Personal development is a growing topic that is constantly written about these days and everyone seems to be a self help guru, hoping to be the next Mr. Tony Robbins.
Personally, I have always believed the larger society loves to play to the broke. Unfortunately, there is a market for it otherwise there would not be all of these self-help empowerment websites, “gurus” and seminars.
Ones looking to others for inspiration when really we just need to dig deep down within ourselves. Anxiety, low self-esteem and depression are real and that is something that needs to be taken care of with help — a professional aka a Therapist. Finding a great one is essential because they are able to really keep you in check and be hard on you when need be. That is the difference between them and friends.
However, going to seminars to search for answers to your own problems from other people is, I believe, to be self-defeating…
…Self-defeating because no one’s personal problems are the same as another. No one’s loss, grief, pain and low self-esteem is the same as another no matter how similar the situation could be.
Connecting with someone who has lost a loved one, for instance, when trying to deal with your own loss is not the same. We all have different environments, different nurtures and unique experiences that allow us to deal with similar circumstances differently than even your own sibling.
What is really in order (as a person who inhales personal development and always striving to better myself), is your own mission.
Principles that you should have, written and understood — that really define your own core as a human being.
Personally, at home I have my own commandments that I know I stand for— written on a white board, that I take a quick 2 minutes to look at on my way out to the garage to get in my car, to take on the day.
I have about 20.
Key? Figure out what is true for you.
Here are 5 of those 20:
Being very internally focused, pressing on is much harder than it sounds. Through every day life we are facing challenges, opportunity and setbacks. Once those setbacks hit, disappointment occurs and an unhealthy cycle could take place.
Was plagued by this in my early 20s. Growth and experience is the best teacher.
Analyze a situation, understand what happened, realize what worked and what did not, and give yourself some time — but time is a precious commodity.
Shake it off, and use that experience to prepare and look ahead for tomorrow.
“You may delay, but time will not, and lost time is never found again” — Benjamin Franklin
The longer something really is pushed off, is something that never begins. We only have 24 hours in a day and 8 of that is dedicated to sleep.
When you want to begin something, make a plan to begin it today — even bits and pieces of it. That feeling when you start something that you want to do, is empowering in itself.
Procrastination is the enemy of growth and the confidant of stress.
Finding this is a struggle for a lot of people. Honestly, it is the key to your core as a being.
Hollywood even struggles with this. We see the glitz; the glamour; the money and the beauty Hollywood celebrities throw at us. Then why do we hear a lot about tragic stories of lives lost very early due to drugs, and depression? Self-abuse with drugs have taken away the people, music stars and award-winning actors who were most perceived to be one of the more successful ones…?
Success is an empowering feeling and usually success is correlated with happiness.
Its a lie.
Although personally, success does indeed drive me. Being successful is not the definition and factor of finding happiness.
Consider yourself very blessed if you have found something that truly drives and fulfills you and have been able to really build a living out of it. Its not easy and I advocate for everyone taking time to really understand themselves better to find that thing they could find to hone in on to work on their free time, nights or weekends.
Most of us never bet on ourselves, once you do you will be surprised of what your truly made of.
All of us have unique skills that we have not explored yet that we could really exploit and in this “gig” economy and technological era, we could really turn a hobby and passion into a fulfilling endeavor.
“Success without fulfillment, is the ultimate failure” — Tony Robbins
Society is split in to two pieces especially in the capitalistic arena. There are the capitalists (i.e. inventors, creators, entrepreneurs, innovators, producers, etc.) and there are the masses: consumers.
Capitalists have gotten a bad reputation for being money hungry and being portrayed as the anti-thesis of robin hood.
Forget the political jargon.
Their attitude and mindset is what is notable. They create. They have an idea and vision and they build it out for the masses. This tactic is not supposed be in the mindset of building the next technological enterprise a la Apple or Google, but really honing in on your own craft.
There are many ways to create — Using your own mind, experiments and trial and error for an end product.
This is my favorite one, because it empowers YOU to take something you had in your mind and see it come to life.
The commandment that is vital to understanding who you are and where you are.
There are not many millionaires and billionaires that exist and a lot of us have stable consistent jobs that help us take care of our ultimate needs. A lot of us wish for more, want more and look to the rich as the ultimate guidance to freedom and happiness.
Our actions dictate our happiness. Money makes it easier to, but its not the answer.
Giving is essential. It allows you to feel gratitude about yourself and thankful for where you are while understanding that there are a lot of people who have it much worse than you, who are struggling, especially throughout the holiday season.
See a young girl raising funds for her dance group to travel outside your local Albertsons? $5 wont hurt your well-being.
See someone who is suffering from hunger? Offer to help and furthermore, enter the grassroots of making a difference in your community.
When you volunteer, especially towards a social cause — you will feel that special feeling. That feeling of gratitude and fulfillment.
There is just nothing like it.
Originally published at medium.com