Confidence is attained when we’re prepared and self-aware enough to appreciate who we are, faults and all. Confidence is desired in all kinds of relationships, and it’s the ingredient that colors our view of ourselves, as well as how we are perceived by society. So, it is confidence that is worth cultivating and being, in order to live in each moment of the day.
What are the values that matter most to you? I think about this consciously and I recognize that subconsciously, my values structure is the core of my decision-making. As we continue moving forward in life, we should become more shrewd and selective with how we use our time. When we do, we become more confident in who we are and have a much greater idea of what we want.
The centerpiece of most values-based structures is confidence. A major component of confidence is the value you place on yourself. Confidence is about the faith you have in your abilities, the person you are, and how you view your most important relationship — the one with yourself.
Confidence gives us the strength to pursue our romantic partner, it psyches us up to get the job or opportunity we’ve prepared and dreamed about. Confidence tells the story of who we truly are in the most authentic way possible. It is our representation of the way we want to be seen and how we want to see ourselves.
I’ve been tremendously blessed to have parents as role models who instilled confidence in me from a very early age and always told me, “The sky is the limit.” I’ve always believed that I’m destined for great things, not out of conceit, but because I believe in myself and I have the confidence to pursue building the relationships, and accomplishing the goals I desire.
I wanted to share five things that I truly believe will give you the confidence to accomplish anything you desire. Here they are:
1. Don’t pick apart every mistake or foolish thing you’ve done. Laugh at them and realize life isn’t always a “repair job” of everything you did wrong
On your path to becoming more confident, self-assured and successful, please make one promise to yourself: Stop beating yourself up over past mistakes and failures. Per Eric Barker, there’s tremendous value in being kind to yourself in an effort to build your confidence:
“In fact, one study, “Self-Compassion and Reactions to Unpleasant Self-Relevant Events: The Implications of Treating Oneself Kindly,” showed that people high in the trait had increased clarity. They saw themselves and the world more accurately but didn’t judge themselves as harshly when they failed.” Source: Eric Barker
I am the person I am because of the experiences I lived through. I don’t live with regret. I’ve learned from mistakes and failures but I’m completely at peace with all that has come and gone in my life. To the times I had fun, to the times that I suffered, it’s all good.
What about you? How do you make sense of your mistakes? How do you move on from defeat and forward to victory?
Learning about our pasts, making sense of our experiences, both good and bad, offers us a treasure trove of knowledge, wisdom and insight that will carry us throughout our lifetimes. Keep maturing, keep growing and don’t forget to laugh sometimes. Life is funnier that way.
2. You haven’t (yet) become what you thought you would. That’s OK. Accept it and make a difference.
Start with these three principles which will help you redefine your perception of yourself:
- Be happy with what you’re working on and doing. How you look is so little of what should have to do with your confidence
- Focus on the positive feedback you get and don’t harp on the negative
- It’s not about how anyone else sees you — it’s about how you see yourself
Realize that successes and failures will come and go all throughout your life. It’s what you take from BOTH experiences that truly makes a difference. A Stanford University professor did the following study that showed:
After people succeed at something, it is especially important to have them focus on what things went wrong. They learn more than if they just focus on success (so, don’t just gloat and congratulate yourself about what you did right; focus on what could go even better next time).
When failure happens, the most important thing is to have an after event review to provoke sufficiently deep thinking — whether you talk about successes or failures is less important.
3. Surround yourself with one inspirational story every day
If you want to build confidence, you have to find inspiration and motivation every day. I hope you’re able to find it in an article like this and other great articles here on Personal Growth. We all need something to lift our spirits that will positively influence our thoughts and lead us to greater confidence and belief.
For example, let the people close to you know that you love them — this reciprocal relationship of love and confidence engenders belief in self and one another. It inspires us to do great things for others.
There’s a reason why some of the world’s most successful people begin their days with an inspirational story. It fires up their imagination and emboldens them to continue forward with ambitious plans for success. When you’re more inspired, you’re more confident. You believe anything is possible.
4. Keep a Mental Journal
Sure, written journals are important. But what about the dialogue we play back to ourselves from our own inner voice? The power of speaking positively to ourselves — and finding the positive in our experiences will elevate us to a higher, more encouraging mental plain. So what do I mean by keeping a mental journal?
When you make out your daily and weekly schedule, have a reminder for yourself literally every hour. Remind yourself to speak positively over your life. To take a break from whatever you’re doing and tell yourself that you’re giving your best, focusing on the moment and future with optimism, faith and confidence. We become what we say and do, but one of the hidden factors of success is our ability to manifest positive thought encouragement to ourselves through the power of autosuggestion.
5. Plan to Celebrate. Celebrate Your Wins
Create a moment. Cultivate the circumstances that surround the end of your journey, which is when you get to enjoy the victory. Whatever you’re working for, focus on the journey. But have the victory parade in sight. We all need something to look forward to and while we shouldn’t dwell too long in the past, it’s imperative that we celebrate our accomplishments.
This provides a sense of closure and helps lead to a breakthrough on our next step to becoming an even more confident person.
Bill Carmody, a successful CEO says the following:
“When you celebrate, endorphins are released inside your body and you feel incredible. When you accomplish something and don’t take the time to celebrate, you are robbing yourself of an important feeling that reinforces your success. Celebrating your wins not only feels great physically, but it reinforces the behavior you want to show up when you face a new challenge or opportunity.”
Keep going on your journey and take chances to keep building up your confidence. You’ll find this powerful spirit re-energize and supercharge your human engine, leading you to awesome new opportunities.
You Can Do This
I’m helping thousands of people each day build their life on values and put together their personal game plan. Join me! Check out The Value of You, my Amazon bestseller. The e-book is available for a limited time for just $2.99! Order the e-book HERE!
Originally published at medium.com