Community//

The Inconsolable Pain of Giving Birth to Still Babies

I was elated on finding out l was pregnant for the third time in four years. Though the happiness was filled with anxiety and uncertainties, l was still hopeful. I had lost my two little angles immediately after birth, and l was praying for the miraculous survival of my third body. I was laying on […]

I was elated on finding out l was pregnant for the third time in four years. Though the happiness was filled with anxiety and uncertainties, l was still hopeful. I had lost my two little angles immediately after birth, and l was praying for the miraculous survival of my third body.

I was laying on my maternity bed on one Friday morning holding my little angel. I had given birth to an adorable baby girl; she had her father's eyes and nose. I smiled weakly looking at her tiny hands and toes. Her father entered the room holding a bouquet of orchids, my favorite flowers. The flowers brought hope and l was sure this baby was meant to live.

I woke up at 3.00 am on Saturday, the baby was very hot, she had a terrible fever. I cried so loudly in dismay. The nurses quickly came and checked on her. “ She looks very pale, she needs to be placed in the neonatal unit," once nurse suggested. I tried to prevent them from taking her away from me, but l was very weak.

She needed to undergo phototherapy to be okay. My husband arrived at the hospital at around 6.00 am. He looked so calm as always, he smiled lightly at me and held my hand comfortingly. "How is she?" he asked in a low voice. Before l could answer, he was called by the doctor.

A few minutes later he returned, he could not look at me straight in the eyes, and l knew something was wrong. “ She did not make it," he said calmly reaching out to my hand. A sharp pain pierced my heart, I was dumbfounded and could not utter a word.

My third baby had been cruelly taken away from me by death. The travails were unbearable, and l could not handle them alone. 

RH incompatibility caused the death of my three babies

With the loss of my third born l needed answers. RH incompatibility was the cause of my babies death. I  do not have a rhesus component in blood making me rhesus negative, while my husband has a rhesus component making him rhesus positive.

It is impossible for a negative rhesus mother to give birth to a healthy baby. A negative rhesus mother produces antibodies against the positive rhesus baby. The new born baby suffers anemia and jaundice and will eventually die.

I was unaware of my rhesus status and thus  caused the death of my little angels. The incompatibility can be controlled through injection of antibodies to ensure the fetus survives and is healthy.

It is not a Curse

Many mothers are unaware of this medical situation and continuously give birth to still babies. Many people in the society term it as a curse and will always blame you. You have not caused, it is just an unavoidable medical situation. Don't let a minor medical situation make you not be a mother. The condition only affects mothers who are rhesus negative, if the father is rhesus negative and the mother rhesus positive it is not a problem.

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