Introverts are wild. They are crazy. And not in some unique or different fashion, but exactly by the same definitions set forward by extroverts. Introverts are funny. They love pulling off hilarious pranks. They love going out. They love traveling. They have an exotic bucket list. And they love exploring new things.
Sorry to bust the myth, but yes, introverts do thoroughly enjoy doing these things.
So does that mean there is no such thing as introverts or extroverts? Of course there is. Then what’s the difference between the two?
In a nutshell, the basic difference is introverts need a certain comfort level to do all that which extroverts might not require.
Introverts have strong emotional defence mechanisms that are generally perceived as the person being uninterested and boring. The reality is they are not, it just takes a long time for them put their guards down and let others peek inside their world. And that is what it all boils down to.
In the larger picture, the society which has been created and which we live in has very little space for people who take time. Be it for anything, like making friends. The system functions in a manner that those people are being pushed aside and squeezed out before they could settle in.
It’s not possible to have to the same friend circle which you had in high school or grad school throughout your life. In those periods you have had time in your hand, you stuck together long enough to break those initial barriers and get over the apprehensions. Once those initial jitters are settled, out comes the bold and wild side of someone who seemed to be a very reserved person in the first look. And that long process is something which does not get perpetuated further throughout the life. An introvert is super fun when he/she is with his/her close circle of people, and the exact opposite with the rest of the world.
An introvert is a very refined form of an extrovert. They are excruciatingly selective and it’s only the people close to them which matters and to whom they open up to. And for the rest of the world they don’t even want to bother to show their presence in the first place. They just don’t care.
For the same reason, you don’t see them active on social media, uploading photos, changing status, and constantly seeking social validation. They are least interested in telling people they barely know in their social media network about what they are up to in their personal life and least bothered to know what someone had for lunch and where they went for the holidays last month.
They don’t want to meet random strangers. They don’t like making small talk. It’s too much pressure for them. They would rather sit by themselves on their own, rather than seek out for uncharted human interaction. That’s the kind of stuff they are most afraid of.
We grow meaner as we grow up. It’s a fact, and no matter how much you want to deny it, it’s true. This harsh reality makes the going a little tougher for people who already had their guards up. They start acting more carefully with people, the apprehensions grow stronger and they are even more unsure of how to express themselves. The paradox gets more complex. For an extrovert it’s easier. They are the ones who live in the moment, doing what needs to be done, carefree and uninhibited. But that isn’t the case with introverts, they think too much and that is why they miss too much.
More often than not, they are never able to reach the comfort levels which can push them to show their true wild colors. The next time you meet an introvert who politely says no to every social opportunity you offer, don’t think of them as dull people who don’t enjoy life. They are probably a bit too selective about the people whom they want to enjoy with.
Originally published at medium.com