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The Tao of the Emotionally Unavailable

When Love Becomes a Four Lettered Word

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Image by David Senior from Pixabay

We’ve all been there. We think we’ve found our nirvana, the holy grail, the “one”, but suddenly things go south, they become distant or ghost you altogether, and we’re left wondering what happened.

Can an emotionally unavailable man truly fall in love?
Here are the many reasons why they can’t, and why it isn’t you.

Often they have built so many barriers that they keep falling into the same pattern. They may make an attempt to let you in, just a little, they will be open, and kind, but, something inside of them just shuts down, it is automatic, and they will do it again and again, often not even realizing it. The need to protect, the need to control what one shares, will always take over. They will either reject love completely, or only allow themselves to invest in half-assed relationships, or they will dabble, like a person afraid to jump in the pool because the water is too cold, dipping a toe in, then maybe a foot, but hastily drawing back.

Don’t you wish they would wear a button, with a flashing red light that reads “Danger, proceed at your own risk, if you catch feelings for me, I’ll disappear. May cause feelings of inadequacy, and nausea, vomiting and…”

It comes down to the ability to not be able to fully trust. They have experienced something that has happened to them time and again, so they lose the ability to be able to give of themselves again. You cannot change that. Read that again; we as women want to fix things, to nurture, to hold something in our hands and watch it grow. We cannot.

The man needs to want to reach out, needs to reconcile his heart, needs to learn to let go. Until he is able to, he will not be able to love anyone, not even himself, because he is not his true self. He is not complete in heart nor spirit.

What to do-

From a spiritual standpoint, it takes love, patience, helping him to find his truth. Your words must always be honest and uplifting. Your actions must show him that you can be trusted. You must be willing to love him to his knees and let the universe fill in the rest. If he will let you. (by that, I mean show him by example). If you want love, simply be love. I have no qualms about it, I’m a praying woman, but I’ll leave that part up to you.

This is someone scarred by life. Sometimes, there is healing. Sometimes, you just have to walk away and hope that they find themselves and realize that they rejected the one true thing in their life. Often when they have a love like that, it scares the hell out of them, even though they want to be loved unconditionally, they are afraid of receiving because all they have ever had was someone taking from them.

Don’t leave the light on Princess, or do, and try to be the one who illuminates someone’s heart and shows them it’s okay to let go again.

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