We all, or at least I’ve have had enough of the success mantras and articles.
But now, after knowing what is the sure-shot way to success (maybe), I want to know the sure-shot way to failure too!
“Realizing that you’re not present is a step towards becoming more present.” -Eckhart Tolle in the Power Of Now.
I want to know what is the stuff that is pulling us back. We all know what’s going to take us ahead. But what is the thing that is not letting us take a giant leap?
I am willing to find that weed which has caught hold of my feet. I want to free it and swim towards the surface, once again, feeling the sunshine.
Most people don’t start what they want to. Because of the fear of competition. That they’ll get crushed amid the crowd.
This belief holds us back. It has held me back in writing for around a year. I have gone hap-zap a dozen times before finally deciding to write.
Earlier, I was doing Mathematics, Engineering, Science, Writing, Computers. I was doing everything but nothing!
The belief of security held me back. But on one fine day, I would get charged and be full of hope. Then I would make up my mind to finally write!
But in a few hours, my mind would start scaring me about all the consequences of getting into writing.
I always used to think,
“If I choose writing, I’ll have to be in the top. Only then I’ll be able to earn some bread and butter. Otherwise, I’ll have to chew only bread! (But I like butter! 😢)”
“But if I choose to engineer, I’ll be able to earn a living even if I don’t succeed and soar high. Even mediocre results were enough for me to get started. Anyways! Who wants to go so high and achieve accolades in engineering!? I’ll do the required and live a normal and secure life.”
I always feared all the competition that I would face in writing. In the mainstream, I had to compete on a national level. But in writing, my competition became global.
Writing platforms used to seem like oceans of writers. This used to scare me even more. I used to write a blog side-by-side back then. There was no activity over there either.
So altogether, this writing plan stunk!
Losing hope real quick
Losing patience and cursing yourself or others is easy. It is a lot easier than keeping the butt stuck onto the seat and continue to work. To practice.
If you want to know the ways to lose hope, ask me. I’ve lost hope innumerable times. No wonder I could never make up my mind about which career I have to pursue. Or which habit I have to instill deep under my skin.
We must start with what we think is morally correct for us. If we fail, our job is to get up and stand again.
I am not willing to waste more time on whining. That I can’t do it. Or that it’s not the cup of my tea!
We should have no option other than getting back and rerunning.
My father conducts meditation camps. According to him, people lose hope very often. And then they whine about it and create a big deal out of it.
According to him, perseverance can save them from permanent failure altogether. Temporary failures are a lot better if you learn from them and move on.
But I feel that we need perseverance everywhere! Be it in writing or business. I don’t know a lot about other skills. But I’m pretty sure that this skill is platform-independent.
But for writing, I am 101% sure.
“I hate my work! That could be the reason why people won’t acknowledge my work. Maybe that’s what stunting my growth. My success rate and speed! I am worthless. This whole plan was a waste!”
Another sure-short way to fail fast and fail repeatedly is to curse ourselves and our work.
Just because no one is coming and reading or acknowledging what you did.
Well, here’s the hard fact that even I hate to hear till now. That no one is sitting around the corner waiting for me to appear with my masterpiece.
So stop cursing yourself. Self-pity and shame is the worst remark and imprint that you can leave on your self.
Along with yourself, even your work deserves the same reputation. It is very obvious, that your work deserves a lot more than curses and judgments.
Expecting and then over-expecting
“Expect everything, and attach to nothing.”
-(Some guy whose name I’ve forgotten)
My worst mistake of all times that I expect stuff to happen quick and my way.
Make your desire and then leave the details to the Universe.
-Deepak Chopra in the 7 Spiritual Laws of Success
Our habit of not letting go is another way to meet failure. I can totally relate to this habit.
My favorite habit is an obsession. I desire, and then I expect the results to flock to me almost immediately. Even if I haven’t done any remarkable work in that area.
I write 3 posts, I expect claps. I write a few answers, I expect views and upvotes. I post something on Facebook, and then I expect the likes to fly right into my palms.
It is like giving up space exploration without exploring the telescope.
Not being regular is a major drawback in any work you choose. Writing, programming, science, studies, going to the toilet (damn regular!). You name it.
According to me, the #1 thing that sets successful people and failure apart is consistency.
Writers like me need to be consistent. Writing every day. Not missing the mark for even a single day.
I try my best not to miss weekends either. Although I feel so sluggish that I feel like banging it all on the wall. But I kick myself and write. If not much, them at least as little as 500 words.
Prakash Kushwah, my mentor is a believer of Super-small. He insists on writing as less as a hundred words.
He believes that writing even one sentence will get you started. Once you get started, writing more doesn’t seem like a problem anymore.
Not being able to detach
In my earlier post, I discussed how hard work had its own drawbacks.
“Climbing a ladder all the way up just to find out that it was leaning against the wrong wall.”
-Stephen R. Covey
Which is why we have smart work at our backs.
But, raw power diminishes our ability to detach.
My case is ridiculous.
I’m not even interested in too much hard work. And I still can’t detach. I can’t unplug from work or task whenever I want to. And even if I quit the work physically, my mind keeps churning and revolving around the same thing. As if the whole universe revolves around the completion of that work.
So basically, I’m still working.
A few minutes earlier, my hands were paining after slapping the keyboard continuously. My eyes were also dull and I felt like throwing up.
But I was still writing. Over-stretching and over-stressing myself.
To start is tough. But to stop is even tougher.
Neither of the two extremes can help us in becoming truly successful. Only a perfect mental balance can get us closer to success.
Maniacs have never attained success. And there are a lot of chances that they won’t.
You should be able to detach as easily you attached.
I would want to end my list with this sub-topic. The ego.
It is hard to see the ego coming, which is the root of all failures.
Its most “easy-looking” and predictable face is that of pride. If I see pride, I should understand that ego has found a place in me.
But ego has a lot of other complex forms. Such that will deceive you to extents where you won’t be aware of it and you’ll get pushed off a cliff.
Ego can come in the form of self-pity and whining, too. That you can’t write or work properly. Always comparing with others. He’s better and I’m stupid! I am worthless! Nobody cares about me! These are some of the famous statements of the ego.
Many times, you’ll get egoistic about not being egoistic. Such is our superficial understanding and such are the cunning ways of the ego.
Ego can take you to unimaginable depths. Depths from where there will be no return until we commit ourselves to free ourselves from the ego.
I’m not a spiritual master. But if you wish to read more about ego, feel free to click on the link below…
Don’t hold any belief, don’t negate, don’t welcome nor relinquish anything but just be as you are now and remain still…distilledwisdom.in
You want perfect failure? Follow the guide I’ve given above.
It’s not always about starting new habits. But it is also about rectifying the redundant errors and removing them.
When you’ll quit dishonesty, you’ll automatically become honest.
What can you do other than trying again after failing?
Try. Just patiently try. Don’t give in to these negative habits.
There can be a lot more stuff that could make it to the list. But I find the listed ones the most important in my view.
What do you think can be a perfect catalyst for failure? Mention in the comments section below!