Twelve Years Ago Today, I had a life-saving operation, and My Beloved Mother Was Found Dead

24 April 2009 is a day that I will never forget. Today, I look back with both gratitude and sorrow; I am grateful that it wasn't my time to go - but the grief after my mother will never go away.

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Twelve years ago, my life changed in a way I never could have imagined. I had a life-saving colostomy operation due to a twisted colon that was about to burst. A mass of endometriosis caused it, and on the same day, the unthinkable happened; my beloved mother was found dead.

What do you when your life falls apart and you know that you will never be the same again?

How do you find the strength to continue to fight and carry on?

At times, I wanted to give up. What was the point? My mother was gone, and I had a stoma bag on my belly – carers in my home.

Would I be able to recover?

Was my stoma permanent?

Would I be able to smile again?

To find love?

What was the purpose of this experience?

I had all these questions, but I was aware that I could not control the outcome. All I could do was take one day at a time and let my body heal. It was not easy. I had days when I couldn’t stop crying, and I felt a hole in my heart and soul.

It was challenging to grieve and, at the same time, trying to get well and recover, but something within me told me to keep on fighting. An awakening occurred, and I understood that I had to accept my situation before I could move forward. I had to do it for myself, as well as for my late mother. I could feel and see her Spirit around me during my recovery, and I did not want her to see me upset.

Today, I am blessed and grateful that I did not give up. I wouldn’t have become the woman I am without my trials and tribulations.

I found strength and courage, I relocated to a new country, and yes, I met my soulmate as well.

I am sharing my story because I want you to know that if you are going through hard times, please do not give up or suffer in silence.

You are so much stronger than you think you are.

© 2021 Cath B Akesson

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