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Trailing the same path, differently

Where art thou, self?

Each one of us has a story. Or should I say each one of us is a book that we ourselves author? That essentially means we write our own stories right? Fancy lines, fancy thoughts. Sounds nice to read or hear, but the question is, do we actually write our own stories? Or do we simply trail the invisible paths created by other people in our lives?

Do we know who we are, and live freely? Or do we let our thoughts and fears overpower us? Do we breathe in the morning air, thanking our stars for being alive, or do we spend the entire day cursing, suffocating and fearful of what might happen! Will being fearful stop what is going to happen from happening? No, right? It’ll happen anyway. So why not live it?

Sounds like a 3 am conversation, post a few glasses of wine, yeah? I have had them too.

Have you ever woken up one day and said, this is not who I want to be, and how I want to live?

Well, I have. But, by now you already know that is exactly why I’m writing this! So, what’s the point? The point is not whether you have faced this or not (because if you haven’t already, you will). The point is, how do you get out of this spiral!

I know it is super easy to say, live your life, go get your dreams, don’t be swayed by reality, bla bla. I get that myself a lot of times. Especially those times when I’m cribbing about my job (Super cliche :P, can’t help though). In fact, I say that to my near and dear ones too.

There come many twists and turns on one’s path where they stop, reflect and ask, “What is it that I’m doing?” “Is this even what I want to be doing?” Moments where the realization dawns that the water has gone above your head, the moment where the train is leaving the station and you need to de-board, you realize I’m on the wrong train dammit, the moment where you feel the days are numbered and time is slipping by and you need to do something!! I’m sure all of us get that, we’re human after all, our minds constantly play tricks on us.

What’s crucial to ponder upon is: “What do we do in that moment?”

Mind you, it’s a moment of decision, not action, not just yet.

I found my strength in Dr Daisaku Ikeda’s words, “Truly happy are those who find their own distinct excitement and emotion in the course of daily life.” This distinct excitement is not achieved by quitting your job, or shutting away people, or muting friend groups, or cancelling plans or just leave yourself be and waiting for some godly hand to touch your shoulder!! I found my distinct excitement in accepting my reality, stepping up my game, getting back at the problem head on, and defeating my fears!

“Rather than becoming discouraged, know that encountering a wall is proof of the progress that you have made so far.”

Yes, I had encountered a wall.

And yes, I broke it down.

Yes, I took flight, and felt the wind in my hair.

But most importantly, yes, I found me.

And when I found what I was looking for, all the confusing paths disappeared, and I found my calling. And now that I have, every moment is precious, and worth living to it’s complete beauty, and living like this, is the me that I love. It’s the me that I’ll always work hard at preserving.

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Originally published at coffeedrafts.wordpress.com

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