One of the main difficulties in the way of our growth and achievement of our dreams is dealing with the negativity around us.
When you read positive books and stories about successful people, you are easily inspired, starting to believe more in yourself and you end up taking a step forward. When you read books and attend seminars, you feel energized and you grow wings.
What happens, however, when you return to your daily routines of life?
People around you shake heads in disbelief and by pointing thousands of reasons to you of why what you are striving for is impossible.
Combined with your old beliefs, negative comments and attitudes surrounding you, you begin to pull back, which causes you to feel discouraged and to resign and give up on your dreams.
This is one of the reasons of why you end up re-entering the old train and forget about your enthusiasm — until you read the next book or attend next seminar.
Often those people who are trying to stop you and dissuade you are closest to you. It might be because your dreams are far from their minds and don’t fit within their potential, either because of fear that they will lose you or because of their desire to protect you from mistakes and disappointments.
Of course, in most cases they do it very well intentioned, but if you believe them and succumb to doubts that inspire you, their truth will become your own.
People around you, friends with whom you spend your time, things you constantly hear invariably affect you.
As much as you may not want to admit, the truth is that the environment largely determines your life.
The surrounding society imposes certain ideas of what can be and what cannot be, what is for us and what is not for us.
Isn’t it foolish that because of the opinion of others, you’re ready to give up on your dreams, to give up on what moves your heart forward, to give up on your own happiness?
Do they know better of what is right for you? Are they able to determine how far your capabilities can go?
When people around you have negative and discouraging thinking and you hear such permanent statements, the surrounding confirms the belief, which you may have, that you are born with a certain destiny from which you cannot escape, that you are not among the “chosen people” and that your yearning is unachievable.
Yet deep within you remains a tiny hope that maybe a miracle will happen and suddenly something will turn your life around.
That hope is not enough to change anything.
Your dreams will remain just a dream if you continue to mourn together with people and friends that constantly complain, are discontent, and are despaired and frustrated. They are like a plague, an epidemic that covers quickly many people.
Negative attitudes and comments are infectious and drag you down. Without feeling, you begin to repeat the same words as a zombie, cementing their limiting beliefs as your own. Sometimes you do this automatically under the influence of the general mood and in other cases, just so you fit within a certain environment or because you don’t want to begin an exhausting combat.
Of course, you would ask — How do I deal with negativity around me, so I can succeed?
It is not necessary to neither change your entire world nor completely to isolate yourself from others.
Many people have had different “struggles” with the negativity around them. At first they may try to convince everyone to believe that anything is possible if they want it, that everyone has the power to be the man or woman he or she would like. In response they receive innumerable “evidence” of how nothing will happen and that they won’t be successful. They usually provide hundreds of reasons (excuses) that make things impossible.
I am convinced that a person who does not believe and refuses to change will find “iron” reasons for its inaction. For every opportunity in life you indicate to this individual, he or she always finds a barrier.
I came to the conclusion that it is pointless trying to convince people who do not want to or are not ready for change. This is just a waste of energy and time.
Furthermore, everyone has the right to choose to live his or her life as he or she decides. Everyone has his or her own truth and every truth has a right to exist.
There is no need to change the whole world. No need to convince everyone to think like you.
In other cases, to save yourself useless arguments, you can begin to speak in unison with the common language internally, as you tell yourself that you do this only because you do not want to argue. Merging with the background of the negative minded (though you may be saying mentally to yourself that things aren’t what you are speaking), will not achieve anything.
You cannot be isolated from all people who do not think like you, you cannot escape from everything negative.
The world has diversity and we will inevitably encounter negative people daily.
There’s no need to hide from them as if they were plague. First, because it is impossible, and secondly — because they still need our smile. And if they are willing, they may wish to join our path.
In these wandering and searches of how to deal with negativity, I have realized that there is a way to succeed when people around us are skeptical and negative.
And that is — to be deaf and impervious to negative reviews.
Be deaf to the negative comments, even when you are told that you will not succeed.
If people do not believe that you will achieve the desired, if they indicate only obstacles and reasons for its incomprehensibility, answer them with a smile and change the subject. You do not have to prove how much they’re right and wasting energy.
If others tend to only discuss sensational or negative news constantly complaining of their “severe” destiny, offer to tell them something positive.
By doing so, those who try to discourage you will realize that they cannot rely on you for partnering with them in their constant complaining and will either stop or will withdraw.
In the process of change, a step is to go your separate way with some old friends. This is normal and is part of the change. They were there for a reason, for a specific time and it’s time to let them go.
This does not mean of course to dump all your friends, or not to communicate with anyone who is in a bad mood.
But it is nice to spend more time with positive people and to establish contacts with individuals possessing qualities you are seeking or who have achieved what you want.
Gradually creating a new circle of friends.
It’s no secret that if you want to be rich, you need to make friends with rich people to become part of their environment, to absorb their vibration, beginning to think like them and gradually extend the boundaries of comfort.
If you want to be positive, socialize with positive people, if you want to become a researcher, meet with researchers, if you want to learn how to dance, take dancing classes and be around everyone there. Inclusion to your environment, you gradually acquire new attitudes and change your vibration. In that society your dream no longer seems unattainable.
Another great idea is to join various support groups where people help each other and where they can share the things that excite them and together they can overcome moments of doubt.
Have the courage to be different.
When you first give your opinion, quite different from that of others, most people will declare you to be a mad naive dreamer who still believes in fairy tales and flying in the clouds, but then they will accept and follow you. But for others to accept you, you need to accept yourself first and not be afraid to show the world your true self.
Do not assume that if you’re not like others, you will be rejected. When you adapt to the general opinion of others, this only seemingly creates the feeling that you have been accepted. In these cases you are actually depersonalized, leaving the course of your life in foreign hands and allowing others to define your desires and emotions.
How do you deal with negativity?
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About The Author
Dr. Mila is an internationally known Change Catalyst. She teaches individuals and organizations about awareness, connection, and the need for change – personally, socially, and professionally.