The Other ‘F’ Word

Ignoring it can make you sick!

Feeling, sad, betrayed, dis-respected or abandoned?

Forgiveness is the word. Not the have to type of forgiveness, but the real, “I choose to let it go” type of forgiveness, where you understand that lingering anger, or resentment can show up in the body as stress, high blood pressure or joint pain. Plus low self esteem.

“There is an enormous physical burden to being hurt and disappointed” reports Karen Swartz.MD, director of the Mood disorders Adult Consultation Clinic at Johns Hopkins Hospital. “Chronic anger can result in numerous changes in heart rate, blood pressure and immune response. Forgiveness calms stress levels, lasting to improved health.”

The successful act of forgiveness allows understanding through glimpsing the larger picture, removing yourself from the center of that picture, and seeing what else was going on at that time. It also allows you to bring in the best part of you, using your value system and priorities for a healthier more loving life.

There are many physical and emotional rituals you can do to allow the pain and resentment to dissolve and move into forgiveness. Here’s my favorite, which I frequently use with clients who have issues forgiving a parent or other family member, it is multi-generational and works brilliantly, at the same time, healing the inner child part of you.

Connecting in love, understanding and forgiveness

Forgiveness ritual: imagine you are standing in the center of a beautiful round room, gentle music playing in the background, you feel safe and pleasantly relaxed here. You suddenly become aware that in front of you is the higher self of your mother (or other family member you wish to forgive). You see her standing in front of you, glimmering with light and love, her arms open to welcome you. As she wraps her arms around you, asking for your forgiveness, you feel the unconditional love from her higher soul self to yours. As you look over her shoulder, you see her mother (or other family member) asking for your mother’s forgiveness. Your mother turns to her mother (or other family member) and they enfold each other and you feel the unconditional love flowing into you. And so it goes, one after the other, generation after generation, each time you feel the unconditional love of forgiveness. You feel a tap on your back and you turn and see your younger self holding her (his) arms out to you, saying they forgive you for not listening to them. As you fold this inner child in your arms, your mother (or other family member) joins you and you become one — feeling the unconditional love and acceptance.

By choosing to release the anger, pain or resentment, it allows you to live as your best self in your value system. As you heal the relationship with your body and yourself, so you will be more open to healthy relationships with others.

Try it, and let me know what you think. ~~ ’til soon.

Originally published at

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