The Other Side Of The Marriage Dilemma: Daudi Kabaka #Kenya

Hidden Lessons On Love and Marriage In DAUDI KABAKA'S Performance Of, "Msichana Wa Elimu!"

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When it comes to women, love, and marriage, we have often hears of the traditional narrative. Women are expected to be married, and she has a certain amount of time, before finding a suitable partner. Right? Then, there is the biological clock, and the window of a woman’s fertility years. During older times, college and work was out of the question. A woman’s duties, as wife and mother, were strictly for the safekeeping and care of her husband and children. My, how times have changed!

So, we have society’s expectations for what a woman should have. While certain demographic spaces are playing catch up, we can revel in the fact of woman being viewed as being more than a wife and mother. The audacity of her having a life, prior to having become a wife and mother, seems “odd,” to certain people. More women around the world are getting educated. In addition, they are traveling the world, pursuing their passions, and viewing infinite roles, of their existence. It is possible! The Universe is her oasis. Let life’s fruits come to blossom and bloom!

Of course, there is another issue to be addressed once a woman returns home, with her list of world travels and fancy education. Can she still get married? Is she “too educated” for the local boys? Does education “ruin” a young woman when she leaves home? Are there many incidents of young, educated women coming home with a superiority complex? We can apply different “yes’s” to all of these questions. Kindly remember that it’s not the issue of getting an education. Education is an advantage for women, who are deciding to enter into the workforce, and raise and family. Yes. It’s important to have educated mothers in the household. Perhaps, there are other issues, which are causing one to re-evaluate “the dilemma” of an educated woman, and her not being married, yet.

Sometimes, you do have those women, who feel superior to those back in her hometown, village, or neighborhood. It’s a fact, and such conversations must exist, when it comes to the empowerment of women. There are women, who view their education as a superiority-complex; caring less about those from a lower socio-economic level. Take care with such an attitude, Ladies! There are educated women, yearning to get married, but are having very little success. Why? It’s because the only thing they pride themselves on is having an education. Nothing else! Such dames look down on the feminine arts, motherhood, and doing nice things for a man.

Another layer to this conversation is the devaluing of a woman, while using her education, non-marital status, and age to do so. That, my Dears is very problematic. As beautiful as the worlds of marriage, and motherhood, may be, not all of women desire to be wife and mothers. Of course, they can be mothers in other ways-adopting children, foster moms, volunteering, and sharing knowledge. These are activities in the realm of motherhood. Needless to say, for some women, it ends, there. And, that’s alright, if they are content with that. However, the words such as “old hag” and others are projected at such women. Time for them to be laid to rest.

Singing in Kenyan waters and drifting, along.

There is a song, entitled “Msichana Wa Elimu.” The song addresses particular concepts of age, women, and marriage. What’s also fascinating is that it comes from the viewpoint of the local men, from the Kenyan village. So, now we are paying attention to the concerns of men, who see educated women as snobs. Could this be due to their particular insecurities, or shattering of the ego? Gender conformity and stereotypes are shattered. So, now what becomes of their masculinity? Will the presence of such women, cause the village women to question their own status as women? Perhaps. For now, let’s take a glimpse into the storyline. We can come back for a later discussion, at fresher time.

Daudi Kabaka
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