Community//

Three Important Questions to Ask Before Getting into a Relationship

Relationship. Do you have one? Would you like one? Oftentimes, people who are not currently in a relationship, make having a relationship a primary source for their happiness. They decide that if they have a romantic relationship with someone, then they can be happy and if they do not, happiness will continue to elude them. […]

The Thrive Global Community welcomes voices from many spheres. We publish pieces written by outside contributors with a wide range of opinions, which don’t necessarily reflect our own. Community stories are not commissioned by our editorial team, and though they are reviewed for adherence to our guidelines, they are submitted in their final form to our open platform. Learn more or join us as a community member!

Relationship. Do you have one? Would you like one? Oftentimes, people who are not currently in a relationship, make having a relationship a primary source for their happiness. They decide that if they have a romantic relationship with someone, then they can be happy and if they do not, happiness will continue to elude them. This point of view can stop you from having satisfaction in life.

It is important to choose happiness now, before jumping into a relationship. From that place, if a relationship is something you think you would like to pursue, here are 3 questions to ask before saying yes to a relationship:

1.    Ask, “What’s the most important thing to me?”

If you are wondering what asking what is important to you has to do with being in relationship, let me tell you. Everything! If you don’t know what matters to you, if you are not clear on what you desire for your life, you will have no way of choosing a partner that is supportive of those things.

Here are some questions you can ask:

·      What would I like my life to be like in five years? 

·      Do I want to travel? 

·      How much money do I want to make? What sort of career do I desire?

When you are clear on what’s important to you, then you can create a relationship that actually contributes to you having, doing and being all of that. How different would your relationship be if it was an addition to your life, not a replacement for your life? 

2.    Will this person be needless of me? 

Even though it’s contrary to popular belief, the people that create the most success in their relationships have no need of their partner. When you have no need of your partner, you can have gratitude. When you have need of your partner, gratitude goes away. Choosing a partner who is needless of you is key to your relationship. If you are needless you end up creating more together as you don’t have a fixed point of view of what you require from someone.

3.    Will this be fun?

Relationship is actually about creation and the continuous contribution you can be to one another. Most people get into them based on what they’ve decided relationships are all about. They’re looking for someone to complete them or make them happy. This is a fantasy that doesn’t exist. You don’t require something outside of you to be happy, and you aren’t incomplete. You are the source for your life. You can choose to be happy in every moment of every day. And, a positive relationship can make your life more fun. 

Relationships can add to the fun, joy and adventure of your life. They can also take away from it. Clarify what you desire for your life and commit to having it. Recognize that you are complete and do not need anyone and choose someone who will be needless of you as well. Don’t take things too seriously. Instead, have fun! These keys are the foundation for any successful relationship. 

Share your comments below. Please read our commenting guidelines before posting. If you have a concern about a comment, report it here.

You might also like...

Community//

Turning a Relationship into a Creationship

by Simone Milasas
Wisdom//

How to Have a Totally Different Relationship

by Dr. Dain Heer

Sign up for the Thrive Global newsletter

Will be used in accordance with our privacy policy.

Thrive Global
People look for retreats for themselves, in the country, by the coast, or in the hills . . . There is nowhere that a person can find a more peaceful and trouble-free retreat than in his own mind. . . . So constantly give yourself this retreat, and renew yourself.

- MARCUS AURELIUS

We use cookies on our site to give you the best experience possible. By continuing to browse the site, you agree to this use. For more information on how we use cookies, see our Privacy Policy.