Confidence! It’s something that everyone wants and tends to elude us from time to time. Being born with a physical birth defect confidence has been something that has been quite a challenge for me in my life. However, confidence is not something that you can just have or be, it involves constant daily practice. I’ve found working with high achieving women that we can at times be our worse enemy when it comes to creating confidence. If I could go back to my younger self to provide some valuable insight to how I can work on developing confidence, here are some top 10 tips to create confidence to conquer life.
1. Be Yourself! Many of the fears and anxieties in life comes from trying to be other than who we truly are. We compare ourselves to others and feel bad if we haven’t reached our milestones based on what our parents, peers or society thinks we should have achieved by a certain age. The sooner you realise that you are a unique individual with unique special gifts that you can offer the world, the sooner you’ll be at peace with yourself and others. One thing that I learned about while growing up was constantly measuring myself against others. This was a depressing way to exist in the world.
2. Don’t fear not being liked and judged by others. One of the biggest things whilst growing up is being part of a tribe/group. Fitting in. Belonging. The problem with that is, we compromise ourselves out of having the life we truly desire. One of the lessons learned is that it’s ok not to have everyone like you. Why fit in when you were clearly born to stand out! You want to be liked by the right people that will not judge you, but will come from a place of curiosity to respectfully understand your beliefs and perspective and you theirs. Creating an environment of Conscious Inclusion for all is a win-win.
3. Don’t fear failure embrace it. Failure is one of the biggest roadblocks to success. Too many people will give up too soon and admit defeat before they realise that they could potentially be one more failure away from achieving success. I’ve had epic failures in my life, and it really knocks your self-esteem and oftentimes EGO. 90% of people will give up on their dreams because they are too uncomfortable sitting within the failure zone. Failure Zone = Fear Zone. The solution is to rise above it is by looking at the lessons within the failure and course correct for next time.
4. Take Daily and Consistent Action. One of the most important tips of all is to “just do it”. Many people wait for the right conditions before they take action. “When I have this, or be that….” But the best time to take action is when you’re not ready. I’ve spent so much of my time procrastinating or waiting for the right conditions that never come. I like to start with the end in mind. Write your end goal and date of when you’d like to achieve it, then work backwards and write down what actions you can take daily to reach your ultimately goal. Even if you’re not sure just by starting will increase your confidence level immensely. Don’t over think things or Procrastinate, just DO IT!
5. Surround yourself with people that will help you achieve your goals. Everyone with a brain will have an opinion. Be careful who you take advice from when you’re shooting for the moon. Many people may have given up on their dreams and will not want to see you succeed in yours. Have you ever heard the phrase: “Misery loves company”? Sit with the winners, the conversation is different! These people are visionaries, innovators, disruptors they will help you manifest your idea. Find yourself mentors/role models/coaches anyone that will help you get out of your own way to achieve the dreams you want to fulfill. These people have done it, and most of them will have war stories to share with you on how they overcame all their obstacles and failures to reach the success in their lives.
6. Never change the goal, pivot your journey. Have you heard the saying “Insanity: Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results?” Never compromise your End Goal if the path to the goal becomes too difficult. Be prepared to pivot and try new things in order to get the result you want. If the journey gets difficult Look for what’s missing it could be: The What, Why, Who or How.Never give up on your Goal for the sake of an easy win. My motto is: “You can either find a way or find an excuse, the choice is yours”.
7. Learn a new Skill. Best way to overcome self-doubt is to learn something new. It’s easy to become complacent in life and sit within our comfort zones. In order to shake things up always aim to learn something new, whether it’s a hobby, a language or something you can add to your CV to give you credo. If it scares you and makes you feel uncomfortable do that!
8. Gratitude. Always come from a place of Gratitude and be thankful for the work you’ve achieved so far and the lessons that were learned along the way. Compassion for self goes a long way to help you ride the waves of failures, negativity and troughs in your Professional and Personal life. There will always be external forces that play a hand but it’s how you rise above it within that will determine your resilience and grit. Noone can take that away from you. Remember that!
9. Celebrate the Wins however small. One thing I’ve learned in Business is that we spend too much time chasing the big goals that we lose sight of the smaller wins. There’s nothing worse than doing that, you lose motivation and confidence in your self-worth and start comparing yourself to others who are further ahead of where you are. The fact that you’ve got a goal and are chipping away at it should be rewarded. Whether it’s sharing your small wins across your social media pages, or with your mentor/coach or perhaps rewarding yourself with a new outfit. Whatever makes your heart sing do that! Don’t wait until you’ve reached your final destination to reward yourself, by then you’ll be burnt out, depressed and the win becomes shallow.
10. Create Positive Mindset. Last but not least, maintain a positive mindset throughout your life will help you overcome adversity and challenges quicker and help you heal faster than those that see the glass as half empty. Like all the tips listed above, it takes daily and consistent action to reprogram yourself into creating confidence to conquer life. Instead of saying “Why Me!”say instead “Try me!”.