1) How would you define unconventional love?
By definition, unconventional means alternative. How a love can be alternative? How can a passion get so deep to become a different type of love? At the early stages of love a set of neurons called amygdala, part of the limbic system, shuts down. Amygdala is essential to our ability to feel certain emotion, including fear. Isn’t remarkable that when we fall for somebody our amygdala is no longer able to perceive all the red flags? This is what normally happens in a conventional form of love.
An unconventional love is based on the preservation of our natural ability to react. A self defended love, not clouded by channeled emotions, is definitely what whoever wants.
How we will get there, is the new challenge.
2) What are the three Cs for unconventional love?
The first C is COMPLICITY. Not really a classic definition of love, based on altruism, honesty, sincerity.
We live in substantial times. All the shades of grey between the objective reality and the one we perceive, can be synthesized in one word: loyalty.
Sincerity is overrated and not really practicable in this complex reality. Complicity, instead, is more representative of the only form of sincerity possible in love, nay loyalty.
The second C is CUDDLING. Tenderness and sweetness in a charming fashion is really the key to a powerful, strong unconventional love. Being tactile is one way to express our inner feelings. If the potential partner tends to perceive it as a form of intrusion, they will never be your partners. You have to let them go immediately, period.
Cuddling is a natural form of nurturing our brain with soft feelings. It helps the release of oxytocin, the hormone of long lasting love.
The third C is CASH. This is very unconventional and you won’t find it in any romantic novel. But, let’s be real: how many chances a love can have if both partners are constantly involved in a stressful fight for survival? Very few: the time for cuddling will be absorbed by the hunt for money.
No need to celebrate every night with Champagne, but a decent wine should be put on the table if you want your unconventional love to last, together with a short list of basic, unavoidable things that can help love to flourish.
3) How do singles can be helped in finding true love?
Typically, the more you hunt love, the more it escapes you.
Love is an entity so delicate that cannot stand neither pressure nor any kind of force. Unconventional love is more resilient, because is not based on a misperceived form of sincerity, but it is based on loyalty. The difference is substantial: you can avoid to say something, but your behavior will make feel your partner safe, nurtured and protected. Safety, nurturing and protection will ultimately make your unconventional love more charming for both partners.
The secret is, once again, be chased by love without chasing it! Put yourself in a place where love can find you, and shine as much as you can: you will be found!
Dr. Patty Durath Cooper is the visionary of Love Science. She lives in Italy. Follow her in Instagram @pattydurathcooper