“The most important single ingredient in the formula of success is knowing how to get along with people.”
I’ve got to keep this somewhat short today as I’m headed to a Go-Kart Track (ironically) for a little bachelor party for a wedding I’m attending later this week.
The road to success is actually at an intersection. An intersection of 2 groups that you must find.
Let me explain.
We hear a lot of bloggers and life coaches talk about providing value, helping others, and finding your value if you want to attain success. That’s all fine (and true) but as we read it all, it can be a bit much for our brain to register. It all seems like great advice but it’s hard for us to put it into practice. We might think ok I want to build a business, so where do I begin.
Here’s where you begin. An essential framework for you to see to help you start manifesting your dreams, ambitions, and goals.
There’s 2 Essential Groups that determine everything. It’s right out in the open yet I find very few people talk specifically about this.
What you must know above all else is that these 2 groups are gold. They will help you be what you want to be in whatever business you want to be in.
First off, before we get to them I find that they are not talked about because a BIG important word keeps many people from listening to and / or talking to these groups.
Imagine you’re in a hotel lobby and there’s two grand ballrooms filled with a significant crowd of helpers all ready and willing to help you. One group in each room.
Fact of the matter is most people don’t want to be helped. They decline. They don’t invite the folks out into the lobby. In fact they exit the lobby and don’t go into either ballroom to talk to these people. It’s true.
Pride is nasty. The reason it is nasty is it whispers in to the ears of many and tells them NOT to talk to the groups. That they can do it on their own and don’t need these groups.
I’ve got news for you and pride.
You need these groups.
So without further adieu lets get to it.
Group 1: The Experts That Will Work For You
“Start with good people, lay out the rules, communicate with your employees, motivate them and reward them. If you do all these things effectively, you can’t miss.”
Group 1 is the people that are great at what they do. It could be editing, accounting, construction, teaching, writing, motivating, butterfly catching or an array of other skilled tasks that they’re great at.
You MUST find these people and most importantly you must TRUST them for being good at what they do. We have experts for a reason.
And it goes beyond finding and trusting them. Once you’ve done that you must become great at DELEGATING.
One of the most underrated skills in the world is the ability to see talented or potentially talented people and bring out the best in them.
It’s a special form of delegating.
I call it…
A Prospect Delegator
Find amazing prospects. Help them be the best they can be and in turn they will help you. It is win / win. We need more people who are great at Prospect delegating. A large array of CEO’s and celebrities are incredible prospect delegators including Oprah Winfrey, Donald Trump, Richard Branson, Elon Musk, and Arianna Huffington among many others.
You must find this group of people and you must develop your Prospect Delegating skills. It will lead to great longterm success for you.
Group 2: The Professionals That You Aspire To Be
“You don’t build a business. You build people. And then people build the business.”
The other group that pride (ugh) keeps us from is watching, observing, and learning from the experts in our field. Believe it or not pride takes a major toll on many people. They don’t like to watch others succeed. Even professionals who inspire them!
Hard to believe right?
If you want to be a professional snow skier it probably couldn’t hurt you to watch some of the best in the world.
If you want to be a great chef I’d be googling and youtubing Martha Stewart and Wolfgang puck.
But many people don’t want to do this! They want to do it all on their own.
They want to go on uploading meaningless blather to social media thinking that Wolfgang Puck will show up at their door and declare them king or queen of all Cutting of the cutting board.
Life doesn’t work that way folks.
Well for 1 in a million maybe.
But that’s not great odds.
So my term for what u must become in regards to this group is…
You must become a Humble Learner of the professionals. Take notes. Record their audio. Memorize their video. Dance in the rain while singing their song. Do whatever it takes to learn from them. They have achieved success in the field you want.
If you want to become a golfer, watch Tiger Woods.
If you want to be a lawyer watch some videos on expert trial lawyers.
If you want to be Babe Ruth, WATCH Babe Ruth.
Is it any coincidence that many professional baseball players kids grow up and become… professional baseball players? Imagine that. Yes genetics play a role but I have a sneaking suspicion the even bigger factor is the fact they were around the major league baseball field regularly and consistently from a young age shagging fly balls.
They developed a presence for the professional baseball field, the game, the clubhouse, the skills, and the environment,
Brilliant entrepreneur Tony Robbins says “Where focus goes, energy flows.”
Holy crap is that true or what.
Speaking of which, I cannot believe the amount of struggling actors and actresses in this town who refuse to do background, stand-in, or photo double work. Most don’t because they think it’s beneath them.
It like seriously throws me into withdrawal hearing this. I can’t take it. I run outside and run up the street. I yell at the hills. The Hollywood Hills. I can’t handle it.
Sure it’s not ideal work for the struggling artist, but it’s how. you. learn.
It gives you a PRESENCE. Being on a film or tv set as a background performer or stand-in is the PRIME place to being a Humble Learner.
Successful people that did background or stand-in work before their success:
Sylvester Stallone, Zac Efron, Vince Vaughn, Jon Favreau, Brad Pitt, Clint Eastwood, Phil Collins, Patti Boyd, Rudolph Valentino, Noel Coward, Ayn Rand, Renee Zellweger, John Wayne, Clark Gable, Megan Fox, James Dean, Ben Affleck, Matt Damon, Jackie Chan, Jean Harlow, Bruce Willis, and Marilyn Monroe. Among many others.
They learned how to hit marks during a scene, interact with crew, interact in a scene, read a call sheet, and most importantly observed over time and in person many professionals doing it.
Perhaps these folks knew a thing or two about being a Humble Learner…
Just a hunch.
A large hunch.
This is why being around the game regularly and consistently is so important. You will learn 2–3 X more being on a set and taking it in, and interacting wiht it than you will in any acting class. Not that acting classes don’t help (they do, I’ve taken many of them) but it is a complete and total myth when people subscribe to the belief that being on a film set as a background person is beneath them and has no advantage to it.
You know what they’re really subscribing to?
Here comes that word again…
So here’s my conclusion. I’ve proposed Two Groups and two new terms for the english language.
Group 1: The Experts That Will Work For You.
Become a Prospect Delegator
Group 2: The Professionals That You Aspire To Be.
Become a Humble Learner
So after being in the now mixed crowded ballroom (per above) amongst these 2 groups of people for an extended period of time, guess what happens?
You metaphorically bring them out into the lobby.
You slowly but surely, almost magically, start to become a better prospect delegator and a better humble learner.
Then what happens?
This is the real surreal part.
The roads meet.
2 things happen:
- The prospects who you delegated to have become absolute masters at what they do. You have grown. They have grown.
- You start to meet the people you’ve always Humbly Learned from.
You become the mesh of Prospect Delegator and Humble Learner.
Both sides have intersected and become one being.
Guess who that special being is?
You actually can have everything you’ve always wanted…
…If you trust the 2 groups.
They’re your intersection.
They’re what brings out your full potential.
See you soon.
By Geoff Pilkington
You can connect with me at: www.geoffreypilkington.com
Originally published at medium.com