Community//

The Unappreciation Blues: How to Stave off Being Overlooked and Undervalued

You are worthy and deserve appreciation—here’s how to get it.

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Pexels: Ketut Subiyanto

Have you ever felt like the world was utterly against you? Nothing you can say or do we’ll make things okay? It seems like the universe is bombarding you with problem after problem. A blanket of “Coulda, Woulda, Shouldas” weighs you down like an avalanche of criticism.

It may be a friend who expects you to be at her beck and call— you give answers to all of her problems and she never reciprocates —then complains that your advice doesn’t help.

Or maybe a boss who focuses on the one mistake you made but doesn’t acknowledge the vast productivity you bring to the company.

Does your husband come home from work and only notices the messy house and not the kids that are schooled, fed, and bathed?

You are not alone. Most of us have experienced times of great stress or periods of feeling worthlessness, sadness, being unappreciated, and just feeling down in the dumps. 

Here are five tips to reclaim your worth and just take care of appreciating yourself.

Take inventory.

  • Keep a journal of your high-fives, accomplishments, and your wins. When you are feeling awesome—write it down.
  •  Use motivating and adjectives that describe your achievements when jotting down your deeds.
  • Give yourself kudos for a job well done. Don’t be afraid to pat yourself on the back. 

Do unto others.

  • Check your attitude. Don’t be a magnet for negative energy.  If you put out an air of positivity, you might find that people will have a hard time being ungrateful, overbearing, or just plain rude.
  • Kill them with kindness. Take your griping boss out for a nice lunch.  Point out his/her attributes that you appreciate. Put a thoughtful card on her desk. 
  • Sing praises to others when they do a job well. Dish out compliments you would like to hear.

Take care of yourself.

Who can love you more than you? So treat yourself like the Queen/King you are.  There is only one you so pamper yourself.  You deserve it!

  • The number one go-to that will take you out of your feelings is a luxurious bubble bath with all of the accouterments: fragrant oils, candles, music, the whole nine yards. LOCK THE DOOR!
  • Go shopping.  Take that hard-earned money and buy yourself a gift. No one needs a new blouse or a cute pair of shoes more than the bummed out you. 
  • Send yourself a bouquet of fresh flowers. Don’t wait for someone to send them to you.

Learn the word NO!

The word NO comes easy for some and not so easy for others.  This two-lettered word can turn into your ally and change your strategy for life.  Mastering this technique is vital to your well-being.  

When answering a yes/no question, give yourself a moment to think about why you want to answer no.  Allow yourself an uncomfortable silence before spewing a yes. Saying no does not make you a brutal or uncaring person.  You may find that people will respect you more when you take control of what you want.  It takes practice, but you will feel your stress levels decreasing every time.

Let people know how you feel.

There is an old saying, “A closed mouth never gets fed.” If you don’t open up to people and let them know that you feel unappreciated or underrated, they may be clueless about your sensitivities.

You may tell your spouse you realize the house is untidy, but you DID homeschool the children, fed them three whole meals, bathed them, and put them in bed. 

It’s okay to defend your position. State your facts, and don’t be afraid of self-promotion. 

If you have tried these tips and still sense critiques and censures—go to bed—get some sleep—and brush it off as a crummy day. If a new day arrives—be thankful and don’t be hard on yourself. 

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