Being able to recognise and let go of the things that no longer serve you is paramount in you being able to move forward. The quicker you can let go, the more space you will allow in your life for the things that do serve you and will propel you forward. Hanging on to the past as an entrepreneur, is like trying to sprint with a ball and chain attached to you.
The thing is, it’s not always that simple. You may know deep down that there’s something (or someone!) you need to let go of, but when you acknowledge it, your inner dialogue gets into a conflict. All of the sudden, you’re looking back through rose tinted glasses or remembering all only the good times and it’s confusing! Due to this, you end up doing nothing at all, until you acknowledge your desire to let go again, which is followed swiftly by the levelling up monkey (LUM) with every excuse under the sun as to why you should stay as you are.
Your LUM is your friend, he is only looking out for you- but he’s overprotective and has a big fear of change. You start thinking you are ready to let go and to level up in any area of your life, and your LUM will do everything in its power to stop you by feeding you with ‘what if’ scenarios, insecurities and giving you rose tinted glasses to look back with. Even if your current scenario is not a good one, the LUM actually prefers this to stepping into the unknown. Sometimes, hardships can even become part of our identity, and if you try to step away from it, the LUM will attempt to pull you back in.
“What are you doing? This is who you are!” It likes consistency, no matter how boring, or even dangerous the scenario.
The good news is that this levelling up monkey isn’t really some animal living in your head, it’s a part of you- this means you can control it, and the first step is to be aware of what’s happening.
Once you become aware that the LUM is talking, don’t get in a flap- this will only aggravate the situation. Just as with a dog barking like crazy over a little sound, you getting worked up will only get the monkey more fired up, louder and harder to calm down.
Instead, picture a cartoon monkey with a funny voice talking to you- it’ll lessen the intensity! Reassure the monkey, calmly, that you’re all good and that you know what you’re doing and meditate to bring yourself back to the present state. This will calm the brooding over the past and the ‘what ifs’ of the future.
Then do some journaling and ask yourself the following questions.
1. What does the future look like if I continue to hang on?
2. What positives am I getting from holding on?
3. What COULD the future look like if I decide to let go and allow it to be replaced with something extraordinary?
4. What evidence do I have that supports the fact that it’s time to let go?
Some situations are more difficult to let go of than others. It’s important to let yourself feel any emotion that comes up- you can not let go of it, if you keep blocking it out. Honour the part of your life that you are letting go of- it’s perfectly understandable to feel sadness and grief. Give yourself time!
You may find it beneficial to write a letter explaining that you are now ready to let go and why- you don’t have to send it, this is just for you. It doesn’t even have to be a letter to a person, it can be to a situation.
If what you need to let go of is a traumatic event, or somebody who has done you wrong, as hard as it may be, look for the light shining through the darkness. What lessons have you learnt? What good came out of it? If you are struggling to think of any, keep at it- there will be something. Maybe the support of your close friends? Or a realisation you made about yourself?
If it involves somebody else, take time to self reflect. What could you have done differently? How can you change your own behaviour or reaction if a similar situation come up again? Most people, tend to blame the other person fully, but if you do that, you are giving them your power. Accept your part in it, which gives you the ultimate power in making sure it doesn’t happen again. If you are holding onto anger about another person, remind yourself that you are only hurting yourself by holding on to it.
You are letting go for yourself, not for anyone else.
Finally, trust that you won’t feel like this forever. Trust that it will pass and that the emptiness will be filled with something extraordinary- and allow yourself to receive.
Is there anything in your life that you need to let go of, to allow in the extraordinary?