“It’s true we don’t know what we’ve got until its gone, but we don’t know what we’ve been missing until it arrives.”
Am sure Bette Davis had said this in a different context all together, but for me this defined my transition to 40’s.The 40’s came and then I knew what I was are missing …and I know I am not alone ..as so many of my friends have acknowledged this sense of transformation….….
We spent the 20’s ..pleasing the world, treading with unsure steps …trying to be that ‘achiever’but well within the boundaries defined by the society ….trying to fit into every mould prescribed by the society. Then 30’s were spent in chasing perfection as the perfect wife and then a perfect mother. By the time 40’s arrive, comes the understanding of this deception called ‘perfection’ and that is when the metamorphosis happens. This is the time when you truly come into your own. By now you know yourself so well…..your strengths ..your weaknesses …. you no longer want to judge or be judged ……what people think of you matters less and less…..and you love yourself more and more…and thus the world around you changes.
I was watching a recent interview of Bollywood actress Kajol and what she said corroborated the same…she in her usual candid style admitted that she looks more beautiful now (and I can’t agree more..) than her younger days simply because she feels more beautiful now. Now we all know that she is one of those actresses who was not known to suppress or hold back even in her younger days……yet she feels the change within her …that’s the magic i have been talking about.
There is certainly a SPECIAL kind of liberation associated with the 40’s……I have often had a discussion around this with my tribe, who is rocking it completely. We’ve laughed, argued, introspected, exchanged stories…..but without a doubt have always agreed that 40’s have bought in a certain magic…..perhaps because….
We are more at Peace with ourselves – I have often wondered …how much of our time we have wasted in thinking about what others will say…. what others will think about our dressing, housekeeping, parenting…….and now as we learn to LET GO…a certain peace descends on us!
We start ‘Living by Choice’ – Since we feel liberated to let out the real ‘us’ without any fear of judgement, we certainly are more confident. This confidence is a by-product of clarity of thought, knowing yourself …above all loving and accepting yourself!
We are ready to Experiment – …this is a big one……and we can see most woman embracing it, testing new waters in the 40’s. It’s not rare to see these 40+ budding writes, painters, dancers, musician, marathon runners …taking on the challenge. Some have even taken it to the next level and turned into entrepreneurs.
Studies show that there are more success stories of woman excelling in the 40’s and 50’s. Again, the reason could be the freedom of choice, or the fact that they love what they do or a simple absence of the need to prove themselves to anyone!
Before you get me wrong, I want to clarify that here I am not trying to create a delusion that life is all rosy in the 40’s ( it never is meant to be at any age..) but it is certainly special …..so make the most of it…. it’s time to fall in love with yourself!