The Raw & Real Series: Breathing Fire

… I am breathing fire! And I LIKE it. I am not a quitter. I don’t give up.

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For the first time in a long time, today was a good day!

I am SO in my feminine energy. I did my hair, and I love it! The outfit I wore was beautiful. (I mean, I looked GOOD, y’all.)

My videographer came by so we could shoot some content videos, and it really gave me a boost.

I got more flowers, chocolates, and love notes.

One of my clients called me, and it was great clowning around with her. It felt so good to laugh!

I feel loved, and supported. #thankful

And the best part of today is that my body finally started feeling better! Yes, there is still pain, for sure. If I’m honest, my stomach still hurts like f*ck. And if I stress at all, the acids make everything even more painful, so I just can’t even go there. This whole body thing is a savage!

BUT, I am healing, and I feel stronger. I’m learning how to deal with the functionality of my body. And I can keep food down, which is definitely a bonus! #grateful

I can go for walks now, too. (Really, even with doctor permission!) Everything is slower, yes. But it feels so good to move my body. I mean, my lower back has been killing me, from lack of movement. So even going on walks—such a small thing, really—means so much to me.

I prayed, while I was walking.

Spirit answered:

“It’s not over.”

Which compelled me to play Kirk Franklin’s song, “Over.” #realtalk: Kirk has saved my life so many times, it’s ridiculous. No joke.

Check out these lyrics:

It’s not over
If you’ve got air to breathe
It’s not over
Don’t believe everything you see
You’re a fighter
Weapons from somewhere higher
They light up when you’re closer
If God says it’s not over
Get up ’cause it’s not over
(Yeah get up, get up, get up)
Get up ’cause it’s not over

Here’s the video with the words:


And the beautiful thing is that …

I am finally hopeful.

PLUS, my baby sister (who is also my best friend!) and my niece are coming to see me!

And even though I’m back in bed at the moment, because I am tired, I feel much less despondent, and far more positive.

(I am also currently in movie-watching mode—all three of The Matrixes, The 300, Kill Bill … I’m getting my Netflix on!)

I had to fire someone from my team earlier. And yes, it sucked dirt. But I just don’t have the bandwidth for people who just have to be right. It’s not personal. It’s just not an energetic match, and I can’t make that work. It’s too exhausting under normal circumstances, never mind now. I’m just not doing it.

I’m saying, either empower my leadership, or go.

Simple as that.

I’ve made millions all on my own. By myself. So when people come at me like they’re doing me a favor, I’m like, oh hell no. That’s just insulting.

I used to be willing to try and work things out with people.

Right now, it’s just no.

Probably because …

… I am breathing fire!

And I LIKE it.

I am not a quitter. I don’t give up.

Now, I make NO promises for tomorrow. Tomorrow, I just might be back to weepy and frustrated and overwhelmed. I might be pissed off at the world again. Tomorrow, I may not give a sh*t.

But today, I am positive.

And that feels good.

Venus Opal

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