Victim or Victor – which one do you choose?


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Sanja Tesic - Nature is part of my support network

So we are on this journey, called life. Along the journey we come across various different experiences and situations. Then we make a judgment of the experience by concluding that it was a good one or a bad one.

When I was eight years old I found myself in the experience called the civil war in former Yugoslavia. Then my family and I became refugees and sought refuge in various republics within the former Yugoslavia for five years. Eventually, when I was thirteen years young, we immigrated to Australia.

The fact is, statistically I was a victim of war as were many other people in former Yugoslavia at that time. The other fact is from my perspective I was a victor. I was and still am very grateful that I didn’t lose anyone in the war, my parents managed to get me into schools anywhere we went, I had food and clean water, a clean bed or floor to sleep on and most importantly I had good health and was always surrounded by love.

I am a victor because I saw an opportunity for growth, learning, making new friends and most importantly I found an internal well of strength to help others on their life journeys.

The mindset of a victim is one of blame, pointing fingers, externalising the problems and experiences towards something or someone. However, whether the victim realises or not, the person hurting the most is themselves. Holding a grudge stops the person moving forward and expanding. Having a “poor me” attitude attracts lower energies and vibrations and as a result we attract people that also have a victim mentality who then become our circle, and then the negativity grows further. Our thoughts create our actions and our actions then become our habits and a way of life ultimately.

Choosing our thoughts carefully can then change our mindset. Our new pattern of thinking will (with practice) change our mindset. When we start noticing our thoughts towards the experiences we find ourselves in, this is the first step to making a positive change. To be mindful of how we react and what thought pattern we need to break or change.

To change internally is a choice. It is our individual choice. We have a choice. Many people say, but I was born with this way of thinking and I can’t change or this situation I experienced hurt so much I can’t change the situation. Yes, you cannot change the fact the situation has occurred, however you can change how you look at the situation, right?

Think of a recent situation you felt like a victim and find one positive thing about the situation which can then slowly start changing your perception and mindset toward seeing yourself as a victor.

A thought I am leaving you with…we have a choice to be a victim or a victor, think carefully before you make your choice as it will change your quality of life significantly.

Sanja Tesic ~ Transition Coach (Career and Mindset) and Inspirational Speaker 

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