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The one word that may help you finally find your purpose

How learning to say "NO" more often can lead to significant breakthroughs

Man drinking coffee and smiling while looking at his computer

Are you someone who’s trying to find your purpose?

If so, welcome to the family of outliers who want to be, do, or have more in life. We’re a rowdy bunch.

Seriously, you’re my people.

And, because you’re one of us (click here to learn more about who “us” is), I want to tell you that I totally understand the journey you’re on.

I also understand how damn frustrating it can be, feeling like you’re stuck on a never-ending hamster wheel that’s leading you no closer to actually finding your purpose.

You’re trying different things, reading all the books, listening to all the “gurus,” but it just ain’t clickin’ for you.

I’ve been there. And, again, I feel your pain. For so long, I did all of those same things too. And, like you, I got nothin’ either!

Now, I don’t want to poopoo on those things and say that you should stop doing them, because you shouldn’t. I firmly believe that part of finding your purpose is opening yourself up to new opportunities and taking action.

I’ve seen the Big Guy reveal people’s purposes to them in some of the most amazing and unlikely places, so definitely keep those things up.

But what I want to do today is present you with one more thing that you might want to start doing if you’re feeling stuck and are serious about finding and living into your purpose.

If you want to learn more about that, keep reading.

Your new favorite word

As a coach, when I sit down with clients who are on this same journey, and I start doing a little investigative work on what actions they’re currently taking, I typically get some variation of the same answers from above.

They’re going to seminars, reading the books, listening to podcasts, etc.

They’re doing all the “right” things. The same things I was doing when I was in their shoes.

But there was one thing that I wasn’t doing, that most of them aren’t doing either. It’s something that, when I started doing it, led to more breakthroughs than I had ever had up until that point.

Wanna know what it is?!?!

Well, too bad! Ha. I’m just kidding. You know I wouldn’t leave you hangin’ like that.

Here it is:

I learned to say NO more often.

I know, earth shattering stuff, right?!?!

But seriously, before you start thinking that that piece of wisdom was a total let down, let me explain.

See, here’s the deal, we live in a culture that praises “busy.” It’s like the busier you are, the better you are. Or, on the flip side, if you’re not constantly going and going, then somehow, you’re lesser than.

Logic tells us, that at least if we’re moving a million miles an hour, we’re moving. Surely that’s better than not moving at all, right? Eh, not really.

And on top of that, as servant-hearted leaders, which I know you are if you’re hanging out with me, we have the hardest time saying no to opportunities to serve and support others.

Now, I’ll be the first to say that we need more great people in this world who are living on mission and serving others.

BUT…

Doing so should NOT come at the expense of you pursuing your purpose. Let me say that again… serving and supporting others should NOT come at the expense of you pursuing your purpose!

Because, if you’re constantly filling up your schedule with busy tasks and serving others, when exactly are you going to make time for you and the pursuit of your purpose?

I’ll answer that question for you – you won’t!

That’s just the harsh truth. I know so many well-meaning people who want so badly to connect with what they’re put on this earth to do, yet they never give themselves the space to actually go and figure out what that thing is. Hell, I was one of those people for so long!

And now thinking through this for the first time, you might feel like this just sounds all wrong. I mean, isn’t it a great thing to go above and beyond to be of service to others and their needs? Isn’t that an UNCOMMON thing to do?

Yea, it absolutely is! But, not to the detriment of you pursuing your purpose.

I’m going to keep beating that drum until the beat gets stuck in your head or that bastard breaks, because it’s that important to understand.

Because here’s another piece of truth for you:

You only get so much time on this earth!

And, to go a step further, you don’t know how much time you have. You don’t know if you’ve got days or years, hours or decades.

So, because of that truth, you’ve gotta stop dedicating so much time to doing the things that aren’t moving you closer to your purpose and start dedicating more time to the things that are.

Even if that means saying no to things you really want to say yes to.

Believe me, you don’t have to attend every birthday party. And I get that FOMO (Google it if you don’t know) is very real, but you don’t have to join your friends for every weekend escapade.

Oh, and I promise you that life will go on even if you don’t volunteer for every committee or campaign that’s serving a good cause.

Finding your purpose is going to require sacrifice. Nothing great is accomplished in this life without sacrifices.

Well, in order for you to get off that damn never-ending hamster wheel, and finally break through to finding your true purpose and calling in this life, you’ve gotta be willing to make those necessary sacrifices.

Because the reality is, you’re either pursuing your purpose with the time you’ve got, or your not. You’re either going to sacrifice for your purpose, or your purpose is going to become the sacrifice.

Learning to say no more often is a great way to help you start making those necessary sacrifices.

Be UNCOMMON!

P.S. If you want to learn more about how you can create more time to find your purpose, let’s hop on a complimentary coaching call, and see how I may be able to help you in that process. 

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