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Wait – It’s Not My Job to Fix Others?

I provide new insights and awareness

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As a former lawyer and lawyer coach I’ve experienced how this career creates intense challenges, anxieties and emotional pressures. 

As your coach my job is to be a container for new insights and awareness. 

This article explains what we can do together. 

The Legal Profession Breeds Fear of Failure

Many lawyers go into the law to be of service. 

We want to make a difference. 

We want to fix the system. 

Help others. Transform an industry. Change the world.

As a lawyer coach (and former lawyer) I know the lawyer brain firsthand and how the law is set up to magnetize smart, kind, service-minded individuals. 

They make great lawyers. 

We want to help. 

We want to fix. 

We want to problem-solve. 

As aspiring lawyers we learn to climb the ladder early on. 

Get these test scores.

Go to this college and that law school.

Then you’ll get a job in biglaw. 

Then you’ll succeed. 

Meet your billable hours targets. 

And if we fall short of this. 

We fail. 

And failure isn’t an option. 

Failure is embarrassing. 

Failure is shameful. 

Time and time again I hear:

“I am not of a top school pedigree, why would a firm like that want me?”

“I am not billing enough hours, I am going to get fired.”  

“I am not good enough.”

The legal profession breeds exceptionally hard working perfectionists. 

And at the core of perfectionism is the fear of failing. 

Of falling short. 

Imposter Syndrome is So Difficult to Avoid

Let’s talk about imposter syndrome. 

Never feeling qualified. 

Never quite good enough. 

One step away from dropping the ball.  

We live with anxiety. 

With the weight of the world on our shoulders. 

And because we don’t want to fall short, we work harder.

We have generations of lawyers who are trained to work 16+ hour days. 

The more we do, the more we are worth.

Because we need to prove our worth.

That is literally the billable hour model.

For many lawyers “people pleasing” rears its head. 

People pleasers have poor boundaries. 

It’s ok for me to work 16+ hours straight, day after day. 

It’s ok for me to answer emails at 3am. 

People Pleasers Have Poor Boundaries 

Poor boundaries at work can then translate into poor boundaries at home. 

But we don’t feel confident to say stop, to say we are at capacity. 

To say no more. 

We don’t want to offend. 

We don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. 

We don’t want to look weak. 

Or not be good enough. 

People pleasers fall victim to the unsolicited helpers. 

People giving us advice. 

Do this, not this. 

And then we compare ourselves.

“If I could be a bit more like them” 

“Why is it that everyone else seems to have it together?”

People pleasers attract friends who are always in crisis.

Friends who need you to fix them. 

It gives you purpose to help them. 

But it is an energetic drain. 

It’s My Job To Give You Fresh Awareness and Insight

So it’s no wonder that sometimes people come to coaching wanting to be fixed. 

Without protecting your energy, as a service-minded individual can become exhausted. 

You can land in a place of despair. 

And I am here to tell you there isn’t a hero that can save you. 

And you cannot save anyone else.

So what if it wasn’t your job to fix anyone? 

Not yourself. And not anyone else. 

What if you and only you are the architect of your own destiny?

That only you can “fix yourself.” 

You have to take care of you. 

What If You Were The Architect Of Your Own Destiny

Remember, nobody can make us feel anything. 

Our emotions are our own, and if we are triggered then it is something that is inside of us, the other person has just been the catalyst in exposing that trigger, that is now ready to be integrated or dissolved. 

A coach cannot save you. 

A coach cannot do it for you. 

You have to want change. 

Know that you are the architect of your own destiny. 

There is no magic pill. 

As your coach my job is to be a container for new insights and awareness. 

My job as your coach is to be your partner. Your supporter. Your cheerleader. 

You my friend roll up your sleeves. 

You have all the magic. 

All the beauty. 

All the potential.

Right there. Inside of you.

Ready To Roll Up Your Sleeves?

Imagine if, instead of listening to your inner critic and inadvertently beating yourself up, you could start 2021 knowing you are supported, held, and have access to all the tools and resources needed to uplevel your life and career – because life should feel energizing and exciting. Not draining. 

Lets reach your LIMITLESS POTENTIAL 

Book a complimentary 45 minute consult now 

Check out my website:

www.charlotte-smith.com

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