Have you ever thought to yourself, “I need to get my head right!” Well, what does that mean exactly? It could mean it feels like you’re not living your own life. Like you’re drowning in the chaos of too much work and responsibility with no time to feel your own feelings. No space to just be.
First, you’ve got to decide what’s truly important. But, how do you figure that out?
A necessary first step is to address how you’re feeling each and every day. I know you spend a lot of time thinking about other people’s feelings. This is about you. When is the last time you thought about how you’re feeling?
I want you to write in your journal, speak into a recorder, or just spend time alone every morning. Ask yourself what you’re feeling and really listen. If you’re not used to thinking about yourself, this may take a minute! Then, determine where that feeling is in your body. If you put in the work to make this practice a habit, you’ll build trust within and it’ll become easier for you to make decisions.
The next step is to work out your true responsibilities. This isn’t about what other people want you to do, or what you have always done in the past. Chances are, you’re carrying other people’s burdens far too often. It’s especially important to do this if you have a family (kids or a spouse.) What are the real, true things that need your attention on the daily?
Now you can move on and start to release things that no longer serve you.
What people and things are you allowing in that don’t serve you? Back to thinking about you feelings again. This isn’t always easy… we often hold on to people or things because they give us comfort in some way. But, that isn’t always healthy.
So, how can you do this? How do you let go of things and people that have become a comfortable habit? Well, you’ve got to be totally honest with yourself. None of this, “Well, sometimes I feel good around Helen (but other times not so much….)” Or, “I wore that dress a few years ago.”
It’s time to let that shit go! People and things both hold energy. If it’s not being used by you in a positive way, get rid of it. If a person isn’t lifting you up and matching your energy… it’s time to move on baby! I find this to be much harder with people or things we’ve had around for a long time. Often, we tend to feel we should just put up with their behavior (perhaps because of they hold some extra comfort.) But, that couldn’t be more wrong!! I’m not saying that you have to completely cut them out of your life, but maybe you could take a few steps back. It’s all about creating healthy boundaries!
Next, it’s time to let go of fear.
I want you to turn off the TV. Instead, engage in activities that don’t include technology for the larger part of your day (not including your job.) What does watching TV have to do with fear? Well, the mainstream media is mainly good for keeping people living in a state of fear! If you’re fearful about what’s going on in the world, you’ll continually need them. They exist to program you to feel and do certain things!
My best advice? Turn it off! Social media has plenty of resources for you to be up to date with important things. Even then, if you really want to know what’s happening, go out into your community and get involved. Spend more time disconnected from your phone, too.
We’re meant to spend time outside and ground into mother earth! We’re energy just as much as we’re electricity. We need to release the electricity that we’re constantly absorbing due to all the shit we use and are constantly around! So spend 20 minutes with your shoes off and step out on the grass, dirt, or even onto concrete. See how much better you feel!
Start questioning where you might be living in a place of fear. Please feel free to use these as journal prompts. Sit with them, get still, and feel your way through.
- Where am I carrying fear in my life?
- Where do I feel fear in my body?
- Is the fear I’m feeling even mine?
Next, it helps to determine where this fear is coming from. This may take some thought. Did it come from your mom in childhood? Were you manipulated into being fearful? Really dig in here and try to figure out its source. You may discover most of your fear isn’t even yours!
Is your fear serving you in a positive and safe way? If not, can you release it? Once you have, you won’t be wearing it every day like a weight that sits on your shoulders and bogs you down. It’s okay… it’ll still be there if you need it for some reason.
Once you’re feeling safe from fear, spend even more time connecting with nature and mother earth. Get outside, find an outdoor hobby that really fills you up! Make it a priority on a regular basis!
Part 2 Saying No So You Can Say Yes.
Setting healthy boundaries in your life means you’ve got to learn to say no. By now, you understand the importance of creating boundaries. Please know that it‘s ok to say no. Anywhere, and to anyone. It’s about protecting your energy. Pay attention to your body’s signals. Learn what your visceral yes or no feels like. Take the time to learn what emotions feel like in your body.
When you hear and know what your intuition is telling you, listen! It’ll be much easier to say no when you need to. That gut feeling means you need to pay attention! Think of your gut as another brain.
Now your boundaries are set. Fear isn’t getting in your way. And, “NO!” is becoming your favorite word! Now, I want you to choose greatness!
Think about the life you truly want and desire. What does it look, feel, smell, and sound like? Take the time to write everything out. Once you’ve done that, really immerse yourself in how amazing it’s going to feel when you choose greatness and a life full of infinite possibilities!
We don’t need to follow the herd. We’re all beautiful souls living a human experience. So why not make it the most amazing one that you can!? You deserve that don’t you think?
It’s important to always question things, within yourself and in the world around you. This creates a deeper connection with yourself and the world you live in.
You’ve journaled. You’ve created a vision that’s become so real you know how greatness will feel. Now it’s time to create that greatness.
Sit with yourself and address your life and all it is. How does it make you feel? Are you in a job you hate? Do you have a passion for what you’re doing? Are you (like a lot of people) just working to make money to pay the bills? When was the last time you felt like you were truly living? Can you even remember? If you can, what did that look, feel, smell, and sound like? Really feel those feels!
When did you last feel like you were truly living in the moment? Not simply pushing through just to get to the next (hopefully better) moment, and not living in a constant state of worry or stress? Most of the time worry and stress are about things we can’t control.
The key now is to allow yourself to surrender. Please know this shouldn’t be confused with submission. We’re not talking about giving up. Surrender is a way to embrace the path the universe is sending you on. When you surrender to the experience we’re all in, and understand that you cannot control all the things, life will truly start to blossom. You’ll begin to truly live in the moment.
Now, it’s about embracing your day-to-day. You’ve turned off the tv, you’re spending more time in nature, and you’ve started reading or journaling. Being in the moment is going to be a whole lot easier. Embrace the little things you get to do every day like walking your dog, playing with your kids, or getting the mail. We’re truly fortunate just to be alive. So taking a breath is huge!
Find a gratitude practice, and begin to express gratitude for all the things in your life. Even the “bad” because there are huge lessons there for you if you choose to think of it in that way.
It’s up to each of us to learn the lessons being presented. If we don’t, they’ll only get louder and more intense. The universe and spirit, God, source… whatever you connect with, is always talking to you. Once you begin to listen – that’s when the magic happens.
Remember, there’s power in the breath, meditation, and EFT.
Mindful breathing is a great tool to slow down your nervous system and calm your mind. This is a way to stay connected to the moment and be in the present. You can release worry about the future and the connection to the past.
Daily meditation does not need to be a big thing. It can be as little as 5 minutes or as much as an hour. Find what works for you. Begin with sitting or lying in a quiet place and mindfully breathing. It can help to slowly count to 10 and then back down. Start with 5 minutes a day and work your way up each week. When you find your mind wandering, just come back to your breath.
Regular movement. Take the time to move your body, whatever that means for you! I love to dance around the house in the morning. Find what movements make you happy and begin to make them a habit!
EFT (aka tapping) is a great way to release and move energy in your body. This was the first tool that really showed me I had control over my own healing journey. It works with the energy meridians of the body, like acupuncture.
So, the path to “getting your head right” isn’t quick and easy. The rewards are amazing, though! You are so worth it!