Transforming my relationship with alcohol cascaded innumerable changes in my life. Layers and layers of introspection to truly figure out what I wanted out of this lifetime and what was holding me back.
And today, it’s time to finally talk about money.
Yes. Just like my complicated relationship with alcohol, I also had a complicated relationship with money.
You see, I’m the daughter of immigrants who came to the US with nothing more than a suitcase.
McDonalds wasn’t a thing for me growing up. We NEVER EVER EVER ate out. To this day, I don’t think I’ve been to a restaurant with my parents.
While we never went wanting and my parents built an incredible lifestyle for us three kids, their post-WWII Polish communist upbringing never left them. My parents are still the kind of people who bring homemade sandwiches with them when they travel. Like even when we were on a cruise in Italy years ago, they made little sandwiches from the free breakfast buffet to take off the ship. Meaning they never even tried the pasta or pizza in Italy!
I grew up believing that money was extremely hard to come by and that you needed to be really frugal. And while there’s nothing wrong with being frugal, don’t get me wrong, energetically my cheapness was teetering on miserly. I never felt good about spending.
I also thought only really smart and capable people made a lot of money or that you had to sacrifice all your time. I prided myself on working in higher ed before I became an alcohol-free life coach for the “balance” it afforded me. I literally believed I didn’t have it within me to even make money.
As I’ve been working to unpack my money mindset and the blocks that were holding me back from true abundance, I thought I would share with you what’s really worked for me!
Because as I’ll argue over and over again, most people don’t have healthy relationships with alcohol.
And money is no easy one either. So let’s dive in to some tweaks to heal the unconscious blocks you might have around money. This isn’t something I’ve mastered by any means, but I’m making progress!
Here are my huge turning points:
RECOGNIZING MONEY ISN’T THE BANE OF ALL EVIL
When I graduated with my MBA, a lot of my classmates went for corporate and Wallstreet jobs. I thought they were literally suckers. I believed that going after money was greedy and the definition of soulless. I wasn’t soulless! I slaved away like a martyr in higher ed. Woowee.
My estimation of money as evil blocked a lot of the goodness that comes out of it. And the creative means by which it can be manifested. It stopped me from dreaming and even trying. As I healed many of these blocks, I’ve come to learn that money is an energy that you can use to lift others up and enrich your life. There’s nothing wrong with that.
REALIZING I’M WORTHY OF ABUNDANCE
While wanting more money gave me mixed feelings in the past, I’ve learned to recognize that I’m worthy of living the life of my dreams no matter what. If other people are, why not me? I only have one life on this planet. Why not you?
I’ve also recognized what limiting beliefs are standing in my way, like money is hard to come by, or you have to be super smart to make it. A lot of times we put up these barriers because we don’t ultimately believe we deserve wealth. And the issue of self-worth needs to be worked on if you want to improve your money mindset and attract more wealth. Especially if you have/had a complicated relationship with alcohol—they are so intertwined!
(Related Post: How To Believe In Yourself Again)
LETTING MONEY FLOW OUT CONSCIOUSLY
Being the type of person who’s winced at bills and receipts all my life, I had to learn how to spend differently. How could I ever attract money if I was giving it so much bad juju every time it left?
Money is energy that’s being transferred all the time. Money isn’t technically ours—it’s on loan to us from the universe during our lives. When I think about it this way, so many new possibilities open up to spread that good energy around. Choosing social enterprises, shopping locally, supporting causes I believe in or arts I adore (how about good food as art?), supporting entrepreneurs I admire, and being truly thankful that I get to spend to have such an amazing product or service.
Even the little things, can take a different perspective. A water bill too is an opportunity to be wildly grateful for the fact that we have hot water every day. Something billions of people would trade for in a second.
UPGRADING THINGS AROUND ME
You should have seen my pens. I had these gross plastic pens that were all chewed up (I was guilty of the chewing) that seemed to catch every last strand of dog hair in the house. I used these gross-ass pens up until about a year ago, when I finally upgraded to some really nice black metal ones. And I couldn’t tell you how much of a difference it’s made! Something I thought really didn’t matter to me actually changed my entire day and allows me to really enjoy my work and writing.
You could start by upgrading something small in your life and do one thing at a time. After my pens, the pajamas shirts with holes had to go. Ditto the ugly brown couches. Living in a house and space that brings me joy really does change my outlook and mood. What’s one small thing that you could upgrade in your life?
VISUALIZING MY IDEAL DAY
Part of improving your money mindset means believing that you are worthy of your greater dreams. My favorite way to do this is to journal about my ideal day. The location always changes, sometimes I’m in Mexico or Thailand, but the rhythm is the same. I wake up in gorgeous bed, take a coffee out onto the patio and leap into creative writing with the sunrise. After meditating, I take a run along the beach or swim in the ocean and then cool down with a gorgeous tropical fruit breakfast. I work for a few hours doing what I love and helping others, and then go sightseeing for the day.
I want this ideal day to sink into my consciousness so that it’s something I inherently believe in. Try it! Journal “my ideal day.”
LEARNING TO INVEST IN MYSELF
For so long, alcohol was deemed such a necessary expense in my life. A $30 brewery tab? No problem, a nonnegotiable, simply an expense of life. A $30 face cream? Frivolous!—Is how I used to think. Learning to spend money on myself has by far been the greatest lever in rebuilding my self-worth and attracting more money. And there’s nothing like investing in yourself for personal growth and learning. When you work on your mindset, you will attract more money into your life.
I can connect the dots and see how that first $100 program on how to write a book proposal (and many more) led to my book deal. Or how a five-figure mastermind has made me a way better coach and has brought me so many opportunities.
Believe your mindset is worth working on, and I can almost guarantee you’ll have incredible rewards.
If you’re ready to transform your mindset about your worth and design your dream life, I’d love to invite you to join the Become Emboldened program!