“Unlock yourself from the negative beliefs that you have about yourself.”, With Beau Henderson & Angelina Borak

Unlock yourself from the negative beliefs that you have about yourself.Unlock yourself from the negative beliefs that you have about others.Unlock yourself from the negative beliefs that you have about life.Unlock yourself from the negative beliefs that you have about relationships.There is only misery in negative beliefs.There’s enough misery without locking ourselves up in negative […]

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Unlock yourself from the negative beliefs that you have about yourself.

Unlock yourself from the negative beliefs that you have about others.

Unlock yourself from the negative beliefs that you have about life.

Unlock yourself from the negative beliefs that you have about relationships.

There is only misery in negative beliefs.

There’s enough misery without locking ourselves up in negative beliefs about ourselves, our lives, and other people.

Unlock for a happier self, life, and love.

As a part of my series about “How To Develop Mindfulness And Serenity During Stressful Or Uncertain Times”, I had the pleasure of interviewing Angelina Borak CPC.

Angelina Borak is a Personal Life Coach. She is certified as a Relationships, Life, Professional, Spiritual, Hypnotic, and Bereavement Coach. She uses mindfulness techniques and other tools to help her clients change toxic beliefs about themselves and their lives so that they can create happier and healthier lives and relationships.

In her new book, UnLocked: How to Be Happy with Yourself, she teaches Step One of her original Happiness Formula, which she developed during her ten year coaching career.

Learn more at AngelinaBorak.com

Thank you so much for doing this with us! Our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you share with us the backstory about what brought you to your specific career path?

The truth is I got thrown a curveball, an unexpected, painful divorce. Throughout the process of divorce, I went to a lot of therapy. After spending thousands of dollars talking to a lot of people about my grief and how to pick up the pieces, the only take away I got was lose some weight (so I would be more desirable to men) and go buy a new lipstick or shoes.

That advice didn’t sit well with me.

Needless to say, I didn’t find a lipstick that could replace my marriage.

But I did discover life coaching. I got certified as a coach in several areas: Relationships, Life, Professional, Spiritual, Hypnotic, and Bereavement. If I wasn’t coaching, I was researching mindfulness, self-compassion, and what it took to be happy. In 2017, I developed my Happiness Formula.

I’ve spent over ten years coaching people through the not so fun parts of life, the lumps and bumps, the curveballs, and the sudden course corrections that happen to all of us.

Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you started your career?

When I started coaching my goal wasto positively empower my clients to create their own happiness. It didn’t take long to discover the clients I coached all had one thing in common.

Sooner or later there was always a statement that began with “I’m not” or “I’m too” followed by a grouping of derogatory words about themselves.

These statements undermined all of the work that my clients were doing. Their words had a surprisingly negative impact on every aspect of their lives — how they felt about themselves and their ability to create a happy, healthy life and relationships. The statements seemed to have a damaging force that created a paralyzing impact.

I realized that these statements were deep-rooted beliefs that prevented them from being happy. Furthermore, every time these beliefs got activated, it would stop my clients in their tracks. These beliefs impacted all of their relationships, their day-to-day lives, their ability to achieve their goals, and, most of all their, happiness.

In my practice, I call these negative beliefs Love Locks.

What advice would you give to other leaders about how to create a fantastic work culture?

Leaders must create a work culture that is rich in happiness. One of the biggest emotions that take away from a balanced work culture is fear. If employees are worried about their positions, negatively competing against others in the company, or feel that they have to give over their entire life to the company, they will be unhappy.

First, their productivity will drop and the quality of work will be negatively impacted. Next, employees will band together and create a negative brand image inside and outside of the company. While this is happening inside of the company, a lot of work hours will be wasted because the employees will be talking to each other about what they’re experiencing. Eventually, they’ll leave the company.

Happy, secure employees are productive, loyal employees. Employees are the best brand ambassadors for a company. If employees love and appreciate the company that they work for, they will tell everyone and the pride and commitment will show through. However, the reverse is also true, if employees are unhappy or fearful, they can negatively impact a company in the community. This is especially true in smaller, local businesses. Once a company gets a reputation for not being good to its employees, it can be near impossible to recruit top talent.

Is there a particular book that made a significant impact on you? Can you share a story or explain why it resonated with you so much?

Hands down the book that had a significant impact on me were Louise Hay’s You Can Heal Your Life. It was the first book that made me think differently about my life during my divorce. It was this book that led me to coach.

After reading You Can Heal Your Life, I began to look at problems and issues differently. I realized that any problem I thought I had was merely a symptom of a much greater issue. I had to find a “real” problem. The real problem was almost always a toxic belief that I had formed. I realized that if I changed my belief, I could change everything about my life. This could be done almost instantly. By changing or neutralizing a negative belief, actions change. It’s almost like magic.

Ok, thank you for all that. Now let’s move to the main focus of our interview. From your experience or research, how would you define and describe the state of being mindful?

This might be intuitive to you, but it will be instructive to spell this out. Can you share with our readers a few of the physical, mental, and emotional benefits of becoming mindful?

For me, mindfulness is an incredibly valuable tool that creates awareness of our feelings, thoughts, beliefs, actions, environment, and relationships. Mindfulness allows us to measure, monitor, and modify how we are feeling, thinking, and acting.

There are a couple of points that I think need to be addressed on the topic of mindfulness.

  1. Mindfulness alone doesn’t do anything. Awareness without action doesn’t produce change or results. Creating awareness and then taking action on that new awareness is what makes mindfulness so powerful. That’s why I approach mindfulness by measuring, monitoring, and then modifying. I call them the three M’s of mindfulness.
  2. Mindfulness has to become a daily habit in order for it to be a successful tool. We must learn to come off autopilot and start asking ourselves “How does this make me feel?” or “What kind of reaction am I having to this thought, belief, action, or other stimulus?”

When we use mindfulness, we begin to notice friction. Friction is the clashing between people, thoughts, beliefs, or actions. Friction doesn’t feel comfortable, and it makes life harder. Friction is the indicator that we are in a thought, belief, or situation that isn’t in alignment with our goal or our greater wellbeing. We are essentially using the M’s to check for friction.

Mindfulness is the tool that we can use to change our mindset from a fearful or unhappy mindset to a happiness mindset.

We get a lot of benefits when we make the switch to a happiness mindset.

  • We feel positive, we have a sense of peace, and we create more ease in our lives.
  • We feel abundance, growth, and we develop a can-do attitude.
  • We then have the ability to look for opportunities, growth, and expansion.
  • We stop hormonal imbalances such as high cortisol (a stress hormone).
  • We sleep better.
  • We are able to have clearer and more logical thoughts.
  • We do a much better job prioritizing self-care such as exercise, healthy eating, sleeping, and drinking water.
  • We make time to have fun and enjoyment.

The happiness mindset creates a much higher immunity. This mindset also has a greater ability to lead and assist others. This mindset has the ability to let go of Love Locks (negative beliefs).

Mindfulness is the only tool that we can use to make this type of huge mindset switch.

Ok. Here is the main question of our discussion. The past 5 years have been filled with upheaval and political uncertainty. Many people have become anxious from the dramatic jolts of the news cycle. The fears related to the coronavirus pandemic have only heightened a sense of uncertainty, anxiety, fear, and loneliness. From your experience or research what are five steps that each of us can take to develop mindfulness and serenity during such uncertain times? Can you please share a story or example for each?

Catch and release

Pay attention to your thoughts as much as possible. When you catch yourself thinking about something that creates anxiety, fear, or stress, deals with the issue and release the emotions.

Take action that is productive and positive and then release the thought.

If there isn’t an action that you can take, find a way to occupy the mind in a more positive way such as a brain interrupter, read a book, or get involved in a project.

Deep breathing.

One of the body’s automatic responses to stress, anxiety, and fear is quick and shallow breathing. When you notice your breathing quickening, it’s a sign of friction. Take the time to change your breathing to slow and deep. Breathe from your diaphragm. Breathe in (pushing your tummy out) for a count of seven and exhale (pulling tummy in) for a count of seven. Belly breathing may seem awkward at first, but it’s an efficient way to calm yourself. Making this simple change will help your mind and body release these negative emotions.

Talk with someone

Pick someone who will help you stay positive but who will also let you unload your fears. Using a timer is a great way to put a healthy limit on the conversations without perseverating on fears and worries.

Detox with nature

Your body has several ways that it detoxes. Sweat and breathing are two of these detox methods. Get outside, hug a tree, talk to a plant, take a walk, or simply sit outside and listen to nature. Setting aside some time each day to focus on nature is a really powerful mindfulness exercise. Keep your thoughts focused only on the sounds that you hear outside. If your thoughts drift to other areas, acknowledge the thought and then let it go. Come back to the sounds that you hear outside. When you back inside make note of the thoughts that filtered in.

Don’t overload on negative news — implement a digital detox.

Enjoy yourself online by doing things that make you happy. So, by all means, play your favorite online games, be on Instagram, or Facebook. Just don’t overload on disturbing news. Get the information you need and get out. Set up a time or two each day to get updates and then go about your day.

Productive activity

Last, but not least, get active in something. Make your mind focus and work on something other than the current state of affairs.

Sitting around worrying or being fearful isn’t going to help you during this time. Instead, get involved in an activity that provides you with relief and joy.

In other words: Pick a project!

Make this project your touchstone.

Project Ideas

  1. Create art of any kind.
  2. Get out and redo your garden.
  3. Become an expert in something.
  4. Organize/renovate your living space.
  5. Learn something new.
  6. Get in better physical shape.
  7. Clean up negative beliefs.
  8. Write a book.
  9. Find a way to help others.

From your experience or research what are five steps that each of us can take to effectively offer support to those around us who are feeling anxious? Can you explain?

Be compassionate — Understand that everyone is scared, confused, and is looking for relief. Give others a lot of leeways. Adopt the attitude that if it isn’t hurting anyone, it’s okay.

It’s okay for people to do woo-woo stuff such as chakras, crystals, and moon dancing.

It’s okay for the green, organic person to spray their house with vinegar while others spray their house with Lysol.

It’s okay if people want to talk about doom and gloom or refuse to believe in the pandemic.

Remember the word allowing because right now if something helps someone get through problems, it’s all okay.

Share — Share yourself and your things. Be available to talk and help others.

Stay in touch — Stay in contact with friends and family. Lots of people feel isolated and lost. Spend a few minutes texting or calling people.

Connect — Get online and join forums or Facebook groups that interest you and spend a few minutes responding to other people with caring messages.

Make sure other people are okay and see if you can help them. Being of service helps everyone. Check with nursing homes, hospitals, or other outreach programs to see if you can do some volunteering online or on the phone.

Meditation, prayer, and mantras — Using meditation, prayer, and mantras are good ways to send positive energy into the world. Spend a few minutes each day upping your spiritual practice. It will also help you refocus, reframe, and revitalize.

What are the best resources you would suggest for someone to learn how to be more mindful and serene in their everyday life?

I offer a completely free workshop called The Spark Workshop Series that helps people turn on their happiness mindset and develop mindfulness.

The Free Mindfulness Project

Another great resource is UC San Diego’s Mindfulness page.

Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Do you have a story about how that was relevant in your life?

“You are not always right. It’s not always about being right. The best thing you can offer others is understanding. Being an active listener is about more than just listening, it is about reciprocating and being receptive to somebody else. Everybody has woes. Nobody is safe from pain. However, we all suffer in different ways. So learn to adapt to each person, know your audience and reserve yourself for people who have earned the depths of you”
― Mohadesa Najumi

Life is all about relationships. The ones we have with others. The one with our own self. This quote clicks with me because it acknowledges all aspects of a relationship. It’s about being mindful of myself and others. Mindfulness creates understanding and balance. It removes competition with our own self and others.

You are a person of great influence. If you could start a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂

My movement is simple. Unlock.

Unlock yourself from the negative beliefs that you have about yourself.

Unlock yourself from the negative beliefs that you have about others.

Unlock yourself from the negative beliefs that you have about life.

Unlock yourself from the negative beliefs that you have about relationships.

There is only misery in negative beliefs.

There’s enough misery without locking ourselves up in negative beliefs about ourselves, our lives, and other people.

Unlock for a happier self, life, and love.

Simple, right?

What is the best way our readers can follow you online?

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/angelinaborak/

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/AngelinaSBorak

The best way is to get on my email list because I send a lot of great stuff to my community and it gives people an opportunity to talk with me privately.

Thank you for these fantastic insights. We wish you only continued success in your great work!

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