Community//

The Pugilist In You

Stop Beating Yourself Up

We all hate bullies. Schoolyard bullies, workplace bullies, relationship bullies, and online bullies. You name the type of bully and we as a society have collectively said ENOUGH to bullying.

Voices have been raised and movements have been moved. Heck, I was even a signatory to the #WeSaidEnough letter that was publicized nationally and globally. Who isn’t at their wit’s end?

With bullying on the national stage and the subject of so much outcry, why is it that we continue to allow ourselves to be our worst and most relentless bullies?

Is it enough to draw a line with only our outward oppressors and bullies? NO. We all need to deal with what is going on inside us as well.

Men and women alike, we tell ourselves “I’m not going to put up with being bullied”, yet we run our own punishing internal dialogue daily. Why is that?

Why can’t we ever seem to be able to give ourselves a break? Why do we beat ourselves up so much?

Everyone deals with self-bullying. Some more than others and some worse than others. I have yet to meet anyone who has never had a moment of self-criticism. It’s a very human thing to do… and it’s okay within limits.

Self-reflection and self-awareness are absolutely fundamental to being a good human. We all need to be aware of ourselves and how our words and actions affect others.

Our ability to reflect on ourselves and our actions in relation to others is critical for a functioning society.

Bottom line, not being a jerk makes the world a better place for all of us.

However, self-flagellation through self-criticism doesn’t work well for society or for ourselves.

We need to stop being jerks to everyone, including ourselves.

Negative inner dialogue can make us embarrassed, self-conscious, afraid, and terribly unhappy . When we feel these things we often act out our emotions in an increasingly self-punishing inward cycle of negative thoughts and actions. We are jerks to ourselves.

Humans are weird.

The confounding part about all of this is that regardless of how much we judge, blame, and discredit ourselves, we can be amazing champions to everyone around us. By nature we all want to help and uplift each other including strangers and anyone else we can think of, except ourselves.

No matter how much we try to hide our inner pain, it shows. Even if we think it doesn’t, it does. No matter what we do to dance around it or deflect it, it shows up an many different ways and it affects not just ourselves but everyone around us.

For health and healing, self-loathing is a detrimental path – mentally, physically and spiritually. You don’t have to be a clinician to know this – we all know this.

Being negative has no benefits, yet we still do it to ourselves. It is as if we almost indulge in it. It’s a tough cycle to acknowledge much less break. But you can break the cycle! Your health depends on it.

When our minds are unhappy our souls are unhappy.

Unhappy souls create a lot of tension, anxiety, fear and inner-turmoil. This is what makes our bodies break down. This is why we are all so sick.

Under stress, our bodies act up, they ache and they break. Our bodies are the canaries in the coal mines we call our souls.

Our bodies are programmed to love us and be well, so they give us outward telltale signs when something isn’t right on the inside. Our bodies fall apart when we fail to heed these calls for help.

If you’re ailing or suffering in any way there is probably a larger reason for your condition.

Unhappy minds and souls make unhappy bodies. If you are paying any attention to yourself you know if your body is trying to send you a serious message. Are you listening?

Physical wellness is founded on mental wellness. If you struggle with accepting and loving yourself you will struggle with your health.

Self-love is the foundation to cure to all ills. This simple two-word solution is powerfully underrated. The amount of illness in and around us reveals how little we truly know about how to love and care for ourselves.

Don’t mistake ego for self love. A big ego is poor in self-love.

True self-love is about loving oneself without placing a value on that love. It is an unconditional love.

Self-love is a love that needs no explanation, substantiation, expectation, or demonstration. It is the love that heals us.

However easy to achieve it may seem, self-love is the hardest challenge I have ever confronted. I know I’m not there yet but I continue to work on it, daily.

We all have to work on it, so let’s just make sure we don’t beat ourselves up along the way.

Original content from JeliGavric.com

Photo by Matheus Ferrero on Unsplash

The Thrive Global Community welcomes voices from many spheres. We publish pieces written by outside contributors with a wide range of opinions, which don’t necessarily reflect our own. Learn more or join us as a community member!
Share your comments below. Please read our commenting guidelines before posting. If you have a concern about a comment, report it here.

You might also like...

Work Smarter//

Maintaining Boundaries at Work

by Mags Thomson
Community//

Say No To Bullying: but how?

by Christina Pacella
Bully
Community//

3 Psychological Reasons Even Good People Become Bullies

by Kelly Rudolph

Sign up for the Thrive Global newsletter

Will be used in accordance with our privacy policy.

Thrive Global
People look for retreats for themselves, in the country, by the coast, or in the hills . . . There is nowhere that a person can find a more peaceful and trouble-free retreat than in his own mind. . . . So constantly give yourself this retreat, and renew yourself.

- MARCUS AURELIUS

We use cookies on our site to give you the best experience possible. By continuing to browse the site, you agree to this use. For more information on how we use cookies, see our Privacy Policy.