“There are two energies that bring true happiness; Desire for growth and contentment with what is” With Author Rachael Jayne Groover and Dr. Marina Kostina

There are two energies that bring true happiness. Desire for growth and contentment with what is. The American culture is all about Desire and not about contentment. When you have desire without contentment you have an individual that can never be truly happy. The over-drive for desire turns into never satisfied and so they are […]

There are two energies that bring true happiness. Desire for growth and contentment with what is. The American culture is all about Desire and not about contentment. When you have desire without contentment you have an individual that can never be truly happy. The over-drive for desire turns into never satisfied and so they are always seeking for more and grasping onto what they have.

I had the pleasure of interviewing Rachael Jayne Groover. She is the author of the best-selling books “Powerful and Feminine: How to Increase your Magnetic Presence and Attract the Attention You Want” and “Divine Breadcrumbs: A Search for True Love and Enlightenment.” She is the creator of The Art of Feminine Presence classes and trainings that are offered worldwide, by herself and over 300 certified teachers working with her. She runs an international seminar company and travels the world teaching presence, conscious feminine leadership, business, and spiritual development.

Thank you so much for doing this with us! Can you tell us a story about what brought you to this specific career path?

I’ve always been fascinated with why certain people walk into a room with a magnetic presence, and others seem invisible and don’t get noticed. And, why when certain people get up on stage or record a video, they have a magnetic presence that makes it almost impossible to look away, while others simply disappear into the background.

I was fascinated because I wanted to be that person.

I wanted to be seen and heard and have a huge impact, which is ironic because in my core, I consider myself shy and introverted.

I experienced a push-pull between wanting to be seen and staying invisible.

Can you relate?

Before I built my company, I was living in Australia singing full time — mostly in the type of dodgy bars you don’t want your parents to know about. Every night I would sing my heart out, giving the impression that I was ‘living the dream,’ but behind the scenes things were not so great.

I was unhappy.

I was twice the size I am now.

I felt sick from nerves every time I went on stage.

I was a single hopeless romantic who wanted a meaningful relationship, yet only seem to attract a string of losers.

To top it off — I was making very little money.

In my dream of dreams, I wanted to inspire people.

I wanted to sing with presence and speak with presence. But despite how hard I tried I couldn’t put myself out there in a powerful way and commit myself to success (I’ll admit that part of this was due to the culture of Australia, which invites you to play down your accomplishments and remain modest).

I moved to America, the land where modesty is not a virtue. And it was while here, I decided to focus less on being a singer, and more on working with people in the personal growth industry.

At first it was exciting. I met an endless group of coaches who told clients, “just do what you love and the money would follow.” I thought it was brilliant. Until I realized it wasn’t true. In fact, by doing what I loved, the money didn’t follow…as I’m sad to report that for the first 2 years living in America I made around $350 a month.

My business wasn’t working. My career wasn’t working. My love life was DEFINITELY not working. I was still single, but now I was living in a small hippie-spiritual-tourist town, so all I was attracting a string of SNAGS — Sensitive New Age Guys (Side note: that story ends well as in due time I met the love of my life, my amazing business partner, best friend, and husband, Datta Groover).

If you’re wondering why I’m sharing all of this, it’s that I want to make it clear that success in business is not a matter of smarts, hard work, or some magical lucky break. It’s something much simpler and much more powerful.

It was this concept of presence. It was the way that some people show up wherever they are that exudes, confidence, inspiration, and an undefinable ‘it factor’ that makes them appear magnetic.

• They are the people who you can’t take your eyes off of.

• They are the coaches you want to hire without even fully knowing why.

• They are the ones who make sales look effortless because of their ability to command the attention of anyone in the room.

6 Years ago, I made a commitment to master presence — on stage, on video, when being with someone, and for my own spiritual awakening. What has happened since then has been incredible.

– My videos get passed along where they weren’t before. People have invited me to different countries to share this work just from watching my videos.

– I get to speak on some of the biggest stages in the industry

– My husband Datta and I now have a multi-million dollar per year business, traveling the world teaching presence, speaking, leadership, and business strategy to people who want to make a difference on this planet with their message

The big takeaway I want for you is this:

Presence precedes strategies. If you don’t have presence and powerful delivery, at least 90% of the strategies you learn will fall flat, because no one will be paying attention to you.

I want to repeat to you something I said earlier:

The most valuable currency in business is attention.

. . . attention is earned through presence.

The best part? Presence isn’t something people are born with. It is a skill that can be developed through a dedication to personal and spiritual transformation and a willingness to confront and conquer your personal fears, all combined with a deep understanding of marketing and messaging.

What does it mean for you to live “on purpose”? Can you explain? How can one achieve that?

I believe that we receive our purpose. It’s something that the higher part of us wants to express and the more and more we let our protective personality out of the way (some may call that our ego) we receive more and more of our purpose. When I am living on purpose I feel a great deal of surrender and receptivity and I listen very closely to the impulse of my heart. Was it is that I am desiring and what will bring me lasting joy and happiness. Of course action is required to live on purpose too. It’s not just important to wake up to your potential, but to show up and make that a reality for you and the world. I am a big believer that you need to be good at several human developmental areas to truly live on purpose. These include, but not limited to, spiritual awakening, knowing your patterns of attention which run you and keep you stuck or feeling like you have the brakes on, skill at your craft, and the ability to live in potential and not limits. It takes decades to perfect all of these and well worth the effort. Skill and self-discipline equals freedom.

Do you have an example or story in your own life of how your pain helped to guide you to finding your life’s purpose?

Yes, I suffered a serious back injury in 2006 and was in chronic pain for more than 2 years. I couldn’t sit or stand or sleep for very long. It was a horrific experience to go through, but out of it came one of my biggest breakthroughs in my own search for true love and enlightenment. I was trying all sorts of things to get better. Nothing was working. I would feel a little relief and then things would snap back into the excruciating pain that kept me prisoner. I share this story in greater depth in my book “Divine Breadcrumbs” as it did have a powerful effect on my life’s purpose. 
It didn’t matter if I had a good week or bad. Every time I felt pain, it sent the message to my brain that I was not getting better. I found myself telling others I wasn’t healing and asking the question, “Why am I not healing?” even though I did experience improvement, finally. I did not yet understand that these thoughts were maintaining the pattern of not healing. My dominant thoughts were in the realm of, This is hell, or When will this end? or I am hurting, or I am depressed and can’t get out of this mess. My attention was constantly focused on what I didn’t want. I would say that I wanted healing, but I couldn’t access the feeling of being healed. I was stuck in the situation versus realizing the ability to access my potential future. I understood in concept that the release of pain begins to happen when internal stillness and acceptance is achieved. Only in a state of non-resistance could I advance to a new reality, yet I was nowhere near perceiving this wisdom.
On my 237th visit to the chiropractor (yes, I kept count), I lay on the adjusting table and looked up at compassionate and wise Dr. Welch. It was a dark day following yet another agonizing setback. He stopped his treatment and looked at me with kind eyes. In a soft voice he said, “It may be time to consider surgery.”
Tears welled up and my head started to shake. No, no. What are you saying? I said to myself. All sorts of fearful thoughts took over. 
I don’t have health insurance in this country. If I had surgery, I would have to fly all the way back to Australia for the procedure and I’d be away from Datta and my closest friends for a long time. I couldn’t afford to take another year to recover from surgery. 
I had already spent two years in hell. Dr. Welch took the chair beside me and said, “Just mull over the possibility. If it gives you your life back, it’s worth considering.” 
The intensity of my inner reaction was the clear signal I was in deep resistance to the pain that was happening to me. I have always believed in the saying, “What you resist persists,” but never had I heard those words so clearly as on the trip home from Dr. Welch. 
For the next week, I spent many hours in prayer and contemplation, asking myself, Would I be okay if I were in chronic pain for the rest of my life? Would I be okay if nothing ever changed? I knew I had to find a way to look at my situation with new eyes if I was going to be able to let go of the fear and resistance that had such a hold on me. I played various scenes of possibilities on the screen of my imagination. I could use voice-recognition software that would take dictation, which would save me from sitting at my desk too long. I could teach more of the workshops I was starting in tele-seminar format rather than in person. And even though my social life would look different, I imagined holding great parties at home so my friends could come to me rather than me go to them. 
I prayed for the strength and courage to know that I could face anything life threw at me, and I gave up my mental and emotional struggle with my back. I gave up resistance. I allowed myself to become okay with the pain. It didn’t happen overnight, but within a few days I started to feel my body and heart soften as I heard my own soothing answer: Yes, I would be okay. If nothing ever changed, I could still live a happy life and do my work in the world. I would find a way. Within a few weeks after that, without surgery, I was almost completely pain free. It was a miracle. A miracle because of the physical change, and a miracle because the experience of letting go of control had a profound spiritual impact on my life.

The United States is currently rated at #18 in the World Happiness Report. Can you share a few reasons why you think the ranking is so low?

There are two energies that bring true happiness. Desire for growth and contentment with what is. The American culture is all about Desire and not about contentment. When you have desire without contentment you have an individual that can never be truly happy. The over-drive for desire turns into never satisfied and so they are always seeking for more and grasping onto what they have.

How have you used your success to bring goodness to the world?

I feel my soul has always beckoned me towards self-realization and to do my own Shadow Work. Being committed to this process along with mastering presence that I mentioned earlier, great opportunities and abundance has opened up and so now all my work is to help others come to the love, happiness, freedom that I live with each day. Our company also is proud to be a supporter of the Fistula Foundation and V-Day.

What are your 6 strategies to help you face your day with exuberance, “Joie De Vivre” and a “ravenous thirst for life”? Can you please give a story or example for each?

My morning ritual includes 6 things, and except if I am in long days of training here’s how it goes. I spend the first 2 hours of everyday by myself and for myself. It includes 
1) Meditation
2) Writing from the “Divine Author Within” state on questions and answers that help me receive more guidance.
3) Exercise to get my heart rate up and blood pumping
4) Making a warm breakfast of steamed veggies, olive oil, herbs and nutritional yeast
5) Sharing this breakfast with my husband as we share what we are most grateful
6) Visualizing how I want to show up in my day no matter what occurs.

Do you have any favorite books, podcasts, or resources that most inspired you the most to live with a thirst for life?

Some of my favorite books that have turned into lifelong resources for me:
The Enneagram — Helen Palmer. 
Integral Spirituality and Integral Psychology by Ken Wilber
In Business I love Traction by Gino Wickman and Blue Ocean Strategy
Intimate Communion — David Dieda
The Enlightenment Process — Judith Blackstone
Anatomy of the Spirit — Carolyn Myss

Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote” that relates to having a Joie De Vivre? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?

“I live in the mystery. I release the need to control my future.”

Life is the mystery. We can never know what tomorrow will bring. Letting go of control can be both scary and exhilarating. It’s like being on a trapeze, ready to swing. Just before you are about to release your grip, you know there will be a moment after you let go when you cannot see the other person there to catch you — you’ll be flying, with no idea whether you’ll fall and injure yourself or be caught.

Are you working on any exciting new projects now? How do you think that will help people?

Yes, I am working on my third book which shares what happened and during a very deep and expansive spiritual experience that I had, and always working on making the Art of Feminine Presence trainings that I lead all over the world even more impactful for the women that attend. It’s for women who are ready to wake up, grow up and show up!

You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂

I’m very honored to have had the 44 practices and the Meditation taught in Art of Feminine Presence inspire a movement of now tens of thousands of women around the world. It is essentially based on this principle: That women feel safe to be seen and heard and they inspire change in this world, while still being able to stay in their feminine essence and not feel like they have to be like men to succeed. These women don’t only want material success and impact, but they see spiritually awakening as their primary intention.

Thanks for these great interview questions and for this opportunity.

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