Journaling is a great tool to use anytime you feel down or overwhelmed. Journaling can help you clear your mind and prioritize yourself so you can get back on track. Anytime I feel overwhelmed or down because I got a “no” or an opportunity didn’t turn out how I’d hoped I would journal. I do a brain dump, and I get everything I’m thinking of out of my head and onto the paper. Then I sit back and evaluate my priorities and what steps I’m going to take next.
Resilience has been described as the ability to withstand adversity and bounce back from difficult life events. Times are not easy now. How do we develop greater resilience to withstand the challenges that keep being thrown at us? In this interview series, we are talking to mental health experts, authors, resilience experts, coaches, and business leaders who can talk about how we can develop greater resilience to improve our lives.
As a part of this series, I had the pleasure of interviewing Victoria Cornell.
Victoria Cornell, mother to three amazing children, wife to my high school sweetheart and founder of Motherhood Life Balance. Victoria believes that motherhood is hard and finding a balance can be challenging but not impossible. With the right mindset, some important tools, and a community standing behind you, you can find peace amongst the chaos and feel happier, accomplished, and determined!
Thank you so much for joining us! Our readers would love to get to know you a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your backstory?
I’m a mom of three ages 3, 12 and 14. I am now a full-time entrepreneur helping women change their mindset and go after their goals. After having my kids and the years went on, I found myself lost, with no motivation, no plans, and I felt like life was just passing me by.
That’s when I started diving into the self-development world. Every time I picked up a book like Rachel Holliss’s Girl Wash Your Face or Jen Sincero’s How to be a Badass, I felt inspired. During my maternity leave with my daughter, I launched my site and printable planners on Motherhood Life Balance with an idea for a 10 minutes journal to help moms focus on their daily to-do list while taking care of their mindset. I wanted to help women who felt stuck get inspired again and take inspired action in their lives.
I knew I wanted to create a journal that would help women practice a mindset routine in very little time from the very beginning. I know from experience that journaling might feel overwhelming, and some don’t know where to start. It took almost three years of designs and ideas before I finally created the version you see today of The Beautiful Mind Journal. A great journal for anyone wanting to explore the world of creating a growth mindset and creating good daily habits.
Can you share with us the most interesting story from your career? Can you tell us what lessons or ‘takeaways’ you learned from that?
I worked in the Insurance world at a 9–5 job for over 10 years. I started to notice an issue with my mental health when I wasn’t happy no matter what promotion I got. I felt lost, alone, and like something was missing.
There was a time I was going for a big promotion. I prepared like crazy and was already doing the work for this promotion so I felt very confident I would get it. When I didn’t get the promotion, I was surprised to find myself asking if I was disappointed that I didn’t get the promotion or was I relieved. I didn’t even know what I wanted and nothing felt exciting anymore.
The issue for me was that I felt empty. I felt like I wasn’t doing what I was supposed to be doing. I had a feeling that there was something else I should be doing with my life. I also felt like I wasn’t being grateful. Most people thought I should be happy, I had a great job with flexible hours and good pay, but I wasn’t.
After this experience I realized that not everyone’s happiness has to look the same. My feelings were valid even though some might not agree. We all have a journey that we are meant to be on in life and we need to accept that our feelings are valid even if they don’t make sense to other people. Our feelings are guiding us towards what we really want and don’t want.
This made me realize that sometimes something is missing, and maybe it’s not as big as a career change, but perhaps it’s a passion you stopped doing or an activity you love to do and don’t do anymore. Maybe it is a side hustle you want to start that helps people or shares one of your talents.
One person’s “perfect job” doesn’t mean it’s everyone’s perfect job. We all have different wants and dreams in life, and they are all valid.
What do you think makes your company stand out? Can you share a story?
Motherhood Life Balance is a place for mothers and women to learn about developing a growth mindset while still dealing with the every day of motherhood. There is a personal development section if you’re looking to start implementing some mindset practices into your life. If you’re looking to be more productive, a section full of productivity tools and printables is available. Do you want to read about travel or money? You can find that on Motherhood Life Balance too.
Another thing that stands out about my business is that I’ve created a great mindset journal for beginners. The journal is easy to follow and won’t take long to fill out. I believe that my site has kept the busy woman in mind with a daily to-do list section and the lack of time is no longer an issue in developing a good journaling practice.
One of my readers used to be very negative and always held onto the negatives in her life. After reading about affirmations and the power of your mindset on Motherhood Life Balance, she decided to buy the journal. I know this person personally and have watched her become happier, confident, and determined to live a happier life.
Her experience with the book is exactly what I want for anyone who feels stuck and unmotivated.
None of us are able to achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person who you are grateful towards who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story?
I have to say that I’m grateful to my husband. He has stood by me and supported all of my business ideas from the very beginning when I wanted to sell Arbonne, then teach yoga, and the list goes on. He has always stood by me, and I know his support has given me the strength and courage to try different things to find happiness. Tony Robbins has an article on the benefits of having a supportive spouse that lists benefits such as reducing stress, achieving more and the list goes on.
I appreciate the confidence he has in me and the resilience he has to always be by my side supporting my goals.
Ok, thank you for all that. Now let’s shift to the main focus of this interview. We would like to explore and flesh out the trait of resilience. How would you define resilience? What do you believe are the characteristics or traits of resilient people?
For me, resilience is not giving up. No matter what comes up, you stay focused on the end goal no matter how many times you have re-routed your path. It’s not easy being resilient, which means you might fall down nine times but get up ten times. You just don’t quit.
Resilient people are usually very goal-oriented, determined, and strong; They are mentally strong with a growth mindset. They see every challenge as an opportunity, and there is a new thing to learn from every failure.
Courage is often likened to resilience. In your opinion, how is courage both similar and different from resilience?
Absolutely! I think you have to be courageous to be resilient. They’re similar in that they both require you to potentially go down a different path or do things another way which takes courage and determination. Changing your plans and finding an alternative way of accomplishing something can be scary, and if you’re not determined and resilient, the chances of you taking that new path could be far less likely.
Being resilient and courageous could also be different because one is about fear, and the other is about determination. You can be resilient and persistent in finding a way to get things done that may not lead you out of your comfort zone where you’d have to pull out your courage to accomplish that task.
Although they represent different characteristics together, they’re both pretty powerful, especially together.
When you think of resilience, which person comes to mind? Can you explain why you chose that person?
Without a doubt, my mother. In the last year, I have watched her battle breast cancer and accept and accomplish every treatment plan and obstacle that has gotten in her way. She will forever hold the title of the most resilient person I know. She is so strong and courageous and has almost finished her chemo and radiation therapy treatment. I’m glad she found the courage and resilience to fight her cancer, and she is on her way to healing.
Has there ever been a time that someone told you something was impossible, but you did it anyway? Can you share the story with us?
Yes, I remember my husband and I wanted to buy our first home at 19 years old. Our family thought it would never happen and continually told us it was impossible. We always heard that we were too young, and we wouldn’t be able to afford it.
I remember looking at houses, and every real estate agent asked the same thing. “Aren’t you guys too young?” and “Are you sure you’re ready for this?”
Looking back, we never really allowed comments to stop us. We knew we wanted to move out, we didn’t want to pay rent, and we were lucky enough to have a downpayment for a starter home.
I think we knew that our family and friends had good intentions, they were worried, and as an adult now, I get where they were coming from.
We continued to save for another year and bought our first townhouse when I was 19, and my husband was 20 years old. It wasn’t easy by any means, but we did it. We knew it was what we were supposed to do.
That decision has paid off many times each time we sold and bought our next home.
Did you have a time in your life where you had one of your greatest setbacks, but you bounced back from it stronger than ever? Can you share that story with us?
Growing up, I had a tough childhood. When I look back, I can see many times where my life could have changed, and I could have let it all take over. There was a time where I was doing all the wrong things; I was partying too much, always hanging out, and never going to school or going to work.
There was a moment that I remember deciding that I was going to prove the ones who thought I’d amount to nothing wrong. Then and there, I prioritize my life, having a family, and buying a home. I decided to use everything I’ve gone through to make sure my kids grew up happy and knowing they’re loved.
I took my childhood experiences and used them as fuel to live my life with determination and strength. I think a lot of my resilience comes from my childhood, and I know it made me stronger, and my will to ensure my kids have a good childhood makes me a better parent because I see the things that, although might have been done with good intentions, were damaging to a child.
How have you cultivated resilience throughout your life? Did you have any experiences growing up that have contributed to building your resiliency? Can you share a story?
100%, growing up, as I mentioned before, I had to continuously tell myself that life would change, that I was strong and intelligent, and I was not my environment. I was told many times that I was soft and weak. I used that as fire to keep going and follow the path I knew I was destined for.
I don’t want to look back and wish I had tried to be an entrepreneur or wish that I had bought that house earlier. I don’t want to regret taking the steps that are needed to reach my goals.
Resilience is like a muscle that can be strengthened. In your opinion, what are five steps that someone can take to become more resilient? Please share a story or an example for each.
I agree resilience is something you strengthen. Here are some things that I believe can help anyone change their mindset and be resilient in their own lives.
Practicing Affirmations
- Repeat affirmations anytime you feel down.
- Repeat affirmations anytime you think of something negative.
- Feel happier.
- Empower Yourself.
Affirmations have been such a powerful tool in my life. Whenever I have a negative thought or feel down about myself or my journey, I recite affirmations to myself repeatedly until I feel better and I believe them.
For example, If I feel nervous, I will recite, “I am confident, I am strong. ‘’ Repeating I am affirmations to yourself will help you believe it to be true. Your mind doesn’t know real from fake. Repeat them until you believe them. The more you do this, the faster your mindset changes, and you believe what you say. Once you believe it, you act upon it, and then the magic starts to happen.
Practice Gratitude
- Remind yourself of what you already have
- It helps you feel happier
- You attract more happiness
- You see the world as a better place
Take time each day to think of the things you’re grateful for right now. Enjoy the moments you have right now and enjoy the journey towards your goals.
Journaling
- Release stress
- Organize your thoughts
- Prioritize your life
- Connect with your true self
Journaling is a great tool to use anytime you feel down or overwhelmed. Journaling can help you clear your mind and prioritize yourself so you can get back on track. Anytime I feel overwhelmed or down because I got a “no” or an opportunity didn’t turn out how I’d hoped I would journal. I do a brain dump, and I get everything I’m thinking of out of my head and onto the paper. Then I sit back and evaluate my priorities and what steps I’m going to take next.
Exercising
- Release stress
- Fight depression
- Feel good
- Clear your mind
- Build Strength
Exercising is a great way to build resilience. The more you exercise, the more you grow and push past your comfort zone. When we do things that move us out of our comfort zone, we adapt and feel less uncomfortable. It gets us comfortable with being uncomfortable, and we are more likely to take on new challenges in our own lives.
Surround yourself with mentors.
- Feel Empowered
- Learn New Things
- Learn from Their Mistakes
- Feed from their energy
- Stay Motivated
Chances are the people you look up to, and the people who are where you are are great at being resilient and have pushed through and failed many times. When you are around people who succeed and have been through the hardships to get where they are, you learn and become one of them.
It’s so important to be around mentors and people you look up to.
In today’s world, you can do this via Facebook groups, social media, and more. We have access to people we look up to more now than we ever have before.
Look at every failure or unwanted experience to be a learning opportunity. Anytime you lose an opportunity or feel down about something, pause and take a second to see a learning opportunity. Having a growth mindset is a vital part of being resilient. You have to know that you can always learn and grow, and nothing is set in store. ,
You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂
Oh, thank you, I hope to reach many people who find my content and journal helpful in their lives.
9.5% of Americans suffer from depression; according to an article in Hopkins Medicine, I could reach even a smaller number of those people and help them see that you can change your life and feel determined and empowered with the right tools and mindset.
About 1 in 4 adults are diagnosed with a mental disorder in a year. That’s a lot of people, and I’d love to help anyone who feels like they just need some guidance on how to slow down and pay attention to their thoughts and mindset.
I’m a big believer in having a growth mindset and changing how you think to change your life. I created a mindset book called The Beautiful Mind Journal that helps you practice a growth mindset in just 10 minutes a day and incorporates your daily to-do list. Each day you practice your affirmations, desires, gratitude, and your to-do list. I believe these are all ingredients for a great start to your day.
We are blessed that some very prominent leaders read this column. Is there a person in the world or in the US with whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? He or she might just see this, especially if we tag them 🙂
I’d have to say, Rachel Hollis. Her book Girl Wash Your Face was one of the first books to inspire me to think. “Why not me?” Why can’t I live the life of my dreams? Why can’t I go for it and take chances? Her book is always the first that comes to mind when I talk to my community about self-help books and personal growth books that I’ve read. Her book opened my eyes and fueled that fire I had within. It would be amazing to meet Rachel. She’s shown how life can take you to amazing places if you put yourself out there and be yourself.
She’s inspired so many, and she touches so many lives. She’s shown women her failures and her success stories. She’s real, and she’s honest, and she’s still changing women’s lives.
How can our readers further follow your work online?
I post regular articles on my website motherhoodlifebalance.com, and I am very active on Instagram @motherhoodlifebalance . I’d love to invite everyone to visit www.motherhoodlifebalance.com and join my email list by downloading my free 3 day mindset reset guide.
This was very inspiring. Thank you so much for joining us!