Mahvash Mossaed

Some days are completely white, white as a blank piece of paper, white as a brand new canvas. You can draw just about anything on it for that day. You can decide to be overjoyed or miserable. You can decide to be religious or atheist. You can be an optimist or a pessimist for that whole day; it’s all up to you.

A white day is when you think of yourself as a voyager searching for a new world. You make a map of where you want to go in your life, put the map in your pocket, and take the stairs down out of your building, rather than taking the elevator.

You can go walking in the crowded streets amongst the people who walk around hungrily and are in a great hurry to swallow life — so much of it too — all at once. They are in a hurry to grasp as much of life as they can, take it home, and hide it in their closets. They are in a hurry to grasp so much of it that they wouldn’t even know what to do with it. They would have to deposit the unused portion of it in their bank accounts — the people who are all around you, the people who are all walking around in a hurry, walking and dreaming and swallowing life in big gulps. Some of them do not even realize that it’s not really important how much you consume and who you are, what you have achieved, how much you know, or what you own. It’s all about the magic that you create around you, the magic that you transfer to other people — that’s what really counts. 

Happiness has nothing to do with money, achievements, or fame. Maybe it is true that we come to this world with our destiny already preplanned for us. It is important that we learn to let go of everything that does not quite fit into the frame of our destiny rather than continue to push and force it to fit in.

It is important knowing that sometimes, according to the map of our destiny, a relationship has to end, even though at the time you cannot believe or accept it, and even though at the time you try hard to relive it or continue with it in some form. Nevertheless, you have to try to acknowledge the death of that relationship. You would have to do your sobbing, you would have to do your mourning, then you would have to go on with your life. In any other way, it would be as though you stand at the door of that already dead relationship, you knock and knock and knock, and no one will ever answer on the other end. The fact is no one lives there any more. They have long since moved out, and all there is behind that door is an empty room, which is entirely vacant.  Maybe there might be some garbage left or some scraps of paper, but that is all nothing. No person is behind that door, and they will never move back there either.  You have to recognize where and when would be a good ending to your story, when is the right time to close the book and let go and put the book away.

Some days are completely white — stark white — clean, bright, and beautiful. You are alive, healthy, happy, and you have hope on your side. You are self assured, confident. You feel that you don’t need to try to get approval, or you don’t have to try to get love from everyone. You know you can’t be loved by everyone, everyone can’t approve of you. So it is best if you just try to get your own approval. On a day like this, you don’t let anyone tell you what your dreams or goals should be. You don’t let anyone evaluate your accomplishments, no matter how small or how big. If you are satisfied, then you are a winner. You don’t let any one distract you no matter how loving they are in your life. You want to stay on your own path because the truth is sometimes even people who love you can distract you from what is right for your life. 

In such a white, clean, clear day like this, you think to yourself, How imperfect life is. Then you think again, Maybe life is perfect being imperfect. When you think of it, even imperfect people with flaws are much more interesting than people who are perfect. You say to yourself, Now, that’s a relief. And you decide to leave it at that. After all, the truth is that you, yourself, are not striving for perfection; you are just striving to be you, in a stark white clean and clear day as today.

Author(s)

  • Mahvash Mossaed is an award-winning filmmaker, published author, gallery owner, and internationally exhibited artist.
    Based in California. Works exhibited in Europe, Asia, Africa, and extensively in the United States · Latest Exhibition at American Visionary Art Museum in Maryland · Featured inside and on the covers of over 45 books · Works collected by Bijan & Steven Spielberg · Featured on NBC News · Award-Winning Filmmaker at the New York Independent Film & Video Festival (Best Cultural Documentary & Best Director) · Published Poet (My Painted Dreams & A Woman Defined)