Every day we wake up is another chance to start over….
Time is a jack of all trades. An unspecified measure of a period. It is a record of seconds, minutes, hours, months, years, decades and centuries. It can heal wounds, mend fences, torture souls and age a thriving body. My life has gone through a metamorphoses in the past decade-and-half. The thought of talking decades seems surreal. I feel there is yet, so much more to explore internally and externally. During my adult years, I’ve been offered two opportunities for new beginnings. The first time was a day that changed all our lives forever.
Like many fellow New Yorkers, each morning on my way to work I’d pick up the breakfast every day from the usual place. On my way to cross the bridge connecting to the World Financial Center. I’d stop in the lower level of the Twin Towers grabbing my favorite coffee and brioche. The E and A trains went directly into an underground entrance to the towers. As I approached the North Tower of the World Trade Center shortly before 9:00 AM, I witnessed excessive panic. Massive crowds rushed towards the exits of the station. I wanted to head inside but instinctively felt something wasn’t right. People were running and screaming in the opposite direction. My thoughts were scattered. I was flustered and confused. I couldn’t understand the fear. I headed for the nearest exit leading to Church Street. Standing by the post office in the corner would buy me a few minutes. I wanted to make a call home from my Nokia to check if there was any breaking news. I walked up the stairs to a view of beautiful blue skies in September. My eyes had a difficult time grasping the sight of a plane hitting one of the towers. It was 9:03 AM during my daily commute. Fireballs were landing sporadically on the streets from a plane engulfed in flames at the top of the tower. It’s a vivid visual that will never be forgotten. I was lucky to walk away that day. Thousands of victims never got back home to their families. Life gave me a gift but time passes. It heals and gets away from you. Sometimes memories can too.
The second time in my life to be blessed with new life was 10 years ago. Thankfully, it didn’t involve the devastation of the first. Divorce hit the home front after a decade. My life was thrown into a tailspin of despair. There were moments that felt as if the vortex would swallow me whole. The agony of failure and sadness were at times unbearable. I wasn’t sure I’d pull through. It was as if life cut me open and left me on the operating table to fend for myself. The reality I had known up until that point was gone in an instant. I can recite a story of how things went down in the blink of an eye. It might make for a good headline but would be a lie. Call it what you’d like the gut, heart or intuition. Truth is deep down I knew all along we weren’t a good fit. However, in my late 20’s with a strong desire to follow everyone’s suit, I chose to marry. Time was ticking for me. It forced me to put the pedal to the metal even if it meant settling. I have no regrets from this time. I fell deeply in love. A love that breathed new life into my soul. A beautiful daughter, now 15, who is the apple of our eye. I’ve learned there is no failure in love but there is in hiding authenticity. The truth of who we are is our greatest win. My marriage didn’t fail, we outgrew each other. Because of it, I have evolved as a woman and human being. The time since divorce has been full of emotional and spiritual growth which overwhelms me with gratitude. It has helped me find a sense of self and new purpose. It has provided me with a fresh start towards a happier, fuller life leading me to pursue new passions inspiring me each day. Today that motivation has accompanied me in writing this article allowing my vulnerability and true self to step into the light. Years have passed giving me time to cure old wounds. Many memories have faded helping me forgive both him and myself. Each of the past two decades has awarded me with a new beginning. This time it will not go unnoticed.
Life provides an array of opportunities to find purpose. Time allows us to fill in the blanks as best we can. It’s not uncommon to repeat lessons until we grasp the message behind it. The clock keeps ticking. Time doesn’t stop for us. In some instances it is taken away far too soon.
Create your own new beginning. These are 3 things you can do today to make time count for you.
- Stand Still – Stop. Take a Breath. Take it all in. Allow yourself to really see and feel everything around you. There is energy and constant movement everywhere. Seek gratitude for each breathe and the life that flows through your veins. You are alive. Be thankful for it each day.
- Look Within – The answers to many of life’s questions are already inside you. The heart, gut and instincts work together to help lead from a position of strength. In unison they give you the signals necessary to be able to take matters in the best direction. It will never be easy as it’s likely the path less traveled. But in the end it will be the most rewarding.
- Live purposely – You cannot be heard if you don’t raise your voice beyond a whisper. Don’t accept life as a ghost, allow yourself to be seen as you are. Once you find your truth, own it. Your dreams are yours and don’t have to align with anyone else’s. Be fearless in your journey to the place you are meant to be.
Time moves at the speed of light, beating to the sound of its own drum. Begin your dance today before the music stops.
Originally published at awakened-woman.com