Given everyone’s overwhelming investment in finding and cultivating love, this year it is more important than ever before to rediscover romanticism. Why? Because the old, good-fashioned showing off of affection is healthy and essential in building long-lasting relationships in 2019 and beyond.
The old type of romanticism involves doing things together, like going to see movies, eating out, strolling, shopping, and so on. What replaced all of this are video streaming on YouTube, ordering in, text messaging instead of talking, and avoiding to solve problems transparently. All of these, what I call, strategies for maintaining modern romance, need to stop and we need to go back to the good, old classics of interaction.
It is not true that people can’t find love in modern days. Because of the Internet, romanticism became kind of streamlined and the expression of affection is lagging. People have more tools to find love, which also negatively affects the interaction between people. It’s similar to kids that get homeschooled — their social skills are typically lagging behind those children who attend day school. Unless we use specific skills, we lose them. The same principles apply to exercising romanticism.
Since everything can be organized through our phones, people feel less inclined to work harder on their relationships. While this might work for some, many others might find that the quality of their relationship is far from perfect. Therefore, it is essential to go back to the basics and form meaningful and fruitful interaction with our loved one.
If you’re in a relationship, having more sexual encounters with your partner signifies continued sensation of desire. In couples’ therapy, one of the first questions therapists ask people is how often they have sex and how they feel about it. There can’t be intimacy and romanticism if we aren’t attracted to someone sexually. Sure, there are some platonic relationships out there — probably less than few thousands — where sex is of secondary importance. Otherwise, the vast majority of people are wired into desiring a sexual bond. Sexual interest is a pretty reliable gauge of any relationship’s romantic fitness. Therefore, use this foresight to build strong romantic interaction in the new year.
There are many reasons why old-fashioned romanticism is right for you. I’ll list a few: