Have you ever feel like life is an ocean? Sometimes, it is calm, and you can just relax. However, there are also moments where it feels like there is a storm, and the waves have been trying to drown you. Those moments can last and are almost enough to make you forget that they will pass.
Each day, all you feel is exhaustion, and you are not even looking forward to your tomorrows as you used to. You begin comparing your todays to your yesterdays, and you can’t help but criticize yourself along the way. Did you really made the right decision to start a family? Can you really handle the challenges of parenthood? Dear mom, I think you are burned out.
You’re Expecting Too Much From Yourself
It happens, and whether you deny it or not, it can be hard for you to let go of the expectation you built. Before I got pregnant with my daughter, I already have an idea of who I should become. I was ready to change myself in order to be the best mother for her. However, this belief is going to tire you out.
This is gonna hurt, but what you’re putting onto yourself are unrealistic expectations. You have these beliefs that you should become this and that. A mother should be able to provide all the needs of her baby. A mother should be able to take care of everything, even without help. A mother is being lazy if she decided a time off. A mother who gets angry is a bad mother.
With these thoughts, you are forgetting that you are also human. You have to stop feeling disappointed with yourself. If you fail to do the things you imagine that you’ll nail before motherhood, that doesn’t mean that you are a failure.
Some days, you feel guilty because you can’t do it all. But hear this out, you can’t do everything all the time, and it’s okay to ask for help. Most of the time, these failures aren’t really failures. And mothers are allowed to make mistakes too. You can mess up, say the wrong thing, or do the wrong thing. You are a great mom, regardless.
When was the last time you took a day for yourself? Have you been getting enough sleep these past few days? I know that it has become a habit for you to prioritize your kids and work before yourself. But these habits are going to wear you out. I want to remind you that boundaries are okay, and they are necessary for you to become a good mother. If you are not getting enough rest and time to breathe, you will also not be able to do most things the way they should be done.
You Can’t Always Be Perfect
With expectations comes the belief that you have to be perfect. And most of the time, no one is setting this pressure besides yourself. No one is judging you because they know that you are more than a mother. If you always feel like you are not good enough and you’re always pushing yourself, you will eventually get burned out.
You are allowed to have thoughts of frustration, thoughts that you want to sleep, thoughts that you want to do other things. But having them doesn’t mean that you are a bad mother. Because at the end of the day, you only want the best for your family. And the fact that you’re beating yourself from even thinking of those thoughts also mean that you truly care and love them. You are human, and you will get tired. And that’s okay.
Perhaps you can’t even take a day off because your brain is constantly reminding you of your to-do list. Have you contacted your son’s coach about the practice on weekend? Have you finished folding the laundry? Have you called your husband and told him good morning? The stress has been making it harder for you to breastfeed, so now you feel like you’re not a good mother because you have to use formula. It feels like there’s not enough time, and you feel stuck in a fast-paced world. But if you forget one of your tasks, that’s okay too.
If everything feels overwhelming, accept the fact that you can’t do everything. Get a babysitter, get a helper to clean the house. It’s okay to ask your mother to help with the kids. It’s okay to ask your husband if he can cook dinner tonight because you have to answer a lot of emails.
They’ll be glad to help. You are not defined by the list of what a mother should be. If you can’t breastfeed, you can use an organic baby formula. Your baby will still get the proper nutrition, as mentioned by this website. Nonetheless, there is no perfect mom checklist like an exam that you should score perfectly.
Reclaim the Light Inside of You
Burnout is a thing, and various studies are able to prove that it is something serious. As I have said throughout this review, self-care is important, and you are still a good parent if you do it. Think of yourself as a phone. Once the battery dies out, you are not going to be able to use it. You need a recharge before that happens.
If you need a break or a breath throughout the day, give it to yourself. Maybe when your kids are at school you can dedicate an hour to relax. If your budget is good, it’s not a bad thing to spend some for yourself. Even if it’s just a new haircut or a new pair of shoes, it can motivate you because you’re rewarding yourself from being a responsible parent.
If you are motivating your kids to stay healthy, you should also never neglect your own health. Set a good example by exercising and eating healthy as well. And if you are driving your children around for playdates, don’t forget that you need to socialize too. A strong support system will keep you grounded, especially on the days where you feel overwhelmed. You can balance your social life and still be a good mother.