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To the Woman Who Dreams of Someday

Five tips to get out of someday and start living for today.

I used to live in someday.

Living in someday was much easier than living in the past. After losing my high school sweetheart and my brother in tragic accidents, reliving the pain was all consuming.

Living in someday was much easier than living in today. For today I am not enough. Good enough. Wealthy enough. Strong enough. Nor was there ever enough time to check everything off on my never ending to-do list.

But someday? Yeah, I loved someday. Because someday had promise.

It had hopes and dreams of an idyllic future. Belief that all the time and energy I put in would somehow turn fruitful in paychecks and accolades and promotions. Not to mention raising strong, independent children and a present and grateful spouse.

Someday I was going to be someone. Someday I was going to have it all. The house, the cars, the job, the marriage, and more time to do the things that truly set my heart on fire. Someday I was going to look back and see how far I had come.

Yet, someday seemed like a far off dream.

And to be honest, living in someday created a shadow over my life, because I never fully appreciated what was in my life today.

I couldn’t focus in on all the blessings I had right in front of me, because someday they were going to be bigger and better.

It wasn’t until I started to look at today with a fresh perspective that I saw myself for who I am; right here in this moment. One day at a time.

Today I am enough. Enough for my family, enough for my clients, but most of all, enough for myself.

Today I have my needs met. I have food in my fridge, a roof over my head, a supportive husband who believes in me, and three little boys who show unconditional love day in and day out.

Today I paused to reflect on this journey and appreciate how far I have grown. Listening to my heart and going after what I want. Finding freedom in myself by forgiving and releasing old fears and limiting beliefs I told myself over the years.

Today turns out to be a pretty special place to live in.

Are you ready to get out of someday and start living for today? Here are five tips to start:

  1. Ground down in the present moment. Write down five things you’re thankful for. Next write four sounds that bring you joy. Three people who make you smile. Two things that make you feel alive. One positive quality about yourself.
  2. Plan a technology detox. Step away from your phone for 24 hours. Dive into a book versus binging on Netflix. Unfollow people on social media who make you feel less than. Be intentional about showing up for yourself and those around you.
  3. Ask for what you need to be your best self. Do you need a night off to make it to yoga class each week? Do you need to schedule time for out of the house activities? Do you need to hire someone to take some of the load off around the house? Communicate what will support you in being a better person. This is essential to your wellbeing.
  4. Schedule time for you. Meet up with friends for coffee. Book that salon appointment. Call for a sitter and date your spouse. You can only give so much of yourself. Make a commitment to you and show up.
  5. Give appreciation. For your past, present, and someday. Don’t grin and bear it. Truly give yourself time and patience to seek the beauty in the ordinary, unremarkable things of your everyday life. So often we believe the big events are what makes a life, when in fact it’s within the little moments that create the most impactful memories.

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Kathryn Vigness is a speaker, author, and life coach. She is a master at helping women get out of their own head and back into their heart. Kathryn is living proof that life always gives us what we need, not always what we envision. Download her FREE Guide Out of Overwhelm at kathrynvigness.com.

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