I’m checking back in from my previous post on Trust Issues and Therapy. I felt the need to continue from were I left off with a little more insight on how I address my wellness journey as I also look forward to finding a compatible therapist to walk with me on this journey.
One thing I wanted to point out is that almost every type of trust issue or paranoia we experience in life comes from a place of knowing.
A place of intelligence on that particular trauma.
When you know what it feels like to be taken advantage of, abused, or misled by both strangers, family and friends for example, you may find yourself seeing everyone else in that same unflattering light.
You become more cautious, less authentic, judgmental, even paranoid. All for the sake of protecting yourself from what you think might happen if you let down your guard.
Why? Because you know too much.
You know too much about what it feels like. You’ve held on to that memory for so long that now you have triggers that recall that experience and it seems out of your control.
It’s like watching a bad movie play over and over again on it’s own but you don’t have the remote control to shut it off. It’s a helpless feeling. The first thing you’ll want to do is go into victim mode and feel sorry for yourself.
Don’t. There’s no healing there.
Instead, do the work to get the remote control back. This will require a lot of transparency and vulnerability on your part. You have to approach healing from a place of honesty. With yourself and your therapist.
These are some of the steps I take to do the work needed to heal and thrive –
In the last post I stated I would only have one session and quit on the therapist. Well, I’ve discovered therapy is just like any other practice you take on in life – it requires consistency. It takes more than one exercise session to lose the unwanted fat – you’ve got to keep going without ceasing. Once you stop, you loose momentum. You end up backsliding and finding yourself right back were you started. There’s no instant gratification when it comes to healing either.
It’s an ongoing process that requires your commitment and discipline. You fell down 20 times you say? Well, get the fuck up 20 more times then! Consistency is the goal, not perfection. Whatever path you’ve chosen to facilitate your well being, do it without ceasing.
If it’s Prayer, pray without ceasing. If it’s a therapist, go to all your sessions. If it’s writing in your journal, journal with consistency.
The beach is my happy place. I make more time to visit the beach and surround myself with visuals that trigger that happy memory.
More of the good things will eventually overwhelm the bad.
Your trauma came from a place of knowing and so therefore must your healing. Once you start paying attention to your triggers, you will learn how to harness the power to control and also quiet them. Awareness is your remote control. Don’t willingly give it up to others to manipulate.
Be mindful of how you react to your environment, people, and certain situations. You will in time begin to gain awareness on all the things that trigger your unwanted reactions. Once you’ve identified them, strive to pay close attention to your reactions. I remember watching the Marvel movie “Dr Strange” and heard the ancient one say – “we never lose our demons, we only learn to live above them”.
In all honesty, I believe the better you get to know yourself, the better chance you and your therapist can customize a healing plan that works best for you.
Keeping a record of your day to day living not only encourages transparency, but also highlights your growth. I can look back at my journal from last year and see where I’ve grown past certain behaviors and also areas where I’ve been stuck on constant repeat. It’s hard to not notice where you need to change and the things you need to do more of when you look back at your documented life. Writing in a journal (private or public) is a great way to track your habits and wellness and make improvements along the way.
Almost a month ago, I took on a 15 Day Wellness Challenge on a whim following the post of @coachmarianat on facebook. The goal was to consciously add one healthy habit a day into your lifestyle. By tracking my healthy habits each day via posts on Instagram, (journaling in a sense…)I was able to stay more consistent with healthy habits that caused me to thrive and the “instaworld” was my accountability partner. I won the challenge by the way – a month of Yoga classes at Grey Owl Mind Body Studio! I can’t wait to start exploring yoga and all the wellness benefits it can bring into my life.
I’m no expert at doing life ladies and gentlemen but I love a peaceful and healthy lifestyle because of what it does for me spiritually, physically, and mentally. So as long as I’m here, I’ll keep investing in the journey to wellness. I hope you all do the same as well. You are capable of making changes to impact your life in a positive way and most importantly you don’t have to do it alone. I encourage you take the time to explore ways in which you can change your mindset from simply surviving to thriving. It all starts with one healthy habit a day.
Cheers to Wellness!