You took your time getting into this world.
Once you were there my love for you had yet to be unleashed.
As one year of attempt, nine months of carrying and 36 hours of labor turned me into a soul without energy.
Still, when our skins made contact, my heart skipped a beat. So tiny yet so magnificent.
We both embraced calm and serenity as we enter space with our loved ones.
I watched how your father was beyond himself; his little miracle was finally there.
He showed up every single moment in your embryonic life.
He took care of the both of us. I had so much love yet the physical pain, and ordeals kept me from showing.
Society forced me to feed you through my body despite the excruciating pain I felt for months to come.
But then as you grew with the weeks, moments of pure joy and serenity as you fed off me.
Months flew by, and we were separated by my need to earn money in institutional boundaries.
No longer had I the choice to bond with you when I needed it the most. A bond that grew so strong and would reveal my true calling on earth and the greatest gift in life – you.
Struggling to keep pace with climbing up the corporate ladder again, competing at work for my fundamental rights and managing an increasingly frustrated other-half.
I tried my best to stay afloat in an ocean full of tsunamis. Life on the outside and death within.
Years went by, and you grew in a little and magnificent human being. I missed out on many moments but tried to be fully present in some.
Escaping my reality, I immersed in work and books. Attaining approval from society to belong was what I desired all my life.
I missed out on the most important lesson of all: we belong because of birthright, full stop.
I finally had my awakening and commenced a journey of self-love and acceptance. But above all, inner freedom.
We grew closer as I was increasingly living my authentic self. No more mask, no more escaping in virtual snippets of life.
You became my rock and lifeline and helped me navigate the ocean of life like a real swimming athlete.
Know this, my love, never ever lose your unique sparkle in life. You and your entire being are enough and complete.
Your father and I may no longer be, but we will always be your family. We will still be your safe space for you to thrive in life.
You are worthy of care, respect, and love because of your birthright. Nothing else.
Love from your guardian angel and the proudest mommy on this planet.
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