If you’ve been following me on social media, you probably have seen that I had stopped exercising for a little bit. With all this shutdown, I hadn’t been going to the gym and so I hadn’t been able to do my usual exercise routine and it was getting to me.
So I started exercising at home. When I started exercising, my kids started joining me which is so cute and so much fun. And I love that! So I had my husband take a picture this morning because while I was working out, my son joined me and it was super cute.
I asked him to take the picture for two reasons.
For one, you know, it’s just cute! I like just keeping track of my kids, our life together.
Secondly, one of my commitments has been to be completely real on social media. There’s so much fakeness on social media, there’s so much looking perfect. So I made the decision that I am going to just post my life as it is.
So for those two reasons, I had him take a picture. As he took the picture he made a comment — he said, “Oh, but your belly is showing”. Now if you know my husband, he’s the most amazing, loving, kind person so he didn’t mean it in the way it sounds. It was more like he knew I was going to post it and he’s like, oh, you’re not looking good.
My first reaction was, this is my body. This is how it looks. There’s perfection and imperfection in everybody’s body and this is what it is.
But here is the beauty.
This is not how I would have reacted many years ago, because there was so much of me wanting to look good, wanting to be loved, wanting to really get people’s approval. That’s what was driving so much of how I lived my life.
I grew up in a culture that propagated “What will people think?” “Don’t do that!” “You will be perceived this way”. That’s just how the collective like in Indian culture is very, very focused. There was a lot of “Make sure you don’t do anything that is going to make someone else talk badly about you”.
You can see how this is a pitfall you do not want to fall into, right? It took me a long time to get over that! But I’ve kept working at it and it’s so lovely to see this place after all that time.
It’s not just about my story, though! This is a story that many people, especially women, can relate to. Our life revolves around “What will someone think about me?”
For some people, it’s conscious, but for a lot of us, it’s unconscious.
And, for every person who loves you and likes you and wants to connect with whatever you’re sharing, there will be some people who are going to have criticism, they are going to judge you and you cannot escape from that.
But it doesn’t have to rule your life.
Let me tell you why!
This is brain programming, right? We lived in a collective society for the longest time long before I took on this form. We, as the human race, we lived in a collective society.
When we live in a collective society, if someone doesn’t like you, it could actually mean your life could be at stake, that DNA is in your system, right?
That DNA gets activated. When someone judges you or says something or thinks something of you and you can feel it energetically, you start to shut down because — it’s survival! But your brain is doing that unconsciously. And we don’t have to subscribe to that anymore. We don’t live in that kind of environment anymore.
But even now, when I was doing this work, I would think, “Where did this come from?” “Why am I so terrified of my friends not liking me or this happening or that happening?” When I traced it back sometimes it would come to me, a time in a past life (if you believe in past life, if you don’t..fine, read Many Lives Many Masters if you’re curious).
But, I can trace it back to past lives where I have been ostracized for what I’ve done in the world, for how I’ve shown up. Now, that may be foreign to you — that’s okay! But you know, some of this is real. Just remember — we don’t have to subscribe to it because it’s not real right now.
So, I’ll post the picture my husband took. It is this body! If you follow me, then you know I was very sick and that body, the body that looks imperfect, produced two healthy children at the ages of 39 and 41!
Yes, that happened!
The body that was told — this body, my body — was told I could not! I was so sick for so many years. But that body has healed! That body has produced two beautiful children. That’s why I have that belly. So be it — have gratitude for that! But that’s not what I want to share with you.
What do we do when we get up in the morning and look in the mirror? We say, “Oh, I have bags under my eyes” and “Oh, I look like this, my hair is this way…” That’s when we start talking, but I read this phrase somewhere which really stood out to me, it says, “Be careful. You are listening to yourself!”.
You are listening to that inner talk. That inner talk is sabotaging you. It holds you back.
Who would you be?
Who would you be if you just didn’t care?
Who would you be if you didn’t care about what someone thought of you?
How would you show up?
How would you shine your light or dim your light?
There are some of my entrepreneurial friends who are thinking, “I can’t sell right now because what will someone think with all this COVID stuff happening?” “People will think I’m taking advantage of them!”. Who cares? If you have something to offer to the world, please offer it — right now!
So, the other piece I wanted to share with you was, how do you get over this? What do you do? The way you get over this is, just do it! Just do it and see what happens because when you face your fears, and when you just do it, things start to shift around you.
As far as, looking good — you have to decide — do you just want to look good in front of other people or do you want to be yourself? What’s more important to you, looking good or being who you are? Is it about worrying how someone will talk about you or shining your light so that you can influence other people? So you have to decide what’s important for you.
We hold ourselves back, especially women, we hold ourselves back because of this fear of what someone will think. Whoever that person is! Sometimes, we don’t even know who we are thinking about, it’s just a collective “What will people think?”, right?
What if we just let it go?
This is a time where we all need to shine our lights — it’s so important to shine our light! So please shine. Be yourself. Be yourself because that’s the best gift for the planet.
Share your thoughts with me in the comments. Share this with other people, especially someone who might need to hear this so they can shine their light too!