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Transforming loneliness to blissful solitude

Meditation, reflection and meditative writing would increase your mental and emotional well-being.

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Unfolding through meditation and mindfulness
Photo by Saffu on Unsplash

I left home when I was eighteen years old to pursue my undergraduate studies in the U.S., and I lived there for more than eleven years. Then, once I returned, I lived in several cities in India because of work. I was lonely and depressed, during those times.

I was born and raised in a spiritually oriented family. At home, I was never told that my worth is conditional – dependent on my external achievements. I knew they would love me regardless. They wanted me to be happy in whatever I choose to do. It was only when I stepped out on my own in the real world that I wanted to achieve more and more. And I did. I worked in Wall Street, in Citigroup, and in other big organizations in responsible positions. I believe, I did reasonably well. However, despite all these achievements, I felt lonely, depressed, exhausted, and anxious.

At times, I wondered whether there is more to life than what meets the naked eyes. That was a deep inquiry I had and that led me to write my first book of poems when I was in deep trouble after the 2008 financial crisis and I was right there in NYC. Writing helped me to heal. It was a creative way to channel my depression and frustrations. Before that, I also survived post 9/11 alone in NYC being a fresh college graduate. Besides the passion to achieve more and more in life, I was also a seeker – a constant seeker of a sublime truth of life. I was constantly looking for something deep, stable, and profound. Then, I got drawn to spirituality in my early twenties. To seek the answers, I spent time at Buddhist village and forest temples in Thailand to practice meditation. Later, I got influenced by the teachings of Jiddu Krishnamurti and started applying these in my daily life.

In the course of my journey in the last two decades, I observed, researched and sought the reasons for depression, loneliness, and other related mental states. There are several reasons. First reason is what we are taught since childhood. Many of us are taught that a person’s worth in life is mostly measured in terms of ‘quantity’ of material possessions the person acquires than the ‘qualities’ that define the person. Second reason is comparison. We live in a society that constantly provokes us to compare ourselves with others. Third reason could be the work culture. Company work cultures of achieving targets without sound moral values and principles are also a big contributing factor why so many people are unhappy and stressed at work. All these are because we are leading a life based on external achievements, ignoring our internal compass. Due to intense competition, emotions, and feelings like selfishness, jealousy, greed, envy, and anger have increased exponentially. In an extremely individualistic lifestyle, people tend not to sacrifice their happiness for others and are likely to be less genuine and giving. As a result, people have become lonelier because people find it difficult to trust others.

In my case, I suffered from loneliness because I found it difficult to connect with people who measure life only based on material success. I also found it hard to find like-minded people who love the material world yet are spiritual and like to live a principle-centered life. The root cause of these is because our system is based on the Newtonian paradigm and these are the consequences of that. In the Newtonian paradigm, the higher qualities of the individual are not given as much value; rather what the individual achieves externally is primarily focused. As a result, the emotions, feelings of the subject do not get cultivated and addressed.

The good news is there are solutions to all these problems. The solution is to embrace a holistic lifestyle based on the Quantum paradigm. Spiritual Intelligence is at the core of the Quantum worldview. In this alternative paradigm, we learn to cultivate self-awareness and become conscious of our eternal existence and that we are spiritual beings and not just physical bodies. We learn that there is infinite power hidden in us which remains untapped and we also have the Free Will to choose. Once we realize this, we start seeing life, differently. We start responding to life, differently. For all of us to have a fulfilling future, we need to mindfully contribute to creating a world where each of us takes personal accountability to act in the best interest of the planet, people, and society and move away from an ego-centric, short term, self-serving interest-driven lifestyle. 

Daily practice of meditation, meditative writing, and self-introspection help to increase our inner power.  At one point, deep shifts would happen within us. It happened to me also. This also led me to leave my corporate life and start my practice on the Quantum paradigm. I do not remember exactly, at what point, the sense of loneliness and depression got transformed into a blissful, joyful solitude; but it certainly did, and I started loving being the person who I am.

Rajyeshwari Ghosh is the Founder at Quantum Holistic Advisory Services – a Quantum paradigm based, multidisciplinary leadership and management consultancy practice.

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