The word “narcissism” has become a common household term, often used to describe somebody who is arrogant. When the reality is, Narcissistic personality disorder is serious and can be exceptionally harmful.
Identifying parental narcissism is difficult yet significant in healing our mental well-being.
Often a narcissistic parent is not a full-blown narcissist, but they do have narcissistic traits and tendencies. With multiple faces of personality, they are difficult to pinpoint.
Usually, narcissistic mother’s identify with one of the following characteristics: The flamboyant-extrovert, the addicted, the secretly mean, the accomplishment-orientated, the psychosomatic and the emotionally needy. But what about the mother who is a mixture of these types?
After experiencing years of verbal abuse; I was always the butt of the joke specifically my weight & appearance. Intellectual abuse; Devaluing my opinion, manipulating information. Psychological abuse; Using intimidation, gaslighting and minimising her behaviour and actions. Physical violence; Throwing things at me and attacking me whilst driving I made the painful discovery my mother is narcissistic.
My mother (although never officially diagnosed) identifies as the flamboyant-extrovert, psychosomatic and emotionally needy narcissistic parent. Although she has an addiction to marijuana I never include this as a parent with a substance abuse issue will always seem narcissistic because the addiction will speak louder than anything else.
This means my mother is a public entertainer, loved by the masses, but secretly feared by those who really know her. She’s noticeable, loud, flashy and the “fun” mum. She also uses illness and aches and pain to manipulate me and others, to get her own way, and to focus attention on herself at all times.
Identifying parental narcissism is not about encouraging “witch hunts”, blaming or projecting anger it’s about understanding the many faces of the narcissistic mother so we can move forward, build resilience and heal our souls.