Asking Yourself These 3 Questions Will Get You Through Any Moral Dilemma

Sometimes our natural moral compass fails us. A new study gives us a failsafe method for figuring out what to do next.

 japatino / Getty Images

Morality can seem simple: truth is good, lies are bad; peace is good, violence is bad. We typically rely on certain dichotomies.

But not always. For example, sometimes we lie to protect someone’s feelings, and it may feel right. Suddenly, morality doesn’t look so simple.

In difficult cases where our habitual dichotomies don’t seem to fit, we fall back on an intuitive moral understanding that parses the stakes, and leaves us with a justified course of action. But sometimes that intuitive understanding doesn’t land on a clear moral winner. We can’t figure out what’s right.

New research will help when those moments of confusion arrive: A study published in the journal PLOS One reveals that even the most difficult moral judgment calls can be made by asking the same three questions. These are the questions we often intuitively ask ourselves, but by putting them into words and clarifying the amount of weight we need to give each answer based on the stakes of the moral dilemma, the study gives us a step-by-step guide for figuring out what’s right.

1 – Consider the agent

The agent, according to the study, is the character or intent of the person who is doing something. The study found this was the least important factor in determining the appropriate moral response to a situation, regardless of how high the stakes are. So, start with this question to get your bearings for how to approach the next two questions, but don’t get hung up on the motivations behind your dilemma.

2 – Examine the deed

By that, we mean think about the action in question, whether that’s lying, stealing or shirking a responsibility. According to the study, in situations where the stakes of your moral dilemma are low — for example, your coworker might be briefly annoyed or embarrassed that you admitted she did indeed have something in her teeth, but she won’t be deeply affected — your response to this question is the most important part of determining the moral course of action. But to make sure the stakes are in fact low, it’s important that you consider the third question, as well.

3 – Weigh the consequences

If the moral question you are weighing has high stakes, then the consequences of your action are the most significant part of determining morality, according to the study. So if telling your very sensitive coworker about the food in her teeth will affect her strongly, or if you’re deciding whether to lie to your partner about a problem in your relationship, then determine the consequences of your choice and weigh those more heavily than the first two questions in choosing what to do. All three questions should get an answer, but if your course of action has the potential to hurt someone (or to hurt you), consequences have the final word.

Follow us on Facebook for all the latest news on how you can keep Thriving.

More from Thrive Global:

8 Things You Should Do After 8 P.M. If You Want to Be Happy and Successful

The One Relationship You’re Probably Ignoring

The One Word That Can Hurt Your Reputation at Work

Share your comments below. Please read our commenting guidelines before posting. If you have a concern about a comment, report it here.

You might also like...


Machine Morality: an ethicist, a computer scientist, and a neuroscientist look into building human morality into an AI machine

by Richard Sergay, Tavia Gilbert
Pla2na / Shutterstock

How to Trick Your Mind into Making Fair Decisions

by Jill Suttie, Psy.D.

The Value of Religion, Spirituality, and Meaning In Young Adults Today

by Tyler J. Fahey
We use cookies on our site to give you the best experience possible. By continuing to browse the site, you agree to this use. For more information on how we use cookies, see our Privacy Policy.