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“To optimize mental wellness figure out your legacy for your life before you retire” with Tiffany Toombs & Beau Henderson

I recommend that people figure out their intention or purpose/legacy for their life BEFORE they retire. Your intention is different to your “why”. The why is the thing that drives you in life (ie. Providing a certain life for your kids), where your intention or legacy is where you want to arrive at by the […]

I recommend that people figure out their intention or purpose/legacy for their life BEFORE they retire. Your intention is different to your “why”. The why is the thing that drives you in life (ie. Providing a certain life for your kids), where your intention or legacy is where you want to arrive at by the end of your life. Having a strong intention in life will allow people to still have a purpose or goals after they retire. The direction or intensity of their goals may change post retirement (ie. From making a certain amount per year to travelling for example), however it still gives them a reason to wake up every day and something to look forward to!


As a part of my series about the “5 Things Anyone Can Do To Optimize Their Mental Wellness” I had the pleasure of interviewing Tiffany Toombs. Tiffany is the Founder of Blue Lotus Mind Institute and is a self-love advocate, coach and author. She is presently on a mission to empower 1 million people to live an intentional life aligned with their deepest truth. Toombs combines neuroscience and biology with the spiritual to specialize in helping people overcome self-sabotage, limiting beliefs and negative emotions that stop them from living their passions and the life they truly desire.


Thank you so much for doing this with us! Our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you share with us the backstory about what brought you to your specific career path?

I’ve always been passionate about helping people feel comfortable in their skin. I started in the fitness industry, and it was through my own personal breakdown (breakthrough) and struggle with depression and anxiety that I came to truly understand how powerful the mind is.

Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you started your career?

I’ve had a lot of clients have incredible transformations in their lives by taking control of their mental wellness. There are two that most standout.

I had a woman come to work with me who had been sexually abused growing up by a family member. I didn’t know when we first started, but this woman (in her fifties) had never been able to have sex without a panic attack, which also meant she had never had an orgasm. We went through 7 healing sessions to heal the trauma she had experienced and to release the emotions she had experienced and her panic attacks disappeared and she had her first (and subsequent) orgasms!

I also worked with a gentleman who’s doctor was concerned about his health as his Type II Diabetes was out of control. After 2 months of working together to retrain his thoughts, he reversed his Type II Diabetes to pre-diabetic numbers!

Can you share a story with us about the most humorous mistake you made when you were first starting? What lesson or take-away did you learn from that?

I’d say the biggest mistake I made was to assume that because I was ready to make change and take charge of my mental wellness that everyone else around me should be. I annoyed a lot of people preaching about mindset techniques and tools and pushing people to make change when they weren’t ready!

None of us are able to achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person who you are grateful towards who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story about that?

My mentors Pip McKay and Lauren Jobson (both in Australia) were incredible resources for me during my journey of learning the techniques I now use today.

What advice would you suggest to your colleagues in your industry to thrive and avoid burnout?

Booking in regular self-care time is paramount to avoiding burnout. Find activities that allow you to feel rejuvenated and rested, schedule those in regularly. For me, it’s monthly massages, daily meditation and journaling.

Also be firm in your boundary setting. I find people in this industry are so quick to want to help others heal that they often shift their boundaries to fit in additional sessions. Be aware of your personal limits and remember that we can’t help others if we are burnt out, sick, tired or resentful!

What advice would you give to other leaders about how to create a fantastic work culture?

I think the 3 key elements to creating a fantastic work culture are:

1. Communication: ask for what you need in a clear, concise manner. Ensure that the other side understands exactly what you are communicating. Manage their expectations and yours from the start. Listen to others to understand.

2. Ensure everyone knows, understands and upholds the core values: what are the 10 attributes that are most important in the company? What are the behaviours that exemplify these attributes. Talk about these core values often and be a living, breathing example of them.

3. Take ownership: I’ve found the most successful leaders are those who take complete ownership for everything that happens in their life and environment. By taking ownership we inspire others to do the same.

Ok thank you for all that. Now let’s move to the main focus of our interview. Mental health is often looked at in binary terms; those who are healthy and those who have mental illness. The truth, however, is that mental wellness is a huge spectrum. Even those who are “mentally healthy” can still improve their mental wellness. From your experience or research, what are five steps that each of us can take to improve or optimize our mental wellness. Can you please share a story or example for each.

1. Self-Reflection: take time (preferably daily) to be aware of the thoughts that are dominating your mind. It’s important for people to know that when we experience a thought, we release a chemical in the body (a hormone) of the same quality as the thought. That hormone leads to emotions that trigger more thoughts of the same quality. So if I wake up in the morning and the first thing I think is how stressful my day is going to be, I flood every cell in my body with stress hormones. This makes me feel stressed, creating more thoughts of stress, which produces more stress hormones. It becomes a vicious cycle that can be difficult to escape from. To get out of these negative patterns of thinking, we need to first realize we are in a negative loop and consciously make an effort to experience something different (like gratitude or joy).

2. Meditation: the most common misconception about meditation is that you need to have a completely clear mind. In reality meditation is simply about taking time for stillness and silence to become an observer of your thoughts. Experiment with different forms of meditation — relaxation, visualizations, focus meditations, walking meditations and see what provides the best results for you and what you need on the day. There is no right or wrong way to meditate. And no two mediations are ever the same, everything will change based on how you feel on the day.

3. Be aware of your surroundings and the people in your environment: research from the Heart Math Institute has shown that our hearts are also sensors and pick up the vibrational frequencies (energies) of other people’s hearts. When we experience negative emotions, our hearts give off one frequency, while when we experience positive or pleasant emotions, our hearts give off a different frequency.

If someone is consistently surrounded by people who are negative, both the energy given off by their hearts and the negative words they use, impact our body and causes us to release hormones relative to the frequencies we are picking up. Being around negativity constantly puts us into a negative state.

Our unconscious minds are the same. We effectively “are what we eat” mindset wise. If we are consuming negatively (in the news, listening to people gossip and complain, listening to angry music, etc) our mental wellness declines. If we are consuming high frequency, positivity, our mental wellness improves.

4. Journal: one of the biggest causes of mental dis-ease is that a lot of people don’t know how to deal with emotions. Instead, we end up suppressing negative emotions, which is toxic to both the body and the mind. I recommend my clients have 2 journals: a dumping journal where they can’t write anything negative and get any negative emotion out onto the paper. They can use this journal to scribble, swear, write out whatever they are feeling, and then either burn it (using fire safety of course!) or shred it. The other journal is a gratitude journal for positivity and to write down their daily wins or what they are grateful for. This allows people to deal with the emotion in a productive manner.

5. Recognize the triggers: I’ve found that people avoid situations or people who trigger them, because they don’t enjoy being triggered. Instead, I encourage people to use their triggers as a sign of something inside of themselves that needs healing or needs to be addressed. By allowing ourselves to learn from these triggers, we can heal the things that often lead to mental dis-ease.

Much of my expertise focuses on helping people to plan for after retirement. Retirement is a dramatic ‘life course transition’ that can impact one’s health. In addition to the ideas you mentioned earlier, are there things that one should do to optimize mental wellness after retirement? Please share a story or an example for each.

I recommend that people figure out their intention or purpose/legacy for their life BEFORE they retire. Your intention is different to your “why”. The why is the thing that drives you in life (ie. Providing a certain life for your kids), where your intention or legacy is where you want to arrive at by the end of your life. Having a strong intention in life will allow people to still have a purpose or goals after they retire. The direction or intensity of their goals may change post retirement (ie. From making a certain amount per year to travelling for example), however it still gives them a reason to wake up every day and something to look forward to!

How about teens and pre teens. Are there any specific new ideas you would suggest for teens and pre teens to optimize their mental wellness?

The greatest skill teens and pre-teens can learn is not to internalize other people’s opinions and allow others opinions to become their truth or their identity. I train teens and pre-teens to understand that there is no single reality, instead we each view the world around us through the filters of our belief systems, experiences and emotions. When we change a belief or emotion (aka filter) what we look at changes.

Teens and pre-teens (along with children) are the most vulnerable age groups in terms of personalizing comments from others (especially in circumstances of bullying or abuse) and allowing those “not good enough” thoughts to become their overarching identity, leading to depression, anxiety and in many cases suicide. By learning to recognize that when others put us down, they are often projecting their own fears, worries, beliefs of themselves onto us, it makes us less susceptible to internalizing those words.

Is there a particular book that made a significant impact on you? Can you share a story?

Can’t Hurt Me by David Goggins had a powerful effect on me. For me personally it helped me let go of the fear of failing the first time and to recognize that if things don’t happen how I want to, I can come back more prepared for a future attempt when I reflect on what I can improve.

You are a person of great influence. If you could start a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂

I’m a self-love advocate through and through! I want to start a movement of self-love that is about more than red wine and bubble baths. I want self-love to by synonymous with mental wellness, with taking ownership and responsibility for our emotions and thoughts and to inspire people to do the work to heal themselves!

Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Do you have a story about how that was relevant in your life?

My favourite quote that I always come back to is from Thomas Edison “If we did all the things we were truly capable of, we would literally astound ourselves”. It reminds me that the only way to truly know my potential in this life is to keep taking action every single day!

What is the best way our readers can follow you on social media?

They can find me on Facebook at www.facebook.com/bluelotusmind, on Instagram at www.instagram.com/tiffanytoombs or YouTube at www.youtube.com/c/TiffanyToombs

Thank you for these fantastic insights. We wish you only continued success in your great work!

Thank you!

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