What is a key ingredient to making a relationship really juicy and healthy?
Answer: Love yourself first.
Yup, it really comes down to accepting yourself, admiring yourself; LOVING yourself first. If you don’t love yourself the amount of love you have for your significant other, your job, your friends etc. will not as strong as it could be.
Know and understand that you rock.
Does it sound easier said than done?
Imagine feeling good in your own skin, owning your talents and skills and essentially who you are as you are. It isn’t vain, selfish or thinking you’re better than everyone else.
Nobody is perfect, not me, not you, not the person you admire the most. We all have weaknesses and we all have strengths too. Embrace it all and be happy to be you.
Focus on your strengths and avoid getting stuck in your perceived flaws – judging what you don’t like about yourself.
You could be thinking you’re too short, too tall, too fat, too thin, not smart enough, too boring, too serious, too shy or too talkative.
Negative self-talk and being hard on yourself doesn’t get you anywhere. Catch yourself when you’re going down that dark, nasty path.
Realize it’s more about perception and how we define things or how others have taught us to define, rate and value things in our life.
I worked on Dove’s campaign for real beauty back during my corporate career and I found it so devastating when we did a study on women and at the time only 2% of women considered themselves beautiful.
Yet I could identify with the remaining 98% of women who didn’t think they were beautiful. I certainly didn’t love myself back then but I committed to turning that around.
It took a total mindset shift from stomping out negative thoughts to thinking about what I could love about myself and what act of love I could do for myself.
It came down to better self-care. I started doing things that were good for me and my body like saying no to things that would have stretched me too thin. I chose foods that were healthier for me like more vegetables especially fennel (it’s my all-time favorite, love it with olive oil). I stopped reaching out for that pint of Ben and Jerry’s I’d be spooning into when I felt bad. I thought it would make me feel better but I’d always end up crashing and feeling tired and cranky afterwards.
So now it’s your turn. Think about what you love about yourself even if at first it feels hard. What have people complimented you on? What are you good at?
Identify one thing. Is it your hair? Your eyes? Or maybe your honesty, authenticity, warmth, courage, generosity, kindness or compassion? That’s beautiful.
Give yourself credit for being an amazing person and focus on the good in you.
Let it out and let it shine. You are an amazing person no matter what you may think or compare yourself to.
Now I would love to hear from you. What do you love about yourself? And what self-care will you commit to doing for yourself?
Originally published at kirsibhasin.com