The 75-year Grant Study concluded that the biggest indicator to the quality of your life, is the quality of your relationships.
As The Relationship Guy, it has become my main focus to try and help as many people as possible to find these quality relationships.
I am sure that you have seen or experienced healthy and unhealthy relationships during your life and have an idea of what the difference is between them.
So, what makes a relationship healthy and what is unhealthy?
I have written numerous pieces about difficult, toxic and abusive relationships and today I am going to list the top five things that predict if a relationship can offer you a sense of security and flourish.
In a recent study from Canada they came up with a list of things that couples found to be the most important in order to feel as though they were in a loving relationship that could last:
The number one factor is Commitment
When we believe that our partner has a commitment to our relationship, we are more likely to experience a sense of fulfilment, contentment and security.
The second on the list was Appreciation
This goes in both directions of course, that you feel you are appreciated by your partner, but the more important point that came from this was how lucky you feel to have this person in your life.
Third was Sexual Satisfaction
This speaks for itself – how satisfied you are with the quality of your sex life.
Fourth was Perceived Partner Satisfaction
This is a very interesting one as it shows the importance to us of the happiness of others. If someone feels that their partner is very happy because they are in this relationship, it has a measurable impact on how healthy a person feels the relationship is (we are not talking about people pleasing here).
Fifth was the frequency and level of Conflict
We know that when we have low levels both in frequency and emotional escalation in conflict situations, the happier, less stressed and more open a relationship is likely to be.
It is also interesting that all of these factors are subjective and based on the personal belief of an individual about how they feel about the relationship. Happiness is quite literally ‘in the mind of the beholder’!
Actual individual differences, such as gender, religious views etc had a much smaller impact on the perceived satisfaction levels.
What are some of the things that may stop you from being able to find this level of satisfaction?
If you feel stressed, depressed or dissatisfied with other areas of your life, it can have a significant impact on your personal/intimate relationships.
Maybe you have an Attachment Style that will stop you from being able to connect to someone in a healthy way – either you are an avoidant, anxious or anxious/avoidant type of person. With any of these you will never feel 100 per cent secure.
The thing with being human is that there are many variables to being able to find and sustain a quality relationship.
It is however massively important to the quality of your life to find yourself a quality relationship. Not only does it benefit your overall well-being and state of mind, but it enables you to experience more positive relationships on the whole and raise more well-adjusted children.
Is it time to find that quality in your life?
Be good to yourself