It's the quality friendships that matter, not the quantity.

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Having great friendships is one of the most important things in life. We all need friends. They are vital to our overall health and is the core to any relationship. Our friends keep us sane, grounded and they’re there to cheer us on. They’re there for us during the best of times and in the worst of times. Friends help us get through our lowest moments and celebrate with us during our highest accomplishments. 

Friendships are our way to connect with others and form bonds. Building friendships helps with confidence, reducing stress, learning coping skills and having a sense of belonging. Having quality friendships can help in reducing health problems such as anxiety and depression. It’s vital for our emotional wellbeing as well. 

We have hundreds of friends on social media. What we need is the in person face to face contact. We get excited when we get friend requests or likes yet most people hardly make time to schedule an in-person get together to connect. Even in this crazy modern world, your true friends will take the time to be there for you and call you out when you need to hear the truth. 

You may have a lot of friends but you’re close to only a few. You have a mutual respect, understanding and admiration. These are the friends that are part of your girl tribe, the ones you can call at 2am when you need someone to listen or you’re stuck on the side of the road and you know they’ll come get you. Your true friends know what you’re thinking and can complete your sentences. Sometimes they know you better than you know yourself and can give you honest constructive criticism when you may be your worst critic. 

You want friendships that you can feel the most comfortable around. You share the same interests and core values. You have respect towards each other’s individuality and work to understand and resolve your differences. You’re a strong support system for each other. You’ve got each other’s back. You should be able to rely on each other when in need and your friendship should be based on mutual trust and honesty. 

You should feel a sense of safety with your friends. You should be able to be yourself and voice your opinion and feelings freely, however, being tactful goes a long way. You should be able to confide in each other and there should be an equal give and take. A true friend is happy and excited for you when something good happens to you and will celebrate your wins and achievements with you. 

You should expect that your friends will be there for you like you would for them. However, do not expect that they are there at all times and take up their time or drain their energy by excessively needing them to listen and go on and on. Even friendships have some boundaries. When you understand each other, you just know. Don’t take your friendships for granted but don’t take advantage either. It’s a give and take. 

Friendships are based on a connection with sharing a similar point of view and perspective. Quality friendships are more important than quantity. I have a lot of friends but very few have known me since childhood. They are the friends who I may only see once or twice a year, but when we see each other it’s like we just saw each other last week. It doesn’t feel awkward and I’m not trying hard to think of what to talk about. Those are the friendships that are genuine and real. 

I have a lot of acquaintances and very few that I can count on both hands who I consider my true friends. They understand and get me. They know me, the good, the bad and the ugly. Those are the friends who know my character and my heart. I am blessed to have those lifelong friendships.

Think of those friends closest to you. What do you have in common? Do you vibe with each other? What are your conversations like and where do you go to spend time and hang out? Who have you known the longest and who knows you best? Make a list of those friends. Think of the times when you had a friend be there for you during your toughest time? What about the friend who you could laugh with uncontrollably? That friend who thinks the same as you and says the same thing at the same time? That friend that drives out to see you in the wee hours of the morning to be there for you when you’re not feeling well. Call those people and tell them you appreciate their friendship. They’ll probably be surprised but very happy you did.

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