The myth of ‘having it all’

As a woman, the promise of being able to ‘have it all’ has plagued me most of my adult life and most especially as I have had children

The Thrive Global Community welcomes voices from many spheres on our open platform. We publish pieces as written by outside contributors with a wide range of opinions, which don’t necessarily reflect our own. Community stories are not commissioned by our editorial team and must meet our guidelines prior to being published.
This is all I need x

As a woman, the promise of being able to ‘have it all’ has plagued me most of my adult life and most especially as I have had children. For me this declaration or claim is not something to aspire to or empowering in any way.

Firstly what does it actually mean???? Does it mean I can have a full time career, in a job I love, which offers me the total flexibility I need and want to nurture my children and be at the beck and call of their needs, whilst building on a strong relationship with my husband, cooking organic, keeping fit, maintaining friendships, looking great at all times, stay looking young at all costs, processing the endless amount of updated information on how to bring up my children (they can eat fruit, but not too much as it is bad for their teeth……….. on on and it goes)

As I just don’t believe that is actually possible and it becomes another ‘thing’ to add pressure to a persons life.

Access to information is equally empowering and overwhelming – once you have digested another piece of information about what is good or bad for your child or you or the environment you can become obliged to act upon it and that can feel overwhelming at times right?

Life is always a balancing act and the scales are never perfectly balanced.

As a working mum I am constantly pulled between the next strategy meeting and the the school play – it can feel like you are not giving either 100% and don’t get me started on the fear of having a poorly child during a challenging time at work.

That is not ‘having it all’ – that is trying to have it all whilst feeling constantly guilty that you are not delivering somewhere. Pulled in every direction – not taking care of yourself, and for what?????

So lets redefine what ‘having it all’ actually means. It should be decided by each individual based on what brings happiness and joy into their own lives. If you are already doing that, you are the person I am inspired by and aspire to be more like.

For me, living a life without guilt and full of choice would be ‘having it all’ and that is what I am working towards.

Share your comments below. Please read our commenting guidelines before posting. If you have a concern about a comment, report it here.

You might also like...


10 Lessons I’ve Learned Since Leaving the Corporate World

by Erin Hatzikostas

Kati Deutschle: “Be around those that support you”

by Ben Ari

What I Know Now – Advice to My Younger Self

by Kimberly Seabrooks

Sign up for the Thrive Global newsletter

Will be used in accordance with our privacy policy.

Thrive Global
People look for retreats for themselves, in the country, by the coast, or in the hills . . . There is nowhere that a person can find a more peaceful and trouble-free retreat than in his own mind. . . . So constantly give yourself this retreat, and renew yourself.


We use cookies on our site to give you the best experience possible. By continuing to browse the site, you agree to this use. For more information on how we use cookies, see our Privacy Policy.