The Raw & Real Series: New Beginnings

God did this. ALL of this. Please don't ever think I did a damn thing. This was not about a goal, or ambition, or willpower, or prayer, even. This is all what God brought me.

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THIS is a time of new beginnings!

In just 4 weeks, I’m moving to sunny, beautiful San Diego!

Dallas has been my home for 15 years, but it wasn’t the city I chose. I came here because of work … not because it called to my heart.

But San Diego is my choice! And I’m SO excited.

I’m going to give you a “virtual” tour of my new condo on the 29th floor.

As you come in the front door, you immediately get the view in the background through the floor-to-ceiling windows. The mountains are glorious! You can see the water, too.

There is so much open space. It feels so clean, so full of possibility. The floors are all wood, which I love.

There’s a washer and dryer, a closet … the guest room with its own walk-in closet. (I’m already picturing my little sis—my best friend!—here.)

Oh, and the guest bathroom has a soaking tub! #realtalk: I want in already.

Then there’s the kitchen (y’all know I don’t cook, right?). LOL.

One of the things I love most about my new place is the balcony and patio. I’m going to lay some grass down out there so Happy doesn’t have to go down 29 levels to relieve himself. Oh, and from the balcony, you can actually see two dog parks down below. (Happy is HAPPY!)

The master bedroom has floor-to-ceiling windows too, which I just love. There’s a sort of industrial look and feel in there and I love that too!

So I wanted to share this with you today because you’re my tribe, and you walk with me through my changes. I wanted you to know about this big one.

But more importantly, I want to give it up to God.

God did this. ALL of this. Please don’t ever think I did a damn thing. This was not about a goal, or ambition, or willpower, or prayer, even. This is all what God brought me.

Looking back over the last 13 months, I didn’t always understand His plan. If you follow my blog, then you know we straight up boxed sometimes. But here’s what I know: you’ve got to give it to God.

You’ve got to let God do God.

The beautiful thing is that, when you tell your truth, when you heal, you create the space to manifest. And when you start to manifest, what starts to arise, what starts to be revealed, is your destiny.

Healing is the key. And you know I’ve preached this for years, because I LIVE it.

The emergency hysterectomy knocked me on my ass, no doubt. But I CHOSE to heal.

As a human being, it’s normal to have doubts. It’s normal to be bone tired when you’re hit with shit … when you face loss. It’s normal to be scared—to want to give up sometimes. It’s easy to say, “Fuck, I don’t want to deal with this no more.” That’s human.

But if you want to be whole, you have to let yourself grieve. If you try to be all positive on top of some bullshit, it will mess you up.

I’ll say it again: I chose to heal. I chose me.

And choosing me means I tell the truth.

Yes, I am still sad. I will never have a child, and that still hurts. Healing is a process.

And God is a big part of that. I believe God broke me. Shook me. Thrashed the fuck out of me.

All to evolve me.

And on the other side of that, I am blown away by His grace.

I never would have given myself all of this—this new life. But God is so good. So faithful.

My God is a gangsta, and I’m His favorite.

I am SO grateful to Him for giving me beauty for ashes.

I’m starting all over again, and I am genuinely excited about the future.

I’ve walked through the fire, and now, I breathe it.


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