“The master had failed more times than the beginner has even tried”
Stephen McCranie
One primary reason why you may fall into depression is often associated with repeated failures.
Nothing hurts more than trying to figure out the right direction for your life only to find out you are only moving in circles, just like taking two steps forward and three steps backwards.
Another major cause of mental stress comes from the way you respond to situations. There is a saying that if you can find calm in the chaos, you’ll win.
Sadly, just like I am also guilty of this sometimes, you may be making the mistake of letting your bad days or failures trick you into hopelessness or thinking you have a terrible life.
As humans, it is natural to grieve when we fail; bear in mind that feeling down for so long can force you into making poor decisions.
Often, we say to ourselves, “Why did this have to happen again, why did I have to fail again” and I say to you; Why not?
Rather than trying to fight failure, channel that energy into identifying ways you can be better.
Once, I had a friend who lost a big-time job, and she broke down. All attempts to get her back on her feet proved abortive. She didn’t want the light of the day, neither did she want the darkness of the night.
I could understand her pain as I had witnessed how everything played out from the interview process, the trials, the hope, and eventually getting the job. I saw how much effort and love she put into it, and after a year, she was laid off due to a costly mistake she made.
“Hey, baby girl, you have got the required skills! Apply massively, and I can bet you will get calls for an interview in less than two weeks,” I cheered, but nothing worked.
There was a problem: She didn’t see the big picture anymore. She had let the thought of failing to crush her.
Before the loss, she was at the point in her life when things were starting to get better, and boom, in the twinkling of an eye, she was back to point zero, and that broke her.
When we fail, we let fear overpower and force us into negative thinking. We suddenly think our life is over, and some give up or settle for less. My friend wasn’t spared; she spent five months in the house sleeping, waking and doing nothing!
It was pretty terrible that she eventually developed a phobia for her computer, her LinkedIn profile, and her Gmail account.
“I can’t go on LinkedIn. I am too scared to check my mails,” She confessed at different points.
Sincerely, I was forced to wonder if there was more to her mental breakdown than she told me. How could losing a job get her that way? But then, I remembered not judging people and understanding that people react to pain differently, and it may take one person three days to overcome certain things, while it may take another three months.
The good news:
One morning, I had just finished having carrot stew and rice when my phone rang, it was my friend.
“I am awake from this stupid slumber! How could you let me do this to myself for five months!” She almost cried, then it turned into hearty laughter, and we laughed and laughed.
“What changed?” I was pretty curious.
She responded:
“We look at mountains and call them eternal, and they seem… but over time, mountains rise and fall, rivers change their courses, stars fall from the sky, and great cities sink beneath the sea. Even gods die, we think. Everything changes”
“What do you mean?”
“There is no success without failure”, She giggled.
Apparently, she started channelling her energy into positive thinking. Indeed, we are who we think we are, and we are always one decision away from making our lives better!
Whether it is 5 months or 3 days, no matter how long you stay down, always work towards getting back on your feet.
It is okay to feel like you aren’t progressing, it is also okay to fail, but you must keep moving.
Facebook wasn’t the first app that Mark Zuckerberg built; he built chat systems, music apps and study tools that failed! He is not alone; J.K. Rowling got rejected twelve times before he finally published Harry Potter. Even Beyonce had to make hundreds of songs to get Halo!
Facibus
So you see, those we admire at the top have failed so many times before getting to where they are today.
Quick game?
Do you think you aren’t growing? Now, think about where you were a year ago.
Did the outcome make you smile?
If not, I will advise you to become more conscious and intentional about the kind of life you want to have. Create goals and make them happen.
A wise man once said the key to success lies in your daily activities!
“People don’t have to see it; they don’t have to understand it – YOU see it. YOU understand it. Every day we are all fighting battles no one else sees. Getting out of bed – that’s a big deal! Eating your first meal of the day – that’s a big deal, all of the small things and all of the big stuff. You are a warrior”
Anonymous