Community//

Transforming the Dysfunctional Family

You can't solve a transformational challenge with transactional solutions

Where transaction is, let empathy be

What would be the impact if we replaced most of the transactional based conversations in the following chapters of life with empathic based conversations?

Source: Get Out of Your Own Way by Mark Goulston and Philip Goldberg

A good place to start is to follow the wisdom of psychoanalyst, Wilfred Bion, by listening without memory or desire.

By that Bion meant that when we listen with memory, we have a past personal agenda we’re trying to plug the other person into and when we listen with desire, we have a present or future personal agenda we’re trying to plug them into. In neither case are we listening to or for where the other person is coming from.

And what would be a good tactic to begin taking action on?

Follow the suggestion of the Founder of Common Cause, John Gardner, and consciously intend to “be more interested than interesting” in your conversations and of Stephen Covey, “To seek first to understand, then to be understood.”

Let us know how it turns out for you.

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