Community//

Tips for Managing Borderline Personality Disorder Symptoms in Relationships

Individuals who face Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) are usually unable to handle relationships with their closed and dear ones. A sudden outburst of anger, severe mood swings, fear of getting rejected, abuse, physical self-harm, feeling alone and helpless, impulsive behavior, and going off the balanced way of leading life are some of the main concerns. […]

The Thrive Global Community welcomes voices from many spheres. We publish pieces written by outside contributors with a wide range of opinions, which don’t necessarily reflect our own. Community stories are not commissioned by our editorial team, and though they are reviewed for adherence to our guidelines, they are submitted in their final form to our open platform. Learn more or join us as a community member!

Individuals who face Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) are usually unable to handle relationships with their closed and dear ones. A sudden outburst of anger, severe mood swings, fear of getting rejected, abuse, physical self-harm, feeling alone and helpless, impulsive behavior, and going off the balanced way of leading life are some of the main concerns. Those who are in a relationship with a person with BPD are mostly seen in appalling situations. They have no idea how to handle the affected person. Many leave people with BPD on their own and cuts ties. Whereas, others get them treated and stay loyal. 

If your beloved is diagnosed with BPD then it is your duty to manage reactions and actions. Also, it is important to set limitations or boundaries with proper understanding and communication. With the help of support and medication, these people show positive results in their behaviors and attitude. 

Symptoms and Signs of Borderline Personality Disorder

Getting aware of the symptoms and signs of a BPD is a must. However, it is not at all easy and needs efforts on many levels to make sure that your beloved is actually suffering from BPD. Many couples and parents or other relations know that the person they are living with has different behavioral issues, but they don’t know if it is a borderline personality disorder. Learning about the symptoms helps in bringing some sort of hope, faith, and relief. 

Taking person with BPD should be taken to places where they can be treated with both, medications and counselling (if necessary). In that regard Borderline Personality Disorder Counseling London is one of the best places with perfect plans for mental or personality disorders. 

Enlisted below are some of the ways to determine if your beloved is going through any disorder or not. 

  • Self-harm or suicidal notes are prevalent in the patient.
  • Thinking patterns are not justified. There are rapid changes in the thought process.
  • Indulgence in risky behaviors (include unprotected sex, consumption of drugs, gambling, use of too much money, etc.).
  • There is always the fear of rejection, abandonment, betrayal, separation, or breakups.
  • Temper issues are major. 
  • Unable to empathize with others. 
  • Mood swings from the highs to the lows (from euphoria to self-criticism).

Treatment of Borderline Personality Disorder

As mentioned above, BPD is something that can be handled with support and an excellent home environment. Along with that, it is also important to communicate with the one who has BPD. The question which comes in our minds regarding it is how exactly can we change the structure of the home? 

Remember the following points in order to keep the environment healthy and in favor of the person who is diagnosed with BPD. 

  1. Easy environment: those who have BPD behave normal and don’t get reactive to a calm, easy, and relaxed environments. It is best to talk healthy and productive in the presence of the affected person. To keep things super relaxed, relatives like the boyfriend, girlfriend, parents, siblings, etc. are advised to stay relaxed at the time of the patient’s mood swings. Also, keep in mind if and when people talk about something which triggers a patient’s mental status. 
  • Discussions and consequences: important decisions and discussions should never be centered on the setbacks of the disorder. Contrariwise, it is extremely important to not put stress on the progress (of behavior) of the one who has BPD. It is because if people in general talk or discuss the progress of the disorder, the person who has it may start to feel self-sabotaged. 
  • Opportunity to communicate: as discussed in the previous point, people with BPD should be given a chance to talk. Even if they don’t make any sense, these people with the disorder should not be stopped. Let them talk about their interests, events, activities, news, and whatever they want to share. Laugh with them, crack jokes, have dinners and lunches together. All these activities will definitely help in suppressing behavioral issues. 

Now, there is another question which may come in your mind. That is, how to be sure that you are communicating effectively. 

  1. No accusations, negative talk, or reactive gestures: if you really want to help the one with BPD, be sure of not doing anything that may hurt the one with the disorder. Don’t be judgmental, never accuse them guilty, say a big no to negative talk, or shaming of any kind. 
  • Be reactive in a good way: when the patient starts to get reactive, hear them out. Don’t pinpoint their flaws at any point in the argument. Don’t take anything that they say personally. Apologize if the person wants you to improve on any level. The crisis will not escalate if you handle the entire episode (of mood swing or similar symptom) nicely and wisely. 
  • Walk away only if needed: if there is nothing you can do to keep the person (with BPD) on grounds, it is best to walk away in a manner that he doesn’t notice much. Then, after a few minutes resume the talk (when you see the patient has calmed a bit).

How to react if a person with a disorder is threatening to harm himself?

Chances of crisis seem to shoot up if you see an individual with BPD threatening to harm him/herself. At times these signs are explicit. For example, eating less, scratching the skin, isolating oneself from others, shaving or dyeing hair too much, etc. All these actions are the representation of not being able to express feelings or emotions verbally. If the early signs of the reaching crisis are diagnosed or, it becomes easier to prevent from emotional turmoil. However, if the situation worsens, the person who has BPD is advised to be taken to London private psychologists or/and psychiatrists.  

Another way of keeping people with BPD self-harm is through zero mentioning of words like suicide and self-harm. Instead, it is suggested to talk to them openly so that nothing stays in their minds. Suicidal threats must be catered right away and should not be ignored. Even if someone says that he/she is suicidal just in order to seek attention, it should be taken seriously. 

Last verdict: is there any prospect of getting completely normal? 

Mental health and its complexities are healed differently as compared to physical illnesses. In mental disorders, there are very thin chances of getting completely normal. Recovery from mental disorders or personality disorders is noticed through actions, reactions, and behavior. It means there are no or lesser threats of self-harming, mood swings, outbursts of anger or other emotions, and decreased rate of reactions. Nevertheless, relapse may happen but it is easier to handle these episodes if the beloved ones are sure that they don’t want to give up on the person with a borderline personality disorder. 

    Share your comments below. Please read our commenting guidelines before posting. If you have a concern about a comment, report it here.

    You might also like...

    Community//

    The War Inside of My Mind

    by Ashley Nestler, MSW
    Community//

    Borderline Personality Disorder and Me

    by Ashley Nestler, MSW
    Jorg Greuel/ Getty Images
    Well-Being//

    Why Are Impulsive Behaviors So Hard to Control?

    by Dr. Samantha Rodman

    Sign up for the Thrive Global newsletter

    Will be used in accordance with our privacy policy.

    Thrive Global
    People look for retreats for themselves, in the country, by the coast, or in the hills . . . There is nowhere that a person can find a more peaceful and trouble-free retreat than in his own mind. . . . So constantly give yourself this retreat, and renew yourself.

    - MARCUS AURELIUS

    We use cookies on our site to give you the best experience possible. By continuing to browse the site, you agree to this use. For more information on how we use cookies, see our Privacy Policy.