Trust and Fear

today, i had a conversation with a someone we could talk  i only know through the internet.he read something that i posted and asked me if we could talkas he wanted to know how he might support me on my kind and generous people are. my answer surprised me.i thought i would have answered as i […]

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today, i had a conversation with a someone we could talk  
i only know through the internet.
he read something that i posted 
and asked me if we could talk
as he wanted to know how he might support me on my journey.
how kind and generous people are.

my answer surprised me.
i thought i would have answered as i usually answer,
well, i am looking for someone to sponsor a van
or i need people to host me in different cities
or i need help creating a crowd funding
or a video team to video my conversations.

but today, my answer was,
i just need people to remind me to trust more
the more i trust, 
the more i will meet the people who will want to help me

what became clear to me in this conversation is 
i know when i trust, the right connections happen,
i meet all sorts of interesting people
the places i visit hold something very rich for me
and even the ups and the downs of life speak to me.

i know this and still sometimes, i feel scared and ask myself,
what happens if things don’t work out?

the trip i will take beginning May 1, 2020
following the blueprint in the story of my book The Mosaic
is a journey of trust, of listening, of receiving.

the ability to receive takes courage 
for me to allow myself be vulnerable enough 
to ask people to help me 
is not something that has been easy for me to do 
to surrender control and place myself 
in the hands of something greater than myself
is not something i am very familiar with doing.
to not know how my trip will be funded, where i will stay,
what vehicle or mode of transportation i will take
in unprecedented for me.
to ask that my trip be guided is easy,
to believe that it actually wil be guided takes faith i didn’t have

todays decision: do i drive around the country or take the train?
anybody know anyone 
who might be able to sponsor 
a van or a one year USA rail pass?

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