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The Importance of Self Criticism

We are so often told to be positive and think positive at all times in our lives and yes I agree this is needed, but, I now know, so is self-criticism and criticism of the self

I trust that the article you about to read, both thought-provoking and inspiring, is of value and help. I just spent the most wonderful and inspiring 7 days of my life in London attending a unique seminar called “Vital Planning for Elevated Living” facilitated and taught by Tony Jeton Selimi. The truth is if I never gave myself permission to do this kind of work, I wouldn’t now see the truth in the saying “go through the thorns to get to the rose.”

This is exactly what I experienced in these five-day intensive life-transforming experience with world-renowned human behavioural expert who by no coincidence also happened to be the person who helped me get to place within myself where I became the observer of the life I had unconsciously created. I arrived in London feeling ill, I returned home feeling healthy, clear, and inspired to write this Article about my OCD and own Inner Critic that Tony helped me heal and love.

This unique five-day seminar with Tony ended up being the most blessed experience ever. In truth in Tony’s presence, you end up healing and loving all that you are. It was a 7star experience where I felt at home every day in Tony’s life, heart, and home. No matter what I was going through inside, Tony’s unique method of teaching helps you turn everything you don’t love about your life into fuel that drives you on your journey to fulfilment.

I enjoyed his unique teachings, chats over lunch and tea breaks, dinners with his unique clients who are on same wavelength, and most of all a surprise trip to the Houses of Parliament that Tony arranged with Dr. Lalti Sodha, a wonderful chiropractitioner. In truth, I know no other coach who looks after his clients so well with such attention to detail, care, and fantastic hospitality. It’s also the first time in my life to be subjected to 10 plus hours of intense coaching every day for 5 days, which I found it to be equally challenging and extremely loving, inspiring, and enlightening.

Looking with a lazer sharp focus through every area in my life created several breakthroughs especially with regards to my OCD which is now healed 95%. I started this journey twenty two months ago and I can’t really believe how much things have changed in my life and I have achieved since undertaking this inside out approach journey with Tony as my teacher, healer, coach, and mentor.

Initially when I had my first consultation with Tony I just wanted to get better, reduce my pain, and normalize my OCD so it’s bearable.  Little I knew then that this will bring me to perfect health and inspire me to upgrade my entire operating system. Looking back I ask myself why for 23 years I was asleep, why I chose to invest my hard-earned cash in things such as alcohol and taking drugs and not educating my mind and having a mentor and a coach such as Tony.

Words do not do justice to the transformations that coaching and healing helped me create. It’s been amazing, expansive and literally mind-blowing at times and despite being challenged at my core, I’ve loved every minute of it. It is on this journey that I finally discover the Root Cause of what created my OCD, especially more so after having discovered just why I had OCD in October of 2015.

As I worked through the 5 days of Vital Planning for Elevated Living with Tony acting as my teacher,  one of the discoveries and breakthroughs I made was with regards to the Self- Criticism I and many of you like to get rid of. We are so often told to be positive and think positive at all times in our lives and yes I agree this is needed, but, I now know, so is self-criticism and criticism of the self. This is exactly what I am very pleased to share with you all in regards to my breakthrough.

Prior to my initial meeting with Tony in April 2015 whereas I mentioned all I wanted to do was to get better, I was in an extremely dark place and felt affected and disaffected by many dark forces in my life. My pain, shame, and guilt were immense and they filled my entire being to bursting point, I was a very broken man, I’m not afraid to admit and the awful isolation I placed myself in was an experience to behold in itself, one I truly would wish on no one.

I travelled to many dark places, as I have mentioned before even to the very brink of suicide, a failed suicide attempt and the gutter that was alcoholism. Last five days I also spent time to reflect on my personal alcoholism and just how it truly affected me. I have been through multiple home detoxifications at least 6, another 4 times going through cold turkey and the pain, shame and guilt I felt as I went through a hospital detoxification aged only in my early 30’s where I was attached to Heart Monitors, Blood Pressure machines and had 3 intravenous drips in my arms all at once, 2 in my right and 1 in my left arm.

In all truth I’ve spent over 60 days of my life in detoxification, astounding when I now look back over this figure, I wasted over 2 months of my life in detoxification. This was very raw for me to see when I truly thought it over but it had a truly resounding effect and drive on myself to never be this way ever again. During this point in my life, I hated myself and my life so much that the pain and suffering I felt daily was horrendous to bear.

I became my biggest self-critic when I say I hated my life, I mean I detested every single second of it with a venom that now looking back it seems almost impracticable and impossible for me to comprehend that I truly had such a poison within me directed towards me. It’s true though I had such a deep hatred and anger within myself that it could have penetrated through the very core of our earth, my hatred for myself.

Then one day I just didn’t want to feel this way anymore, I decided enough was enough and one of my biggest drives to change my life was my inner self-critic, I was so sick in mind and body of simply criticising myself constantly every hour and minute of every day that I could simply stand it no longer.

This want and need to stop being critical of myself transformed into a driving force for me to change my life, so as I look back today knowing within my heart how healthy I now am. I realised in the last few days with Tony how this self-criticism and self-hatred spurred me on a path to change my life forever and for the better. We are often taught not to self-criticise but, for me, my perspective of this has changed forever after five days of doing intensive work on myself with Tony. I now know within my heart I need this self-critic to point out my perceived faults and weaknesses so that I can change, grow, and learn. I need my self-critic so I can continue on my path to fulfilment.

I do hope you have enjoyed the article and if you know someone effected by what I have written, I highly recommend my coach Tony Jeton Selimi as the man to help you or them breakthrough and shatter that pain. A pain that I found controlled my life, my family’s life and that of my friends. Here is a link to his recent interview on Brian Tracy TV Show for ABC, NBC, CBS, FOX, and their affiliate channels https://youtu.be/TyeYlGrASdw

There is no better feeling in the world than the one of healing yourself and knowing that your healing is healing the lives of many others. It’s priceless teachings of Tony Jeton Selimi that helped me get out the deepest prison I created for myself and showed me a new way of thinking, living, and being. Yes, it costs me a fortune to work with an expert such as Tony, though the outcomes I have created in the last 22 months working with him are priceless is what I say to everyone who asks me.

I never thought I would be blessed to experience all what I am sharing above and in the other articles I have written about my journey, but blessed and thankful I am, thank you and I love you.

If you are someone who is serious about changing all of the eight key areas of life, heal your body-mind, and accelerate your personal and business growth, then look no more, book yourself a two hour consultation with Tony (http://tonyselimi.com), do his Vital Planning for Elevated Living Program, and commit to at least a years of coaching. At the end of this journey, I know you will share in the future what I now share …it’s the best gift you will give to yourself, the gift of love, wisdom, and knowledge that awaits inside of you.

Paul

P.S. Meeting all of the amazing people he coaches, mentors, or heals is just one of the many additional hidden benefits that you get that add a priceless value to your ever-changing and unfolding journey with him. 

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